Stealing?

Hi everyone,
  I'm not sure if this is the place to come to but i've been reading over posts for a few hours now and decided to give it a shot.  A couple weeks ago my bottle of prescription percocet went missing.  I couldn't remember if I had left it on my car and maybe it fell out, or it was in my room and a moved it?  ANyway, I didn't really get too upset because I hadn't needed it. I had a lithotripsy done for kidney stones and received 60 percocet after the shock therapy.  The pain wasn't bad and I mentioned this to one of my closest friends. I went to visit my parents at their house and my mom was on the couch with one of her awful migraines.  She is always taking advil etc and i automatically offered her my percocet.  I looked in my purse, it's not there, in the car, not there, in my house, not there.  Yesterday, my friend came over to my house to watch a movie and put her purse on the stairs.  As i was walking down the stairs, my foot got caught on the strap and everything fell out.  I started picking it up and replacing it in the bag apologizing profusely.  She came over running saying she'd take care of it.  As i picked up the pills and casually asked what she was taking i glanced at the bottle and it had MY NAME ON IT!!!!!  I acted like i didn't see but i was so unnerved the rest of the time I started shaking.  She ended up leaving saying she forgot to lock the door.  I don't think she knows I saw what' on the bottle but i don't know what to do.? Did she steal it or did it just somehow get there? AM i crazy? Maybe she found them and forgot to tell me? But than wouldn't she have told me? Please help.  

[enemy48]

Plain & simple dear.  She stole it.  That what we do when we have a problem.

She will always be on the look-out for this type of meds.  She will steal from her family, friends and do the unthinkable if she is addicted.

[Beargizmo]

I'd call her up and confront her.  Tell her you saw them and you want them back.  We're talking a crime here.


Jim

[kimmiek]

Thats really a bummer.  I feel bad for you that you are in this crummy situation.  I think you should confront her, but I am a wimp and I dont know what I'd do if I were in that situation.  That really s@ck$!

[oneeagle]

My first question would be "How do you think that your script just "ended up in her purse?". You told her that you werent in much pain? Thats all it takes for an individual with a propensity to like narc's to rationalize that you dont need them (not in pain, remember?). But they DO need them. Take care of your meds if your friend stays around...or more will come up missing. The stories are legion - people that go to real estate open houses on weekends just to go medicine cabinet shopping...or outright armed robberies at pharmacies. Do not underestimate how far or depraved this situation can become.

[avisg]

sit her down , it was wrong but there is most likely a big problem here if she was willing to steal your pills . She needed her fix and she is justifying in her /his mind that you said you were not in much pain...sit her/him down tell her you want to help .....

[Addey]

I don't know...I guess I was hoping she might have found them and thats why they were in her purse.  The pills are not that big of a deal because I am way past my surgery and don't need them.  But I had no idea she was capable of this. I'm scared of talking to her.  I don't know what to say.  I don't know if she wanted them for her of for someone else...I don't know enough about addiction to say one way or the other...she does not seem like the type to take pills..she's in nursing school, has an amazing boyfriend who's already an RN and has a wonderful family...i am soo confused..

[dove3053]

Looks like your friend helped herself to your pills. Calm down. Shaking is not good.

Confront your friend. Stealing is bad, but from a friend makes it all the more disgusting.

Dove

[oneeagle]

That just why they call this new prescription mess a white collar addiction. It isnt the street junkies that are doing the prescription hydro and others. Its real people. Your childs teacher. Your attorney. And even your pro-medical people. Its totally non discriminatory as to race, education, intelligence, or social staus. As a friend you could ask her if there is a problem that you might be able to help her with. At this point it sounds to me that she would deny it - but you know that there is a prob. I would even mention it to RN boyfriend. He should have the finesse to keep you out of it and also be in a position to help her - before she decides to hit the hospital stash and ends up in jail.

[nogie1717]

You need to casually confront her.  The sooner the better.
Tell her that you saw your missing bottle when you were cleaning up her purse.
When you said she ran over and said, "I'll take care of that" it reminded me of all the times I would try to remove people from the area close to my stash.

Be kind.  It sounds like she has a problem.  Many people in the medical profession develop problems with pain meds b/c they are around them so much.

If you aren't worried about the pills, tell her that.  It will calm her down and hopefully get her to talk candidly about why she took them and maybe what the underlying problem might be.

[Addey]

thanks for all your advice.  I am going to confront her first. I don't really know what to say...I know you stole my pills?" Why'd you do it? Do you need help? ; I know she's going to get completely defensive. Anyway either way i'll try it.  I'm going over to her house in a few hours Then it's off to home depot to get some paint!! Yay! I"m painting the house inside today....i just bought a new condo and am so siked to make it look so cute!! I'll keep you all posted.  I am so grateful to have you all here! THanks a million.
                Addey

[troubleinohio]

i can say with much certainty that she stole them. I would let her know that you saw your bottle in her purse and see what she says. Maybe she needs a wake up call to get help for her addiction. good luck and keep us posted

[marcatj]

.. putting your head in the sand and telling yourself she didn't steal them will not help you in my opinion, to grow as a person.

if this is who she is, an addict or just a theif who wanted to get high (many people take perscriptions at open houses, etc.) you need to know.  ignoring a problem or an issue doesn't make it go away...

even if the truth is tough to take, it's better to have it.  so you can make sound decisions in your life. based on truth.

be strong...  good luck.

[Addey]

n

[IBKleen]

Addey, What does "n" mean???????????

