Still hanging in but...

[methmomof2]

Heres  the deal...I am moving out of my home state. That being said if w/d comes on full blown I will be in dire straits.  I will not be able to get a transfer unless I go to my clinic today and sign a release.  If I do go to the program I will have to be medicated.  I was going once a week.  I still have my take homes from last week.    Of course they will give me another week of take hones.  Anyway my question is if I drink the dose today and stop again will I be doing more harm than good?  

[EvolverU]

Hey!

               So, good to see you post..Hope the move went well. Cogratulations you're doing it!

                       God Bless

[methmomof2]

Hi everyone!!  day 13!  Still good still here still string still methadone free!!!!!

[jimi1822]

Prayers for a Safe trip =0) sitting here in Long Island NY in an Ambulance waiting for a call its snowing but the roads are clear. We did get about 4 inches in Smithtown now it is raining/snowing its 1:45. We just got a call got to go =0)

[VICourageous]

Hang tight...You can do this. I want to be able to follow your process.
We were writeing to each other did you not know I sent the darn snow over your way !

God Bless u always and forever...
vickie

[methmomof2]

Well I'm on my way!!  This will be the true test of how detoxed I really am.  Sitting in the backseat of an SUV with a very talkative 4 year old!!!

[methmomof2]

Hi everyone!  Day 8!!  I feel good!  MOVING DAY! Of course it's snowing here in NY but they say 1 to 3 inches which is nothing.  Still happy to be alive!  Can't wait to get out of this walk up apartment and into a house! Big change right now but a much better place. Happy feeling almost normal!  Boy did I skate thru this one! WHEW!! Still can't believe it!  Someone is watching over me!!  Thank you who ever you are!

[VICourageous]

WOW jimi GREAT JOB from one methedone to another. This gives us HOPE.....

God bless u whatever your higher power may be.....It works..
vickie

[jimi1822]

I've been clean since June 6th 1999 From 1997- 1999 was addicted/dependent to methadone. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step." ~ Confucius

[jimi1822]

Sounds to me like you have GOD, the Christ, your angels 0:) family and friends. Sounds like your a spiritual person as I am =0) I'm not religious in the formal sense but I am religious about my spirituality InDeed, I choose to attend services on sunday for me it's a personal thing =0) You have a lot of people helping you here on MH and that's a Good thing. I've been clean for 13 years I was addicted/dependent to Vicodin for 8 years 1992 - 1997 I was up to 80 tablets a day at the back end of my dependency I work in the medical field and they were easy for me to get as at the time I worked as a Cardiac Rehab Specialist for several Dr's. I put myself on a methadone program and it was the worst thing I could have done I was up to 100 mg of methadone a day I tried to stop cold turkey and ended up in the hospital for 63 days detoxing but it was a rough lesson that I jimi with an I needed. I now work as an EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) in NY and I love it =0) I start Paramedic school this Monday the 11th Stay Strong!!!! And Never, Never, Never Give Up!!!! Carry On with love, prayers and Strength From Above.

                                                          Prayers, Blessings, <3, and light. . . .

                                                                            jimi (lil wing =0)

[methmomof2]

Hello again  and thanks for the support!  I am so glad I found this sight not sure I would have made it through last night and today without it! I am really really REALLY at ease right now. I am  packed already have been for sometime.  Living out of a box right now!!

[clean_in_ks]

GOOD FOR YOU!!  You don't have to be "religious" to recognize that there is a power greater than you in this life......I'm so glad you are experiencing these blessings and new joys!
Leaving tomorrow, huh?  Well, what did you think about getting rid of the "take home" done you still have?  No need to "pack" it and "move" it, too since you are clean and sober, huh?

I'm really happy for you that your w/drawals haven't been as you expected them to be......just don't let your addict brain tell you that because it wasn't so bad....you can re-visit it again later, K?
And when you get to your "new nest"......intentionally hooking up with other recovering addicts is CRITICAL to your continued success.
Wishing you a safe and blessed road to recoveryville~

[VICourageous]

Hi I send back a PM and said the same thing clean ks said. It is alright I did the double posting once by clicking to many times...That is sooo sad you lost your hub wow I could not even image...Yes God works in is time but i know he does wait for us to come around..We learn from are experiences. I do the would of should of thing all the time. If I only new this or that I would of......I do have to have all my support it is soo important. I wake up with aches & pains and sometimes because of the snow thinking OHHH sh*t another day of no sun...I go to the meetings and get lifted right back up. Yes the mental thing will be with us for along time or even for ever. I have to stay away from all triggers, user friends, drama,stress I just have my new world and life. Now life will get tuff out there sometimes but that is why the after care is sooo important and we learn how to handle it with out running to the drugs/booze. My dogs are 10 yrs old and that one will be one of the toughest.. I still have my mom, dad, and step dad. Of course my Husband...I love this post here because I know they will all be there when things get tough....Anyway Hang in there..Yes do not have any drugs around because the lil ol tape in the brain will play back again and play tricks on you..
vickie

[methmomof2]

Hi  no worries no ofense taken. Thanks for the lesson.  I really had no idea how this whole thing worked!  Ok that being said  yes indeed you are getting it right  7 days today no real wd symptoms and right now I feel pretty damn good!!  There a strange forces at work here!
And I leave tomorrow!  I haven't felt this happy in a very long time!  My oldest daughter is my biggest fan right now she was getting daily updates from me and telling me that she believed in me.  That was such a boost! So again here I sit 7 days in and still can't understand why I got thru this so easily!!

