Strong feelings of Nostalgia

[chico1969]

This is a really strange one - I think it's all part of the depression and emotional confusion, but I can't stop thinking about the past.  It's even more than just thinking about it, it's like I'm reliving it - memories are haunting me - strange feelings from certain smells, movies from the 80's, music from that time period etc.  I guess I'm thinking about when things were so much easier before the pills.

Not that I've been doing oxy's for that long - just over 2 years (long enough) but it's really a strange feeling.  It was really strong first few days - now at day 7 it's kind of slowing down.  Wow, what a rollercoaster ride this week has been.  I've been laughing at times, crying a lot, and just overall weird haunted feeling.  Almost a feeling of grief, loss - am I grieving the loss of the pills???  That would be really sad.  That's the only way I can describe it.  Can anyone else relate to this??

[loveJwhite]

Ahh yes...I went through that big time! Looking at pictures of my son when was tiny and crying my heart out. Calling my sis and parents all the time just to see how they were, listening to music I hadn't listened to in years.....on and on I went. Got some really great cries out of it all. I think it is therapeutic to get the tears flowing....just means we are feeling again. Roll with it. Just roll with it. You're doing great!

[Ourdukes4ever]

Oh, I know it well.  Ah, the memories. When I was tapering, my daughter in law would put on music to clean the house as we always do. But I told her, don't put on anything PLEASE!... from the 50's 60's or even 70s. I could not take it, I would cry and it was hell.  But it's a know fact that "remembrances" come flooding back. It will pass and you will be normal again.  Just let it wash over you - in fact crying is good, it relieves the symptoms, at least it did for me, sometimes.  Don't worry, it's all ok.  It's ok to feel sad, you'll be fine again, you will get past those sucky sad feelings. I'm living proof.

[chronicmistake]

I like the idea of the goodbye letter to my DOC. I am sure I will cry while writting that one.  Maybe that will help decrease my anxiety.  I feel like I am so anxious and I am going to explode.  I used to calm those emotions by stuffing them with pills, now I have to go for a run or bike ride.  I always feel better after.  Today I went running and sat by myself where no one could see me and just cried.  Did not know where or what the emotions were about.  I guess it is the highs and lows of the first couple of weeks?

[gnarly_1]

HI .....well your at the stage where your an emotional roller coaster with both highs and lows
its ok to reminisce about our past just be really careful to not start to romance the high
relapse start days ahead of time and often by that very thing...when you think about your addiction paint a true picture of how it was living in active addiction....it should be an ugly picture one of runnig out of pills going without...the drain on finances getting busted
and all the rest of the stuff that goes along with using....it is important to have that picture handy when you start to think about the pills and more so the high....keep your guard up
addiction will bring you down any chance it gets....so watch those old memory's they can be dangerous................Gnarly      

[dominosarah]

What you are feeling is normal and yes you are grieving over the loss of the pills.  I wrote a goodbye letter to my DOC.  It was really hard to do but i felt so much better after i did.  I would wait on someone in the drive thru and at times i could smell their air freshners and it took me back to good places and bad places.  You will be able to identify these the longer you are clean.  You are starting to feel again and that is a really good thing!!       sara

[janet19]

My Nostalgia is getting high and reliving some of my drug days. It is sort of depressing thinking I won't be doing that again.

I think you are just thinking with a clear head and remembering maybe some good things. Leave the pills out of it. I think of nostalgia from earlier than 2 yrs.

you are doing great stick with it. Your life is just beginning again. Enjoy the new out with the old.