[Addey]

oops..sorry...well I just got back from my friends and i finally confronted her.  My hands are still shaking so bad i can barely type. It was awful.  She somehow had a way of making me feel crazy.  And i kept stuttering cuz i didn't know how to approach her punches.  She denies taking the pills but admits to having a problem.  When I told her I saw my name on the bottle that fell out of her purse she said that it was impossible....I swear i'm not crazy...I DID SEE MY NAME!! We didn't really talk about options becuase I don't even know where to start as far as getting her help....any advice would be wonderful...Addey

[IBKleen]

Oh hun, I am so sorry. She needs help. It is sad, but unless she reaches out, she will not get it. She is probably at the beginning of a long addiction.

I just want you to understand, that you cannot force her, or make her get help. She has to WANT it. But, you did plant the seed. You did the right thing.

Listen, if nothing else, stay here and read through these posts. You will learn a lot.

It is late and I am so tired, so I am off to bed. Please post again. I would like to help in any way I can, and so would many others here.

Take care of yourself.

[enemy48]

Stealing from your friend is hard to admit.

I believe you when you say Your Name was on the bottle.

Well, at least she admitted that she has a problem.  Addicts are always on the look out for someone in tooth pain, back pain, or any pain where they know people may have these meds, and they can either swipe some, all, or ask if they don't need the pills anymore..

You never said if you saw both your name & the prescription you had.  Did you see both?  I think you must have, b/c what else would your name be on?  We all spot our names whenever seen it written anywhere.  You didn't imagine this.

If you're sure it was "the pills" & your name, I think your frind is too ashamed to admit that she stole from a trusted friend.

[LQQKThrewU]

How terrible a situation you are in, my thoughts to you. We addicts are liars,we do what we have to in order to get our fix. I also feel bad for her because she is probably not ready to deal with her addiction. Just know that none of this is your fault and what you did was right. Maybe write her a letter so she can read it and absorb the facts and the possibility of your understanding. It will be tough for her because it is hard for anyone to accept something like this. We make excuses and try to convince ourselves. Good luck and keep posting maybe you can suggest to her to come online and seek help.

[Mis Take]

Good for you for talking to her - she needs to hear it.  I just wanted to say, be careful and choose your words carefully when you talk to her next.  in my opinion and based on my experience, When she gets on the defensive - the drugs are the #1 priority (and your friendship becomes expendable).  You didn't say or I don't remember you saying how close the two of you  are.  If it is a valued friendship, just know that she will lie and steal to get what she needs and what her body must have (if she is to that point).  I learned during my detox and subsequent recovery (still there a year later and always will be) - that opiates take away the part of the brain that needs and wants intamacy (not sex but love, true frienship, deep and meaningful conversation and confiding in someone else.  The addict needs himself and the drug - that's it!!  IT's not personal, more chemical, I guess.  Anyway, Im telling you this so when you talk to her again or if you talk to her boyfriend that you know - she will run if she feels pressured or pushed into a corner.  She needs understanding (even if you dont) and not to be judged (even if you do).  She needs to feel like you care and want to help and mostly that you will keep her secret (for now) from anyone who could get in the way (even if you won't).  That is the only way I think she would open up and you will REALLY be able to help her.  Please let her know that there are options out there  - ones that are better than she thinks.  Then do some research - there are many options available and she can do this and has to in order to live normally and survive.  If she is to the stealing and lying point - I believe she is to the point of needing real help   I hope I didnt cross the line in telling you all of this - I would just hate for you to loose a good friend because of the words you chose.  I lost too many and even now - won't go back and fix those that are broken.  It is just too much work at this time.  Good luck with her and you - I'll be praying for her complete turnaround.
Miss Take

[mshell62]

It sounds like you take great pride in your new condominium.  Painting and fixing it up just right.  An addict will steal ANYTHING from someone.  If you have nice things, you may want to keep an eye on them.  Like it was said earlier, dont underestimate an addict.  And you sound super nice.  A great victim.  

But you are VERY SMART to look for some advice.  Good for you.  

Have fun with your condo!

[headies]

Denial then acceptance, she is definately going through the stages. Drugs are so bad it seems. Even the medical drugs, well especially those.

[addictedme]

I cant add anything to whats been said except that in most states its illegal to possess someoneone elses prescription bottle of pills so at least tell her to remove your name if she did it.

[marcatj]

hun you did great.... really great. it's a tough thing to do and you did, and good for you.

and addicts LIE.. there is so much shame in addiction, that it's very possible that's what was goin' on.

so... you can't fix or change her, only live your truth! and you did!!  so good for you..

and you are not crazy... she just sounds very smart... smart people have a way of turning things around.  so breathe honey.. you did great..

[marcatj]

hun you did great.... really great. it's a tough thing to do and you did, and good for you.

and addicts LIE.. there is so much shame in addiction, that it's very possible that's what was goin' on.

so... you can't fix or change her, only live your truth! and you did!!  so good for you..

and you are not crazy... she just sounds very smart... smart people have a way of turning things around.  so breathe honey.. you did great..

[road2recovery]

GREAT POST!!!!!  

[ellee_3]

denial and manipulation (in the form of attempting to turn the tables...just to name a few) is textbook.  

i know there are different schools of thought on how to handle this.  i'm currently doing some soul searching about dealing with my boyfriend who has a problem.  i real problem.  

he justifies his pills for his back.  he cannot justify the quantity (well over and above the rx) and the times he has snuck around to obtain when the rx runs out.  it makes me sick.  money that is supposed to go to shared bills goes missing and i have to pick up the slack.  

this is my first long term relationship after the end of my 20 yr marriage and i'm just thinking that i don't have it in me to deal with it.