[methmomof2]

Hello again   I know saw the double post! Feel like a knuckle head.   I did NOT go to my clinic and with the help of God and my daughter and my fellow recoveries I bekieve I will do this.  I am so in awe of not feeling like I want jump off a building just to end the pain.  I truly believe that someone or something very powerfull is helping me with this!   I am in no way a very religious person but this is making rethink a few things!
I lost my husband to herion when my 2 daughters were 7 & 5.  I had to move in with my parents at that point thats when I went on my biggest run!  I still don't know what I was thinking.  I had already been clean for a while! That run lasted for a few years on and off mostly on!  Even flatlined once and of course that didn't stop me!   Finally a friend that I would cop with talked me into going on a program with him.  That was well over 10 years ago.  Now here I am my girls are in their 20's and I have such guilt knowing that my girls could have ended up with no mother or father. .I guess the program worked for me in a sence or I may still have been out there!  But here I am feeling almost human again!!

[clean_in_ks]

Hey, Tess  Even tho I have zero methadone experience/history....wanted to share a couple of thoughts anyway...addict to addict.

First, you may not be familiar with how the forum works just yet, I know I certainly am still learning, but it's really important to post a question and then stick with that thread....that way people can follow you......respond to you as you post each hour or whenever.....right now, you've got 3 threads going all w/i hours of each other and it's hard to follow and help you that way....plus you will not have to go to 3 separate threads to see what everyone is saying.  Make sense?  Just trying to help if you weren't aware.

Do you still have methadone in your house?  The way I'm reading it you have a TOTAL of 7 days with ZERO methadone in your system?  Is that right?  No other drugs either?  If I read that right....YOU ARE DOING FABULOUS!!!

You have blessing upon blessing going on as I read it.  Your w/drawals have been manageable thus far.....you are geographically getting away from old triggers and your old clinic......that seems like a HUGE gift right now.  If I got all that correct......in your shoes......I'd get RID of the done and start packing...haha!   Moving to another state will give you a fresh start....it's SO hard to establish NEW anything, really......but when we are choosing to leave the life of addiction behind, sometimes life circumstances of moving to a NEW place helps us along......and in a sense, we are forced to do ALL things new.  We get to choose all the basics in our life with recovery as our goal.
I wish you well and hope I didn't misunderstand or offend you~  

[VICourageous]

Hi You are all over today aren't you. You can check out your other post and I returned pm....
Yes I would just stop now 7 days is Great. There is alot more to deal with too then just giving the drugs up.....
Hang in..
vickie

[methmomof2]

Hi  thanks for your answer and your support.  I think I was going into junkie mode this morning.  I woke up (yes managed to get some real sleep no help from anything)  feeling like I was just starting ti feel a little bad but now I feel better.  So glad I didn't drink any of my take home and I don't think I will be going to the ckinic either.  I truely don't want to turn back now.
Thanks again!!
Tess

[EvolverU]

Hi! me again I just read your earlier post about being asymptomatic. Wow! is that unusual! I doubt it's the calm before the storm. If you've gone seven days and if you did do a long taper it might be possible you won't go through the acute withdrawals. (The first time I was on a clinic when I was 18 or 19 I tapered down to five and skated off - didn't feel a thing but then I was only on for a year.) How soon do you move? Each day you don't feel WD's is stronger proof that you might be in the clear! Please let me know. It's pretty unusual. Wishing you all the best!

[EvolverU]

Hi! I totally feel for your quandry. I was on a clinic for 20 years. If you're already in withdrawals & you drink your dose, then , yes you'll have to start the WD's again. Is there anyway you can taper down?. I went from 120 to 28 before I walked off and did a step-down on Vic's & Sub.(Yech!) & I still went into full withdrawal. Can you take your take homes and split them? Do half or 2/3rds of one a day until the move is complete and then start your detox again in safety - away from your old clinic and clinic people? Do you have people around you to support you through this? Please, write me if you have any questions about symptom alleviation or just feel like talking. I only have 71 days off Methadone but I'm telling you -- YOU CAN DO this...There are lots of people on this site who have and have long sobriety records. I Gather strength from their posts. If you look back you'll see they all went through what you/we are going through and it gets better bit by bit. You deserve this. Keep coming back. If you fall, pick yourself up. WD's are natural --  we're healing. I'm with you...