Staying Sober From Hydro

[Goldenbear]

It has been over 2 weeks since my last Lorcet 10/650. At my peak I was taking 10-10/650 Lorcets for herniated discs in my back that were diagnosed in January of this year.(C5,C6 shoulder, neck level).
My injury was completely healed in early July, but I knew all the tricks to keep my Doctors thinking that I was still injured badly enough to be on 60-80 Lorcet 10/650 a week.
I really loved the pills alot. Never have I been addicted to any drug or alchohol... Hydro was a good companion for me.
In looking at myself carefully since my sobriety started I recognize that the Hydro was the vehicle I chose to take to relieve myself of some serious doubts I felt about taking care of my family and the fear of not being able to be DADDY and HUSBAND.
Today I understand (I go to group therapy twice a week for 2 hours at a time) through reflection and by being honest to myself that I cannot make everyones life perfect and happy. My responsibilities are to be a good father, husband, friend to the ones around me. My fear of being inadequite will not take those I Love away from me. Somehow I never understood that if I wasn't perfect it wouldn't cause me to lose the ones I Love so much.
Also, by expressing my pain and frustration my mind does not need the numbness and buzz from HYdro. Can anyone else see that drug abuse is directly related to how we run from our pain and suffering? All of you on this forum magnify the thought that if we dealt with life as it comes we would all feel better and possibly seek attention, warmth, and security instead of drugs and alchohol.
Goldenbear

[livingdeadgirl]

I just spoke with my Workman's Comp case manager, and they are pushing for me to settle.  I am still not released from my neuro to work, and if I settle I will no longer have the medical.  It has been 3 years but my back is progressively getting worse, not better.  I was denied SSI but have filed an appeal and should be going to court again soon.  I have always been a hard worker, so it is difficult for me not to do anything, but I can not lift more than 20 pounds or stand for longer than 15 minutes.  I can only walk up 2 flights of stairs before my back and legs are exhausted.  I need to contact my representative for comp. today and see what he thinks.  As it is SSI would need to pay me for 3 years of lost work, and a settlement may still pay me, since I am never going to be able to do the work I used to do.  Has anyone had a situation like mine, or have any advice for me?  Go to the neuro tomorrow to read my latest MRI.  I'll check back soon, have a great day everyone!  Thx Pixi, I appreciate the thoughts!

[athena]

bo,you are so right.It really is mental for the most part.I think thats why this forum helps keep me on the right track.
Ldg,you are in my thoughts and prayers.i hope things go well with your neuro doc.

pixi

[livingdeadgirl]

I never expected to live my life relying on pills to get by.  When I was younger (I am 36) my friends all experimented with different pills, but it wasn't my thing.  Then I injured my back 3 years ago and can not function without them.  I do not like the tylenol 3's I asked them to put me on, I really do not like how they make me feel, but they help the pain, and I do not take as many as the Percocets I was taking last week.  I am looking forward to the follow-up with my neuro on wednesday, I want to have my spine taken care of and not live on pills so I don'thave a liver in 5 years.  I would much rather take mychances with another spinal surgery than keep on using.  Keep your fingers crossed for me and I'll let everyone know what he says, ifthey do not reschedule me AGAIN!

Maxine

[Bopigg]

It must be 99% mental!  My brain is telling me to call the Doc next week and get a refill, but I think about how much energy I had today.  With the pills, I have no physical pain, but mentally feel crappy.  Without the pills, I have physical pain, but feel crappy mentally.  BUT, when I feel good mentally, I feel like the pain is less.  I never thought I would be getting relief from a website but everyone who writes, seems to be really troubled with this also.

[athena]

Hello and welcome.You are pretty much out of the woods on the physical w/ds.It's all mental from here,unless your still in pain from your injury.Congratulations on 1 week.it's not easy I know but taking the tyrosine will help with your energy level and seems to help with depression.Good luck and keep posting.Not many people read this far down every day so you may want to post closer to the top.

pixi

[athena]

hi smiley and welcome.Have you read any of the posts on withdrawl?If you read the ones from around the first of oct. you'll get a pretty good understanding of what to expect when you quit the meds.The best way to do it(if you don't have health oroblems to prevent this) is to get all the ingredients from the Thomas recipe (It's listed all through this forum)do your best to get some help with your children,and if you can stay home from work that would be great.Your going to feel like h*&% for about 4 days then things will start to get better.It's the mental desire for lortab that takes the longest to get over.Posting here has helped me a lot.Just pick a day and flush.We will be here to support you.Good luck.

