State of a Marriage after Oxycontin

6 months into our marriage I found out my husband had been hiding an oxycontin habit.  He had been on and off oxycontin and vicodin for a few years due to pain in his knees.  Once I found out, he stopped cold turkey and we found a dream team of doctors to help him.  Through the journey with the pain management doctor they ended up putting him back on oxycontin.  He also went into surgery to fix his knee.  After a 9 month ordeal with the doctors, he had gotten up to 400 mg of oxycontin per day.  He finally said enough and worked with his doctor to taper off.  He got off the drugs by decreasing his does over a 2 month process.  It was a living hell for him where he truly felt he had near death experiences.   He believes it was a life altering experience.  

5 weeks into his sobriety, he went home to visit his family (parents, sister, nieces) and came home to tell me he wanted to leave me and move back home.  I was SHOCKED.  We had been so strong through this whole thing...we had started trying to start a family...we had been house hunting...we were getting our fresh start and begining to live a pain & drug free life.  He was madly in love with me and our life when he left for his 1 week trip home to his parents.  He came back a compeletly different person.  He is so depressed and confused right now.  

My question is if anyone out there has experienced the same thing.  Is this a part of withdrawls?  Is this depression?  or is this just life seeming to hard once you get off drugs?  Does a person ever get their mental strenght and passions back?  He keeps saying he is 'hollow' and I just wonder if he is permanently damaged or if he will get back his feelings for life again.  Would love insight from anyone out there who may have gone thorugh this.

[troubleinohio]

wow, im so sorry to hear this...do you think he met someone (an old ex girlfriend or something like that when he was back home?) that seems more likely considering the circumstances. Either that or he got introduced back onto the drugs while there. I dont know, it just seems weird that everything was fine until he went back home and then decided that... I wish you the best of luck and keep us posted. I wish I could help you more in some way..

[dbgc]

depression is a huge issue after quitting, proud of you for sticking it through with him. 5 weeks the brain is still trying to heal its self and the hollow feeling is a big issue. I doubt he met somebody but more likely he is having a hard time coping without the drug. does he go to any meetings? Just give him time and he may want to use again but not let you down and this might be the way he thinks he can handle it. I can tell you are a truely patient person and your heart is full of love for him. try to sit and talk with him and feel him out and be understanding of his needs and to yours also as you need the love and compassion too. like i said the brain is a funny thing and it takes along time to heal he still is in the mental battle and fighting his emotions. best wishes to you and keep us posted. My heart goes out to you and you husband. he can be normal again it just like trainging the mind over again to cope with life without drugs.

[tylersblueeyedmama]

I am so sorry to hear you have to go through all this!  I completely agree with Dbgc!

Please keep us posted :)

[dama66]

wow thank you all for the feedback!! I too thought it might be he rekindled with someone back home, but i'm 99.9% sure that is not the case.  I think its more a matter of wanting to be back in the safetey and comfort of the small town he grew up in, parents, old friends, etc.  We live in a big city that is far from where he grew up and it is at the heart of the rat race and I think it's overwhelming him right now.  

Thank you for the information about depression.  I too think it is the depression of being off drugs.  I just don't know how long that depression is going to last and if it will lead him back to me anyway.  It is so sad and i'm so heartbroken.  I wish someone could tell me its totally normal and he's going to wake up and love me again in a few weeks :-(