Still "givin it the finger!"

[tropicalsoul]

Friday was to be my "cold turkey" day but I failed to meet that deadline.  While I do suffer from chronic pain I have tried several times in the past to quit these white devils but have failed each time.  Last week I came very close to my goal.  I was down to one tab a day, Wed & Thur, but Friday came and it was like the demons knew I was getting close and I cannot begin to tell you how "RACKED" with pain my body was.  I'm sure some of it was mental but I am here to tell you it was real.

I am also finding out that certain foods are causing inflamation in my body.  Sugar is the main culprit and if I eat anything that is high in refined sugar it almosts turns my lights out.  I'm not diabetic..I've been tested several times and also use a home glucose meter just to make sure.

Today was really bad as far as the pain goes.  For breakfast I decided to try one of those Ensure drinks and have paid for that since 7am today.  I drank that thing at 6:45am and at exactly 7am every inch of my body hurt.  My anxiety went through the roof and I could not hold a thought to save my soul.  I am amazed at how sugar is affecting me.  

Anyway....I've had 4 tabs today, 20mgs, which is not exactly where I want to be but I know I am closing in on this MOFO!  I'm finding out that I have more to deal with than just a drug addicition.  Now I have to eliminate sugar from my diet.  ANother fight ahead of me.  I start over tomorrow.

[corey411]

If you are able to control your pills like that you are more dependent than addicted. You are addicted physically but are not an addict so to speak. You may be able to do your own taper.

[corey411]

It sure doesn't. I had a 6 week dance with fentanyl and it was the worst wd I ever had. I would wd off of vics 3 x before Fentanyl. People on here will help you through this. There is a lot of support here. It is the weekend and not many are on during this time.

[tropicalsoul]

I am allergic to ibuprofen and asprin as well.  I've tried Neurontin, 7 different antidepressants and tramadol....I could not handle the side effects of those.  THis is how I wound up on opiates.  There are days that I really do need them.

I've been on norcos for the past 3 years and during that time I have never ran out early or called my doctor for an early refill.  He is actually amazed at that.  He and I both know that I am addicted...he likes to call it "dependent."  Either way....I dont like it and will keep trying.

I dont have anyone to help me with this which is making it quite difficult.  I guess what does not kill us will make us stronger.  I do see that I am making progress but just not as fast as I want.  I remember just 5 years ago when I was full of life and could eat anything I wanted.  Those days are long gone but I am willing to do ANYTHING to get those good feelings back.

What I find very odd is I actually had no problem kicking a fentanyl addiciton 2 years ago.  I decided one night that I was done and took off my 100mic patch, threw it in the trash and never looked back.  Yes...the next 2 weeks were pure hell but I stuck it out.  Something else is I never remember having cravings during that time.  I get 24 hours without a 5mg Norco tablet and I am climbing the walls.  Doesent make much sense.

[corey411]

Well good that you are still trying. Tapering is hard to do by yourself. Do you have anyone who can dole out your pills? Do you have any other meds that might help ease that pain? Ibuprophin, Neurontin depending on what your pain is from. During my detox...which was ct lots of times bc I kept relapsing....I felt all of this pain...in places I never had it. It will get real bad for awhile. This is very common but it wil ease up.
You sound very determined. Keep working on your recovery. Addiction is progressive and recovery can be as well. Good luck to you:o))