P.S
If you post at the top you'll get more responses.Most people dont read down this far.

pixi

[smiley77]

Hello everyone, I dont know if I missed anyone one giving me any advice, so I will pray and hope someone will here me this time. Im currently taking 5-6 loritabs and 10mg. I notice that I base my day around them. I feel like and cant start my day without them. I have arthritis from the waist down and chronic headaches. I know a lot has to do with stress. I'm a single parent with 4 children and times are tough. I truly feel like I depend on these pills to get me through the day. Can someone please tell me how I can begin to take this pills out of my life, so I can try to feel good about myself.

                          sincerely smiley77

[Bopigg]

I am glad to find this page.  This is the first real informative area that I have found and feel connected just by reading the stories.  I have been off Lortab 5/500 for one week now. I was a State Trooper and got hurt in a car wreck.  I tore some ligaments connected to my Facet joint causing impingement to my nerves.  I have been taking approximately 90 pills a month since January, but in the last six weeks, I have taken about 190. I felt great when I take the pills and would even go exercise knowing I could come home and take some, usually 1-2 and drink a coke.  But I haven't been living.  They cloud my thinking, I am in a semi state of nausea and my lower right side hurts.  I am going to try the L-Tyrosine.  I wish I would have known about it a week ago.  Thanks!

[Witchywoman]

You got it!

love,
WW

[groovygirl]

hi - when i saw the name you chose for yourself, it gave me the chills.

about the numb and tingling hands...i have carpal tunnel syndrome, and it became MUCH worse while taking narcotics.  fluid builds up in your body much more than normal while on pain meds and puts pressure on your nerves.  that would explain why you might have that feeling while using, but i'm not sure why you'd have it when you go thru w/d.  many strange things happen while detoxing...i'd just ask your dr.

[lisabet]

WW: Please send your good thoughts and energy my way.  I could use a good dose of white magic.  Love, Lisabet

[Witchywoman]

Hi Maxine,
Your pain and back situation sound a lot like mine. I had surgery a little over a year ago, and have had to really reduce my level of activity. Bellydance has been a *huge* hobby of mine, I teach and used to perform a lot or just dance alone in my studio for fun and fitness, but it just hurts my back so badly I've had to all but give it up, and that has been emotionally really hard to do.  I'm 39, but was 35 when my back problems were first diagnosed.  I really feel for you. I know what it is like to have to be on the sideline when you used to be in the middle of it all.  And the sex part, well, let's just say, I hear ya!

I'm glad to hear that you are only physically dependant and didn't use the meds abusively as I did for so long.  No matter how you take them though, you do eventually build a tolerance, and get withdrawal symptoms when you try to stop. That's an unavoidable biological part of it. But if you are not abusing them, no need to put yourself through the pain of withdrawal, especially if you have to have more surgery.

Check out this message board :  http://www.backpainsupportgroup.com/cgilocal/ubbcgi/ultimatebb.cgi

It's a great support group with fellow back pain sufferers, and is focused on chronic back pain, not addiction issues. There is a spine doctor who out of the goodness of his heart posts there occassionally and answers questions, but he's not the one in charge of the board. They are nice folks.

love,
WW

[livingdeadgirl]

