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Still in withdrawal-but made that phone call
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Still in withdrawal-but made that phone call

Ugh, still feeling rough.  Did get some sleep BUT I phoned and made an appointment with a drug addiction councilor.  They do a group intake and ***** you there.  He corrected me that they were councilors not therapists whatever that means.  I said "well you're good, aren't you" and he just laughed.
Anyway, we shall see what happens.  They assess you and see if you need rehab.
Does anyone know if they will take you for rehab if you are clean?
Just wondering, not that I am gong to use to get into rehab but will I fall to the bottom of the list because I am clean.  My appointment is in one week.  Long way to go until then.
57 Comments Post a Comment
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4149717_tn?1389507161
I am so incredibly proud of you for making that call Pat! :)
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2218783_tn?1357574681
Thats Great news Pat very Important step into your recovery :)))
I am sure they will take you clean and one week will be here before you know it. Look at all the time that has pasted since you took your first pill. for me it was years and time gets away from us But you My friend are making important steps To make sure you are successful :)
The first call you make is the hardest Its like you are reaching out for the unknown and its scary . But Trust me you are helping yourself and I am proud of you .
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Avatar_m_tn
Hey Pat you did the right thing if you need something right away there is always N/A it has worked well for me............Gnarly
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Avatar_m_tn
That's awesome! Your definateley headed in the right direction. Just keep telling yourself that I will get better! I told myself that hundreds of times and still do it everyday. I'm on day 23 I think? Lol time is starting to speed back up and I can honestly say I feel better than I have in a long time. Keep fighting because it's worth it. Wishing you the best of luck and I'll keep you in my prayers!
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2107676_tn?1388977459
Well I got some really bad news and it freaked me out.  Employment Insurance has denied my claim because I was short 26 hours first they said 37 and I called back and it was 24.  All those days I called in sick relly kicked me in the a s s.  
I was so upset because I was counting on a lot of money coming in.
It would have been backdated from April.  Grrrrrrrrrrr
I cried and prayed and then made another phone call and someone is working on another option for me for my financial problems.
Please say a prayer for me.  I really need this.
Thanks so much
Oh and Just wanted to say if I was still using I would have just pulled the covers over my head and hid.
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2218783_tn?1357574681
sending you prayers Pat (((Hugs))))
Just breath It will all work out and You being clean and sober dealing with all this is going to be a Million times better. God does listen just put your faith in him and he will listen.
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2107676_tn?1388977459
why would they delete the word a s s e s s
OH I see lol.
Anyway a very, bad day.  Making lots of phone calls and trying to get help and answers but getting nowhere.
Does anyone have a match???  My insurance is up to date.
I just want to walk away from everything right now.  I don't like feeling this angry.
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Avatar_f_tn
The biggest thing is not giving up...Even when you feel like the world is against you. You have taken a big step in the right direction.
Alot of people go to rehab while clean, just so they dont relapse. I would go and take this opportunity and run with it. I hope everything works out for you. Let us know how it goes
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2107676_tn?1388977459
I will for sure mama.  Lots of great people here who have my back.
I'm just very frustrated and I was really counting on that money.  I actually had it promised to my mother as she has been helping me.
Don't know what I will say to her but she will be okay.  Just hate having to tell her.  Ughh. I thought this was going to be a good day and was so proud of making that first phone call.
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480448_tn?1403547723
As hard as it may be, try to focus on the positive aspects...be proud that you're taking the necessary steps to help yourself!  The money situation is certainly a tough one, we've pretty much all been there at some point...you just have to keep fighting.  Like you said, before, you would have taken a few pills and hid from your problems.  You're now facing them head on, and you should be proud of that.  

You are experiencing life stressors without being numb...that takes some getting used to!  It will get easier.  Just resign yourself to the fact that you've got some work to do...you've already started...just keep on pushing through.

