Son stole $40 from me:(

I've had a super bad weekend. My son wanted to visit with us Saturday night, so I said ok & picked him up. He talked a little for the 2 hours he was here & just watched TV.
His girlfriend picked him up & I gave him some groceries.
I just happened to check my billfold & I think I'm missing 2 twenty's. I'm not sure-I never counted my money, but I'm so sure I had 2 twenty's. I called him later & no answer. I never heard from him at all Sunday-which makes me think, he did steal it.
I shouldn't have left my purse out(my stupid fault), but he promised a while back he wasn't stealing from us anymore. The temptation, I guess.
Should I ignore him totally or confront him-even though he'll deny it? Ask his girlfriend what they did Sat. night? She probably has no idea he stole it.
I've kept this from my husband(my son's step dad)-he'd call the police.
I don't know if he's using or not-it's probably not oxys, but probably something.

[beachtowel]

Welcome.....

If I were you I would call your son and leave a message and tell him if he does not bring back your $40 you will call the police......
and see how he responds.......

If I may put myself in your sons spot I used to do this here and there when I was really desperate I would call and stop by to visit my parents but always my motives were to steal money from both of them and my dads pills.............as much as I could......

This is not your fault Mom your son is stealing because his addiction is telling him to.......if he stealing from you that means he will steal from his friends and soon department stores.....I don't know how old he is but he will crash and burn eventully.......look at your comment about his step father he said he would call the police on him........

Things will get out of hand very soon unless changes are made..........

[DesperateMom2001]

Thank you for this.
Do you think I should offer to do the suboxone treatment IF he'll go to a half way home?
I haven't checked much into it-the cost of suboxone, etc. I've read on here how hard it is to go cold turkey & realize I may be asking for too much from him.
He's 25 & is getting ready to be kicked out of his apartment for not paying rent-no job. We won't let him come here. I don't know what to do:(

[Beargizmo]

Our 18 year old daughter stole a $600 diamond bracelet that I'd bought for my wife, and pawned it for $130 to buy drugs. (this was several months ago). We booted her out of the house on an extremely cold winter afternoon, closed the door and locked it.  didn't answer the doorbell, when she begged to
be let back in, she had a "friend" pick her up..same friend who wrecked her car, and stole money from her.  We told her we loved her, and she was welcome to stay, but we were not going to watch her destroying her life with drugs, AND we did not trust her in our house.  After about 48 hours of this, she called, asked to come home and has been pretty much on the straight and narrow ever since.  I told her "you only get so many second chances..and you've just used one"...she's got her problems, still, but no more instances of this stuff.

Jim

[beachtowel]

So where will he go now?

[beachtowel]

what options does he have?

Would you ever consider him moving back in with you?

What kind of drugs does he use.......what is his drug of choice?
How long to your knowledge has he been using..

Does his girlfriend use?

does he have a job?

[DesperateMom2001]

Tough love worked for you, but so far not for me-he doesn't have heat or hot water, but he's still there. Very soon, he will be evicted & nowhere to go-his girlfriend's parents won't let him come there either. Yes, she did use, but CLAIMS to be clean now. Neither have a job.
I haven't seen him since Sat. night-either a guilty conscience or he's in never land.
No way can he come here till he's clean & has a job.

[DesperateMom2001]

He's on oxycontin-been using for 5 years-other drugs too-not sure though.

[beachtowel]

Tough love by who? my parents?

That did not work at all and rarely does..........

unfortuneatley the tough love has to allow him to hit bottom and hopefully nobody gets hurt
or he does not get into trouble with the law.......

I went in front of a judge after 37 years of active addiction.......
I had six felonies which could of put me away for ten years.........

That is the tough love that made me quit......your son is 25 I was 48 when this happened to me......
Would your son be willing to come over and how would he react to an intervention with family...
Could his step father set aside his anger for a couple of hours and for you for the sake of your son...?

You son should go into a inpatient detox and then straight from there to an inpatient drug rehab......

You asked about Suboxone earlier and it is a way to get through W/Ds but the way his head is right now I don't think it would be successful...........and you would just be throwing money out the window is there anyway that I could talk to your son on Yahoo IM ?

I am now doing my internship as an addiction counselor I might be able to open his eyes........

[DesperateMom2001]

I'm sorry-I meant tough love to Jim.

I'm afraid he will get into trouble with the law-he's got some bad checks out. We offered to pay them if we followed the program we wanted for him-detox & rehab.

That's wonderful you are willing to talk to him, but I've tried him talking to counselors before & he said no. (which made me think he's not serious about quitting) I will ask him about talking with you on IM though.
I've also heard that interventions don't work-especially if he doesn't want it.

Do you think I should try the detox & rehab again? He is renting his apartment off his step brother & as bad as he hates to evict him, he can any time. Do you think that would make him think-would that be hitting bottom?

My husband is trying to be suportive-he can just take so much. We lost so much from his stealing 5 years ago & we don't want to go through that again. He did go to an alonon meeting with me last week, but it was mostly ladies with alcoholic husbands-not kids. I'm not going tonight.
My son's dad is no help at all-he was an alcoholic & thinks it's just as 'easy' to get off drugs.
I'll discuss this with my husband & decide if we should try to send him again. I think I'd send him far away:( Last time he was an hour away & he left with his girlfriends parents. We live in Indiana-I might check in Ky. or Ohio. The worst thing is that he doesn't have insurance.
Thank you so much.

[pop414]

I had a hundred dollars in my wallet when i woke up its gone. i asked my son and he was to calm and said no. Normally if he gets blame for something and he really didnt do it , he starts to cry and perform. what do you think