After shoulder surgery I have been on percocet. It recently came to my attention that 64 pills have been stolen. I have already met with my doctor, purchased a lock box - spoke with my husband, who is a recovering alcholic and cocaine user, and with my daughters boyfriend who currently lives with us. Do I have to do anything else?
emotion and logic or confusing me - my husband has not been communicating about the situation, he is very aware of the situation. He only talks about this when I bring it up or start my crying. I have not noticed any ultra out of the ordinary behavior from any one. Except, of course, from me - I continue to cry and have not only locked up all the medication but refuse to renew any prescriptions. The amount of fear I am feeling may be abnormal - the previous episodes with my husband were horrible - up to this point it was my belief that he had been sober for 5 years.
I would talk to everyone in the house. I mean- 64 pills is not just a few! That's the difference between being able to successfully manage your pain, or lay in bed all day cuz it hurts too much to get up. 64 pills is a BIG deal.
How long has this "boyfriend" been staying with you? Also, have you ever had a problem with your husband taking them?
Good job getting a lock box. I would hide it- most of them are pretty easy for someone who is halfway mechanically inclined to break into. And keep all of the keys on you.
To my knowledge, my daughters boyfriend is not known dor drug abuse. I truly understand about users being good at lying and avoiding situations - this became clear 5 years ago with my husband - that is why I am wondering if I need to do anything else - I would truly just like to move on - do nothing - now that they are locked away and not worry about this - however, I do not know if there is something I should do - please tell me what anyone recommends I do - any and all recommendations are greatly appreciated, or, in the alternative, I have done everything a responsible adult would have done.
With all due respect...I believe you need to get to the bottom of this.
Saying, "let’s just move on" is fine and dandy, and kinda follows the, "out of sight, out of mind" philosophy....however, someone in that house has an active drug addiction that, IMO needs to be dealt with!
I was afraid that this would become my responsibility to find out who has the problem. Here is the dilemna - according to my daughter who works at a local drug in house rehab center - the drug test will only prove use if the pills were taken within the last 48 to 72 hours - I found this out on Saturday and have had them with me until I purchased the lock box yesterday. I have been counting them and am positive that none have been taken since Saturday.. Therefore, what is next? I have confronted my husband and the boyfriend has been confronted and no one admits. I am truly at a loss of what I should do next - if someone admitted then getting to the bottom would be easy - aside from drug tests and conversations - what remains?
You have done all you can right now and you acted very responsible in getting that lock box. I know the doubts can weigh very heavily on you but if noone fesses up then you are going to be at a stand still with this. The truth may come out at some point. I wish i had better answers for you. All i know is you are a very responsible person and reacted to the situation in a healthy manner.
Well, I can tell you that when I used to "borrow" pills (okay..I stole them. Not proud of it now, but when someone is an addict, they don't think right) I would get enough to last me for a while. So, maybe 64 of them are missing since Saturday, but that may have been enough to last them for the week or something.
Aside from the pee testing, and talking with everyone, I'm not sure what else you could do about it. If you have a webcam, there are programs out there that will record when they pick up on movement. You could set up a little sting operation if you were so inclined to find out. And just a little suggestion here, but just the mention of drug testing to find out who did it may be enough to get an admission out of someone.
I understand your thinking about just wanting to move on.....but what concerns me about the situation, is what I said earlier. Someone in that house does have an active addiction....and they need help. The fact that they took soooo many pills from you says how bad thier addiction is.
well you are not a cop and can not just go around pee testing folks at random, now i do understand that its your home your pills, and it seems to me the honest ones would be more than willing to pee test for you therefore leaving only one to refuse and that prob be the guelty one. 64 pills is prob not one day use so therefore they might still be takin them and they might till be in system. I say request a drug test and pay attention to response from each person
i agree with alx 64 is alot of pills and chances are they are still takeing them get the tests put them on the table and get to the bottom of it. its not something you should just leave alone if someone has a problem better to know now then let it get worse. good luck
i'm not sure how your family members would feel about the drug test, but if u feel u can do that then do so.
Someone Definately has a problem!! You have 3 possibilities, husband, daughter or daughters b/f. you don't seem to mention your daughter much as a possibility, but as hard as it may be... she could be the one also. You just never know!
Please Please remember 1 thing. Whomever it may be... this is a very sensitive issue for them. They are in denial & they do not want to fess up due to alot of reasons including guilt, shame, dissapointment & knowing deep inside they have a problem.
This is why I have yet to tell my parents!!! And haven't told them that I was the one who stole some of my moms pain meds after surgery. The shame, guilt etc... I can't deal with it(yet) I don't know if i can handle that disappointment from them.
So, my advice, maybe try another 1-1 talk with each one. And tell them, that your not Mad that the pills are gone, stress that your not mad! But that your a little CoNcerNed!!! Try to stay away from any words of being mad or disappointed, this will only make the person want to hide from their problem more & not want to open up to you. Be supportive! Don't throw out rehab as a 1st thing. Just tell them that you want to understand, and your there for them. And that u don't want them to face their problems alone. Tell them that a big concern is the possibility of over-dosing & that u would rather know the truth than to let it go and have to bury them 1 day. That is harsh but a big possibility of reality! If whoever it is doesn't open up to u, tell them that its ok. That you are there for them no matter what & not goin to be mad or judge them and that when they are ready to talk- you will listen.
I suggest to either try to 1-1 with this or even make it a group discussion & tell them that u know 1 of the 3 had to take them & that the person who did it doesn't need to fess up now in front of everyone. But would like them to seek u out when they feel comfortable & remember to mention the above, your not mad, just concerned.
Good luck to you, also if u want to wait & try to "trap" the person so u know who it is, You could always wait until u are definately home alone with only 1 other house member. Then put a pill in a spot... like on the bathroom counter or something, not too noticeable but not too hidden. See if it comes up missing. When another house member comes home, put the pill away, so that u are only leaving 1 out when there is only u & 1 other person home. Or better yet... u could leave the bottle out like u forgot to lock it up, but only have say 20pills exactly in it & do same thing. Accidently leave it on your dresser or something then run to the store etc... knowing only 1 other person is home. Check to see if a couple are missing. Most pill mis-users will know better than to take the whole bottle, but will take a few & hope u don't notice.
Process of elimination.
ok one other thought that no one has mentioned is selling the pills, im not sure were ur from or the kind of strngth and type of pills taken were but as for street value on most pills is alot of mioney for pills so mayb they didnt take them at al mayb sold them for a good amount of money. just another thought.
Thank you for your response. My daughter is 19 weeks pregnant and works at a drug rehab - she appears to be very into her pregnancy and because of her job - drug testing is done randomly but often - I feel comfortable it is not her.
I like the idea posted of leaving some pills in the open and seeing if the pills are there later - I will try that this weekend.
Thank you to all who posted - your assistance is greatly appreciated. Wishing each and every one of you a wonderful weekend and happy times!
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