So very grateful for this site

This site has b een a real life-saver for me.  I'm 39 days clean now of oxys and percs, and have had my ups and downs, as expected, thru this whole w/d process  Before I came here, I actually contemplated suicide when thinking I wouldn't have my pills to keep me going thru the day.  However, from day one of cold turkey, none of those thoughts came to me, in large part due to all your help and support.

Now my kids are going thru really tough times, and both are drug addicts in one way or another.  I hope I have the knowledge needed to keep them going.  It's going to be difficult to try to get them clean, I know that - but I'm going to try my best.  They're both full grown sons with kids of their own so have plenty to live for.  But they're both very stubborn, just as I was - it's a family trait, lol - that and addictive personalities, which very likely came to me from both my parents, and I've passed along to my kids.

As usual, any comments or suggestions will be appreciated.  These kids are far too stubborn for me to convince on my own.  fyi, one smokes weed and sleeps all day; the other probably buys oxys, percs, valium, whatever else he can buy on the street and is 2 mos. behind in rent and about to be evicted.

Kathy

[dominosarah]

Kathy, Please PLEASE DO NOT give them anymore money.  I know it is tough to watch your kids go down but they are using you now and that is the addict in them.  As one lady says on here "support their recovery, not their addiction".  You have enough on your plate with you.  They are grown adults and need to be acting as such.  They may get mad at you but that is okay.  There is nothing you can do to get them clean.  Only they can do that.  You just cant make it easier for them to continue on with their lifestyle.  

I am glad that cervical collar is giving you some relief.  Keep us posted on that MRI......

You my friend are doing great so stay focused on you and your recovery.......sara

[IBKleen]

Hey Lady,

You know I think the world of you and admire you for going through what you have and hanging in there so I am not about to beat around the bush with you. I have to give it to you straight.

You should not be trying to help your sons get clean. While 39 days is fantastic, you don't have the time, experience and the tools to help them. You are new to recovery yourself. And because they are your sons, there is an emotional bond there and being objective is going to be very difficult. As harsh as this sounds, you will probably use drugs again before they get clean.

Kathy, like I said, you have really come a long way but it is a long journey. You need to concentrate on YOU. As far as I remember, you have not found anything to help with the pain yet. That needs to be a priority right now. Get yourself back on your feet and even then, I do not suggest that you attempt to get your children clean. While I agree that they need help, it should be from an outside source.

I am speaking from my own experience and what I have seen in my support groups. I always wish you the best and hope you get yourself to the point where you are not in pain everyday. When your sons see that you have been able to do it, they may follow. Leading by example is a great tool.

Just my two cents. Hang in there!!

[AZKathy]

Thank you my friend, I hear what you're saying, i really do.  I've been helping them out financially with some commissions i've been getting, and it's really cut into my own personal needs.  I've decided to cut them off financially, as they both have been living far beyond their means.

In the meantime, I've been wearing a cervical collar which seems to help a bit and am doing everything possible to try to get that MRI pushed thru faster.

Thx for your help!
Kathy

[dominosarah]

Kathy, Please PLEASE DO NOT give them anymore money.  I know it is tough to watch your kids go down but they are using you now and that is the addict in them.  As one lady says on here "support their recovery, not their addiction".  You have enough on your plate with you.  They are grown adults and need to be acting as such.  They may get mad at you but that is okay.  There is nothing you can do to get them clean.  Only they can do that.  You just cant make it easier for them to continue on with their lifestyle.  

I am glad that cervical collar is giving you some relief.  Keep us posted on that MRI......

You my friend are doing great so stay focused on you and your recovery.......sara

[AZKathy]

Thanks sara,

I couldn't afford to give them any more money now even if I wanted to, and desperately need to buy a new hearing and and some new glasses.  So no more money for them.  The younger one will probably give me a sob story, while the older one will moan, groan, and swear, but there's nothing i can do about it. btw, the older one just went and bought a huge new LCD tv or whatever they're called, and now can't even afford the payments on it, so he'll be coming to me, and is going to be very angry when I can't help him anymore.

Oh well... they're grown up and need to learn to take care of their owh problems.  They need to get clean on their own; I can't help them with that - and that's a huge issue right now that they're not even aware of..

Still working on getting that MRI done - will keep you posted.

Kathy

[vicki595]

Kathy!  You sound great....and tough!!    Good girl...

Glad the neck is a bit better.  You've been so strong throughout this process!!!

Let us now about the MRI...

Vicki  xo