You have my prayers.
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2107676_tn?1388977459
You are so right, life stressors without being numb!! It does take getting usedto.   I cried and cried and just wanted to fall apart but I didn't.  I didn't lose my mind when I thought I was going to.  I made some more phone calls and at least TRIED to deal with them.  We will see what happens.
Overwhelming yes,but I didn't lose it or take a pill.  Actually didn't even think about taking one.
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2218783_tn?1357574681
you are not getting nowhere Pat You are doing something and making the phone calls is something. Just Breath and remember stay focused on YOU and the rest will follow . But if you are clean and sober than the rest will be easier to deal with. Just concentrate on you and getting healthy. God does listen he hears your cries for help and he will help. Dont give up and dont let any of the stuff you cant change get you down. just Smile and say " Kuma Matata"  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6vLAa-kylM&feature=related
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2107676_tn?1388977459
Love that song and I will try it.
i feel very defeated right now but there is no way I am going to use.
That would only create more problems.
Thanks sweety
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495284_tn?1333897642
I see this as a very productive day.  First off you havent used, you made a call to the "counselor" and you have an appt.  Finance wise you hit a wall but are working on another option.  You havent thrown the covers over your head.  And lastly here, you are grumpy..Congrats on feeling again!!!!!!!!!!  
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2218783_tn?1357574681
Sara said it perfectly :)
Pat you got this My Friend You can get through today just today dont worry about tomorrow it will come. I am proud of you for making phone calls You are doing great!
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2107676_tn?1388977459
Well I am feeling, I feel almost, can I say it bitchy. Really bitchy. I hope that's a good thing.  grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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4341997_tn?1380655144
Pat you have shown me alot of strength just in the 3 days i've been talking to you.....you will get thru this too!!  we all will!  my legal problems prolly are just beginning but all i can do now is just focus on getting better right now and the rest will have to wait....hopefully  :)  you are doing great!!!!
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495284_tn?1333897642
The b!tch mode can be very productive!!  
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480448_tn?1403547723
The b!tch mode can be very productive!!   .

Sarah would know!!!!  ;0) (just teasing you love)

Bit**y is good, grumpy is good....numb and indifferent is bad.  I think you are doing great.  One day at a time...one hour at a time if need be!
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2107676_tn?1388977459
Thanks nursegirl
I have been a very passive person for a long time.  
Bitchy is great.  I wish those collecors would phone now.  Well it might not be a good thing but sheesh, let me at them.
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Avatar_f_tn
Yeah, these are all good things!  You can be a bit*h.....just not to me! :) Sounds like you're right on schedule!! LOL
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2107676_tn?1388977459
Yeah and the bad withdrawal waves are kicking in too.  I am about to scream.  You will probably hear me all the way from Canada.
Be afraid, be very afraid lol.  OUch...............
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284451_tn?1354974227
Hey Pat,
40 year old guy here and I have to say I felt "bitchy" too for a while. I was easily annoyed and sick of being tired and sick. The lack of sleep and being uncomfortable for so long just plain old gets to you. try to close your eyes and trust that this is the last time you will ever have to go through this. Every day you are getting closer to feeling better and stronger. I'm 2 months in and went through some horrible w/d's. Over a decade of abuse is getting farther and farther in my rearview mirror. You are all over this Pat. Your getting through the peak soon. One day at a time and be patient. I promise you, if this old warrior can get through this misery you can too. You will feel so much better with this behind you. Just don't ever take the first one. it won't make you feel any better.  Best of luck and let me know if I can help in any way.

Bad Co
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Avatar_f_tn
Good for you for making that call.  It takes guts.  I go in on this Thursday morning.  I gave then a really hard time.  I am seeing a young women just out of University.  When I asked if she had any experience, they said "yes, a couple Years", then I added, experience in taking pills right, and family breakdown and addictions and bankruptcy"  She has two years experience in that.....the answer was a big fat no.  But I guess I will take what I can get!!!
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2218783_tn?1357574681
I was a mean Ole b!tch I remember when my guy would come home from work and try and hug me I just wanted to punch him hard LOL Thank goodness I didnt but man I wanted to. i wanted to scream and yell fo sho!
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2107676_tn?1388977459
Thanks so much to both of you for your support.  It's been a bad day and I think I am going thru the worst of the withdrawals too.
Not feeling well at all and the waves of crap keep hitting.
Yup feeling very bitchy and angry.
Enough is enough.
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284451_tn?1354974227
Hot shower or bath, good uplifting music and water. but most of all patience Pat. It will get better. It really will.

