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374206 tn?1306091854

Started another try on quitting this morning!!!

I've quit before by using the Suboxone film...but then one day, hanging out with the mister, got bored and really wanted to feel good, I got back on 'em again...I didn't get back up to the taking 10+ at a time  but I was back at about 5 sometimes 6 at the most at a time...O, I'm talking bout loratab 10's...anykind that I could get my hands on....but anywho, I got some suboxone film again...and I cut the strips up into little bitty squares...instead of following the rules, I put one lil piece under my tongue and it helps me make it through the day.....I am only on day 1 without any tabs so I know I have yet to hit those real withdrawals...I wish I could go cold turkey BUT seeing as though I know how terrible those WD's are, I just couldn't stand it....I have sat my mister down and asked him PLEASE to stop being my enabler because although I know he does it because he doesn't want me to be sick, he's hurting me in the long run.....I am scared but I dont wanna be a pill popper anymore...and I know this time that it's not something that I can play with when I get bored and wanna party in the future....I love them too much so I know I have to leave them alone...I cant function among the living without being high on them damn things....just so you all know, I first started taking them because they were prescribed due to a terrible accident and at that time, I had NO idea that were such an addictive drug....I found out later on that people wanted them and when I would run out, ofcourse I would get sick and go seek more so I wouldn't be sick...smh...the things that are done to us by the doctors and then the things we do to ourselves...smh...I'm scared but I'm focused!!!....
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Avatar universal
you are doing exactly as im doing now,im scared as hell.im in britain and its suboxone tablets here,i have enough to last 4 days by which time i hope the worst of the wds are done with me.i dont intend on swapping one addiction for another!!i really just need to face the world straight again n remember who i was before the pills.good luck Jaynickdee,wish you all the luck in the world.xx
Helpful - 0
374206 tn?1306091854
you did the right thing dumping all those using friends....I cant leave my mister but he will respect my wish to keep all pills out of my way, no mention of pills or any of that....I've been with this man since 1997.....but just started taking those pills a few years ago when I was hurt in a accident....I'm gonna make it...I let a withdrawal hit me and that is the only time that I take a suboxone....so soon all this stuff will be out my system and I wont need to take the suboxone at all.....pray for me...I'm gonna make it!!!....
Helpful - 0
374206 tn?1306091854
Thank you so much...I've got that plan in place and have told all those around me to keep all pills and all mention of pills away from me..pray for me...thanks....
Helpful - 0
374206 tn?1306091854
lol!!!...ain't that the dang truth....I am allowing myself to go thru some WD's...but once they hit me, I put a lil piece of suboxone under my tongue....soon all this would have passed and I will be thru the worse part....pray for me...thanks....
Helpful - 0
374206 tn?1306091854
Yes indeedy....I definitely remember those terrible WD's...and I dont put a piece of Suboxone under my tongue unless I start hurting, get sick or have to run to the bathroom because my tummy is hurting....I woke up in the middle of the night and had to run for the bathroom quickly...then when I was done in there, I went and put a tiny piece of suboxone under my tongue...once all this poison is out of my system, I'm done with pills.....
Helpful - 0
374206 tn?1306091854
Mister does take the pills.....he just gets them for me because I dont come out the house at all.....lol...he wont be going to no rehab for nothing and I am gonna get thru this....thanks to all of you for the encouraging words....
Helpful - 0
5039239 tn?1364024671
Dumped all my using friends when I finally got clean. Tried cleaning up 6 months prior and they told me one would be alright. I realized my friend just wanted me to keep using with her, not a very caring friend at all. Try talking to the doctor about how to get clean. I went to a outpatient recovery program for 10 months. I just couldn't keep living a life obsessed with drugs and alcohol. Life is definitely better, studied the twelve step program and learned to have faith in God. I am blessed with my sobriety, you can do it too. We are worth it, to be our very best we can be.
Helpful - 0
2218783 tn?1357571081
you have to guard your sobriety consider it life or death. do whatever it takes to stay clean.
Have a plan in place when your mind says just one wont hurt because just one turns into 2 then 3 4 5 6 and 100 pills later its a deadly carousel ride and you have to make your mind up that no matter what you wont use.
Accountability is huge and aftercare and your pill source get into an aftercare program if one doesnt work there are many options out there cut out your pill source  and tell your secret it helps with accountability.
I know its hard but if you want your life back you can do this!
Good luck to you and I Hope you think about the suggestions given. and keep posting on here this is a good place for help and advice You can do this!
Helpful - 0
5373017 tn?1367136199
Sometimes after major accident you have to have to have pain relief. This nurse at a trauma that I was in for a .44 magnum gunshot to the hip that blew ti apart,told me, honey you are going to be running out of the strong pain meds they are going to give you. This was in 1989 before pain clinics. She told me to take 5 good ole bellyache asprin and it will stop as much pain as your pain meds. The only difference is you wont get that euphoria. I didn't believe her but she was right. It dont help the withdraws though. Its to bad you can't dance with the devil and have any expectation that he is gonna behave. OH he loves people to be suffering withdraws. What a SOB!!!
Helpful - 0
4522800 tn?1470325834
Yep! Being Accountable is right. If we keep walking in the coals we will get burned. Have you gone to any of the Meetings? Support is a big one in this road to recovery. Once you fire up the Pleasure (Survival) Part of the brain it plays the "I feel good" or "Just one for this or that reason" See it does not stop. Then before you know it we are out of control one more time. Also knowing they are around can mess with your head. Have him hide these Pills if he has to have them. If not maybe he can get off of them too! I wish you Luck and Keep up the fight to stay clean. Give it some time! It does get better.
Bless
Helpful - 0
1970885 tn?1435860428
Until your "mister" stops, you will continue to relapse. And the withdrawals are SUPPOSED to be hell. Consider what you're doing to your mind and body. You are putting crap in it and then don't want to face the reality of detox. I used for over 15 years. I've been clean for almost 18 months. My detox was hell on earth. And I use it as part of what keeps me clean. I never want to go through that again. And if there ever is a next time I might not survive.  Be accountable for what you've done. Make changes in your life. And accept the consequences of drug abuse.  Don't blame doctors.  We put the pills in our mouths - not them. You've got a long road ahead if you really want to get clean. Now stop BSing yourself.
K
Helpful - 0
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