I do not feel that I am addicted, but my body seems to become accustomed to them quickly, and then they do not last as long.  I called my neuro's office today and asked them to switch me to tylenol w/codeine, which they did.  I would like to quit, but like you said, I need them to be able to function.  I have 3 kids, 12, 7 & 4, and it kills me to hear them say "Does your back hurt, mommy?"  I try to hide a lot of the pain, but they know and are great about it.  I miss being active, riding my harley for long rides, playing soccer with my kids, and being an active participant in sex with my very understanding husband.  I am anxious to see what the Dr. says when I go back next Wednesday because the area that is closing is the area he did not want to mess with, being the base of my spine and having already had a surgery 1 year ago.  I am tired of living in pain and having to sit on the sidelines!  I am ONLY 36!  3 of my disc are moderately dehydrated now, along with hernias and the stenosis.  The stenosis will advance regardless of what is done.  I'm sorry for being so long winded, but it is nice to vent with people who understand.  Does anyone know of a chat room where I can go to do this venting, or just chatting?  I like the boards, but I also like instant answers!  Thanx for all of your help and concerns.  I am going to college right now, full-time, and my husband does not have a license (DWI), so I need to do all the driving.  We live 25 miles from town, sometimes I make 3-4 trips a day.  That makes it difficult on me as well, but I have got to do it.  I guess that is enough for now!  Chat soon!!!!!!!
Maxine

[Witchywoman]

I understand your situation really well, being someone who also have degenerative disc disease and a lot of pain.  What I didn't figure out from reading your post is whether you decided to stop the pain meds because you were abusing them, or whether you just got tired of having to be on them.

If you are an addict, like me, who also have chronic pain, the longterm solution may be to develop a healthy way of taking the meds that can allow you to function normally, rather than have the meds steal your life from you through abusing them.

Don't beat yourself up for being on pain meds if you really need them to function.  People in your situation do well on sustained release long acting meds like oxycontin, so long as you don't abuse it.

I too have been told by my Doc that I need fusion. I keep saying no, but I started questioning my decision when last night I couldn't even sleep, the pain was so bad.  

tell us more, and welcome!
WW

[livingdeadgirl]

Thanx SouthernBelle, I don't have too much withdrawl, but I know the Percocet just dull the pain and I end up doing more than I should. Yesterday, after my body finally realized I wasn't taking the narcotics, I could not even stand up straight because of my back.  I can only move and be normal if I have some pain relief.  I was taking Loracets, I think 650's, the blue ones, and realized that I was not feeling "normal" unless I took them, scary, so I switched to the Percocets.  Maybe I will try the Tylenol3 next, they are a step down from the others, less chance of addiction, and I don't have to go pick up a prescription every 10 days like for the Percocets.  We will see what the future brings, I go back to my neuro next Wednesday, and have scheduled a second opinion 150 miles away for Halloween.  I had a decompressive laminectomy last October 23, and the Dr. told me it was severe, more so than the MRI showed, and he could not take care of it all right then!  So, here I am still in pain, already have scar tissue, and doing worse.  My Dr. is the only Neuro in this area so he is too overwhelmed and overworked.  I will keep reading posts and posting as well, thanx for the encouragement!!  I know I am not DEAD, I just love that song from WHITE ZOMBIE!

[southernbelle]

you are not living dead, girl!  you are wonderfully, beautifully ALIVE!  i'm sorry, i haven't experienced the hand thing.  keep reading through the threads/posts, maybe you'll see something.  keep reading and posting...there are lots of folks on here with lots of different backgrounds.  if anything, you've found a sounding board.  your situation sounds serious (pain), so i would think talking to your doc first would be the best thing.  but maybe some of the others have a different opinion.  the only thing at this point i can tell you is that things WILL get better and that you ARE NOT alone!  love and peace to you.

[livingdeadgirl]

Hello all, I ma new here, but love whatI have been reading.  I have a degenerative disc disease in my spine as well as spinal stenosis, I am only 36 and a mother of 3.  I have been on narcotics for 3 years now and am ready to say to hell with it. Have any of you ever experienced a numb, tingly feeling in your hands due to withdrawl?  Sure as heck can not sleep at all.  It is sooo weird feeling it keeps me awake.  It only happens when I am notting taking (trying not to) my percocets.  I go back to my neuro next week because my L5-S1 is 50% closed at this point, am I'm sure I am looking at fusion, cage, rods, whathaveyou.  How can I get through all of that without pain medication?  I guess my big answer I need is the weird hand feeling thing. I have only taken 1 percocet in 2 days, compared to 5-6 a day of 5/325. I was maxed at 4 per day but have developed a high tolerance.  I have thought about asking the Dr. to switch me to Tylenol/codeine, to help me break this cycle.  I hope to find a light at the end of this tunnel..Thanx for listening!