I remember my bad days as lasting 100 hours. Then to lie in bed and sweat/freeze, ache, cry and try with all your might to sleep when it just isn't going to happen.

These horrible days will be part of the reason you will never touch this stuff again. It has to hurt, burn and scar you so never forget. I'm at a point where I'm starting to feel fine but my mind wants to minimize the agony I went through so I can have an excuse to use again, so I keep coming back here to be reminded why I can't. So thank you for the support to me. You are helping me to stay clean and sober by being a miserable biaaatch. Thank you.
Seriously. It too will pass.
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1579159_tn?1388706849
Hi sweet pat, I'm so very sorry your struggling, it hurts to feel again when we have been numb for so long. You have allot on your plate, just be easy on yourself. I'm am so darn proud of you Pat for making that phone call, you may not see it yet but you are getting stronger. You are tackling your addiction head on. Hang in there sweetie, it will get better. And yes rehab will take you even if your clean, when I went there were some there that were clean!  Put on your armor vest my friend!!!
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2107676_tn?1388977459
Thanks Dana
I made several phone calls today, trying to work on getting my life back.  We will see what happens.  I just wish some of them spoke English.  I am in Canada and I think I am phoning other countries by the sound of it.
It gave me a headache straining to understand what they were saying.
It must be tough on them too.
But geezzzzzz
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1416133_tn?1351126817
Soon you're going to have another day under your belt.  And the strength you're gaining each day will carry over into the next one.. and the next one.  And soon it won't be the first thing on your mind when you finally sleep and wake up and it won't be the last thing on your mind when you go to bed.

And soon you'll be doing things the way you used to do them, with a clear head, and you'll be focused and able to handle the other stresses as you need to.  One thing at a time, pat.  That's the only way this works.

All you have to do right now is get through TODAY.  (thinking this way takes the pressure off so you can focus on the detox and taking care of yourself).  The other stuff?  It will wait.
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2218783_tn?1357574681
you are doing great Pat :)))
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2107676_tn?1388977459
Thanks so much.  I am hoping to start to feel better tomorrow and go from there.  Time to start walking because I really need my energy back but that's tomorrow.  Right now I have to just focus on getting through the worst of the withdrawals. Ugh.  Moan.
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4149717_tn?1389507161
Your going to do it  this time Pat, I just know it! Your already doing SOOO many things different! Youve become one of my rocks who has helped to keep me anchored so I know you have what it takes!

Keep moving forward, Im proud of you!
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Avatar_f_tn
I am proud of you! :) We got this lady!
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Avatar_f_tn
It has been a productive day for you!  I've bee thinking about you and you're now into day 4 right?  That's good!

You know, ANGER is a great motivator and you're proving it! Do you have vitamins and all the good stuff in your arsenal?  The Vits, minerals, and amino acids REALLY help make you feel better...

This is the last time...right?
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2107676_tn?1388977459
I have vitamins coming out of my ears and I am taking them.  My sister is a rep for a vitamin company and when she found out I had fibromyalgia she brought me everything I need.  She even brough me swedish bitters but I'm too weak to get the bottle open.  I am struggling with the gatorade bottles.

Yes this is the last time.  Pat's finale.
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495284_tn?1333897642
Welcome to the b!tch club!!  We are always looking for new members!!  lol
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Avatar_f_tn
Who you calling "we" anyway?  Ain't me!!!! LOL

