I see that a lot of you guys have posted about Suboxone. Maybe I should have done some research on it but you guys seem to be in the NO as it were. I took Suboxone for around 18 months, coming off sucked but got through it after about a month with the shakes and so on. Well I did good for about 4 months now I am back on the pills again and just beyond fed up with myself and everything else, very disappointed. My question(s) are this:
Did I take Suboxone long enough?
Am i the only one who messed up anybody else mess up and finally get it right?
Which is better Sub or Methadone?
I hated going to that particular dr. as it looked like a place where everybody came to get pain med's. Kind of a shotty set up. The whole time I was on Sub I felt like I was replacing one habit for another and felt like a Junky.
This is my second post on here I wish I found you guys earlier I might have gone through with all of this mess and been successful, like I am in my career and family. I Just cannot get me figured out!!
One of the main reasons people relapse after coming off subs is because they didn't do enough work (or any) on their recovery while on the subs. If all you did was take the subs, and not work on your aftercare (therapy, NA/AA meetings, etc)....then you didn't really start your recovery program. Subs should only be used as one TOOL in recovery...it doesn't fix the problems as I'm sure you know.
You may not have found a very good clinic...that's another issue. Too many lousy sub docs out there. If you were in a good clinic, therapy would have been a requirement, and you would have been encouraged to work your aftercare.
One of the best things the sub doc I worked for would say to people is..."the sub is a crutch, it will help you to walk, but you need to learn to walk again on your own" VERY true.
So, if you come to the conclusion that you didn't really work on yourself and explore your addiction issues while on sub, then that's your answer and likely while you relapsed. THAT is what you need to change, whether you decide to go back on subs, or not. I would not recommend methadone personally. What are you using and how much?
You are absolutely correct, I did not do any therapy nor was it required. I don't know that I will do anything as the whole experience wasn't the best.
That is in regard to the clinic. Now all of my failures are on ME and ME alone. I should have put the necessary work into my recovery. I have a job that requires me to travel 3-4 weeks a month and I usually entertain accounts when I am out. Trips and dinners and drinking and everything that entails.
I am taking Tramadols daily and when I am out of that I take anything I can get my hands on usually around 10 loratabs a day. A few oxes but I don't really like them they make me feel weird. It will get worse before it gets better. I think I will take a week off and tough it out.
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