[Thomas02]

Hi Sean,

First let me commend you for seeking treatment before the roof fell in on you. That in itself is more than most, including myself, can claim. I must say that I agree with Mr Michael that 5 days and off the bup seems a bit drastic. I've never used bup (not yet, anyway LOL) but I've heard that bup must be carefully tapered or the WD symptoms are every bit as bad as any other narc. But since you seem to be stuck with the current situation, Hippy and Goldenbear are absolutely right: you must get on the Imodium right now. The electrolyte replacement is also a no-brainer at this point. The short-term use of a benzo such as Valium or Klonopin would certainly help for both the emotional and physical aspects of WD. Just remember, benzos are fine as a short-term measure, but, if you can believe it, they are dramatically worse than opiates in terms of addiction and, to be sure, WD. Opiate WD is not life threatening (except to the pharmacist that won't dispense LOL), but benzo WD is. So, just remember, my friend, like me, you are an addict. You will always be one whether you ever use or not. Treat the benzos with respect. The L-Tyrosine in the recipe will give you a mental and physical boost. Many, many recovering addicts swear by it. You may already have this, but here's the section of the recipe that I believe would be most helpful to you. Good luck, Sean.

Thomas

During detox, hit the hot bath or Jacuzzi as often as you need to for muscle aches. Don't underestimate the effectiveness of hot soaks. Spend the entire time, if necessary, in a hot bath. This simple method will alleviate what is for many the worst opiate WD symptom.

Use the Imodium aggressively to stop the runs. Take as much as you need, as often as you need it. Don't take it, however, if you don't need it.

At the end of the fourth day, you should be waking up from the Valium and experiencing the beginnings of the opiate WD malaise. Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine. Try 2000 mgs, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mgs. Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the "coffee jitters," consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate WD, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help.

With breakfast, take the mineral supplement (Strong wide-spectrum mineral supplement with at least 100% RDA of Zinc, Phosphorus, Copper and Magnesium).

As soon as you can force yourself to, get some mild exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc. This will be hard at first, but will make you feel considerably better.

PLEASE NOTE: If you have any medical complications, first check with your doctor before detoxing to verify that this regimen is safe for you.

[bmac]

Same to you my friend.
            Billy

[percsnomas]

... i know, and i can remember a time "when i was down so goddamned long, it looked like up to me"....
peace brother bill

[bmac]

Percs that was funny because I played last night for a party and we played that song.Well to be honest we always play that song.The Roadhouse blues has been played in so many bars it is funny to see it put in print but I can remember a time when I did get up and open a beer.It is going to be cooler here than there today,now that AIN'T right is it? And yes it made me loopy this morning.

Chezz,
I am on Kadian,morphine 20 mgs twice a day.I hope you get some good news from your neurodoc.Let me know about things.
                       bmac

[Chezz]

Good Morning Bmac. Glad to see the medicine is working for you. It helps you sleep? What type of med is it?
Thanks for the post yesterday. It helped me to rethink what was going on.
Actually I have had ALOT of time to think since I couldn't sleep last night. I ran out of my flexiril, I guess that was helping me sleep more than I thought.
I haven't been worrying about the surgery though! I really am just happy now that I know what is up. I was getting real tired of hearing "your MRI doesn't look that bad, you should be alright"
Like my new doctor said. The test WORKED. Your symptoms finally match the test results. We can SEE were the problem is now.
So I guess it is a relief too.
Thanks again,
Chezz

[percsnomas]

"well, i woke up this morning and i got myself a beer..."
sorry, i listened to the Doors during the ride in this am.
HaHa, that is tooooo funny about your weather... it seems all of our snow has melted, and it will be a balmy 65 today.

Did the Kadiam(sp) make you feel loopy this morning?
What did your wife say when you told her you had to go back on meds??

[bmac]

Enough of the cold air already! It's 39 here this morning.I said cool air not cold air.lol.
BTW,I started the meds last night and slept like a baby.I can take it twice a day but I don't think I will take another until bedtime.This stuff must be strong!!Man!!Well enjoy the day!
                  btdtbbbbbmacbbb and so on!
                        bmac