Pat's finale is what we're gonna call it!  You are doing the right things this time, and I'm gonna say a special prayer for you!  This CAN be the last time if you want it bad enough.  I think you do! : )
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2107676_tn?1388977459
bitchy bats?  
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3197167_tn?1348972206
You MADE the phone call (and lots of phone calls)  I SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!  Since everything little new thing we do clean is so difficult......we forget we are conquering!!  That mountain you talked about......each new thing is another step up!  I would wonder what was wrong with you if you weren't grouchy and b****y!  I STILL get that way.  I literally feel like I'm "losing it" at times.  But it passes......and I didn't use any pill to get thru it.
It's usually when I am doing something new and hit wall after wall after wall.  The elephant is sitting on my chest and I'm wondering when God will show up.  He seems to allow me feel overwhelmed until I stop and ASK for help.  And it also seems like He takes me to what feels like the "end" of the situational road or to my "edge" and then He shows me He loves me and KNOWS every tiny detail of my life.  He loves me so much and wants me to
trust Him.....not be afraid......hold on when I want to pout or w/me, more like shout!  And I do a lot of that, too.  My hubby is expecting this "b4 opiate" wife that was a little less emotional and not so easy to "tilt".  I'm not there yet!!!  But that's ok.....cause I'm not where I used to be either.
No prescriptions in this body at all now, and I WILL heal and be more in control of myself.  But I know I can't do it alone......
You help me, too, Pat......thank you for that!!  
Hugs~
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2107676_tn?1388977459
Yes I want it bad enough but I'm not stupid enough to know that I won't be tempted.  I want to be strong enough to resist that temptation.  I don't think I will be faced with any for awhile but I know it will come some day and I want to be able to say NO to it.  Just like I did last night when my dealer called.  I am going to hopefully learn how to say no and resist the temptations that we all face at times.
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4149717_tn?1389507161
I think Pat already had the bitchy part down...Im just sayin!!

hahaha Kidding doll :)
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495284_tn?1333897642
So you are saying she just added the "bat" at the end??!!!  lol
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4149717_tn?1389507161
LOL...Um, Maybe?? Possibly??  :)
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2083449_tn?1381358308
Well, it's about time the "old bat" showed up! The Belfry was getting kinda lonely!
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4149717_tn?1389507161
hahaha the "old bat" still makes me laugh! :)
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495284_tn?1333897642
Pat is going to see that you called her an old bat!!!!!!  lol
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2218783_tn?1357574681
good morning How are you doin lady?  I hope you got some sleep?
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480448_tn?1403547723
Oh boy....seems there are MANY bats in this belfry!


(runs.........)
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2107676_tn?1388977459
Wow, bunch of old bats showed up to highjack my thread while I was fast asleep.  
I am going to lose that old bat title if I keep sleeping at night.
I am gong to have to settle for just being a *****.
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2083449_tn?1381358308
Well, that's what happens when you try to sleep! No one is minding the "Bat Cave"! The old bats take over! Now, at least, the Queen Bat is back! Have a good day, Pat the Bat! Good grief, I am making myself sick!
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2107676_tn?1388977459
lmao, you are as batty as me.   Pat the Bat.  I have been called worse.  Kind of like that one.
Good grief, Kapow, Holy bat crap.
Have a great day.
Yup officially still a bat.
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2218783_tn?1357574681
you made it to another day Ms Pat the bat :)
everyday life will get a lil bit easier then before you know it things will just be good. and thats because you took the first step and I know you can get through this my friend Ride the waves baby! I am proud of you
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2107676_tn?1388977459
Oh wow, still feeling rough but have to go to the drug store.
I have been awake since 7am and it's now almost 11 am and I am still in bed.  Going to grab a boost and then try to get this body moving.  It's just screaming no.
Everything is so sore.  
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242912_tn?1402547092
Hey Pat, I don't know if you're able to take NSAID's, but just some Advil or Bufferin (which is a coated aspirin, Bufferin is a brand name), helps the aches a whole lot.
I also wanted to mention Valerian Root (maybe mentioned already?).  It won't necessarily help with sleep, but it definitely relaxes you and gives a break from that internal shaking if only for a few hours.  

Pulling for You!!  
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2218783_tn?1357574681
My sister started using this rub on cream she actually said she thought of me because I have bad arm and knee from accident she said its called "ARNICA" I was going to look into it today. Suppose to be great all natural stuff for body aches and aliments. I read about it online and it has great reviews
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2107676_tn?1388977459
Thanks to both of you
I just started Lyrica the day I quit the percs, I think.  It does take a couple of weeks to kick in so I am hoping this will get better.  I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and it is supposed to really help with that.
Just have to be patient and hoping so much that it works.
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