Suicidal thoughts, emotional rollercoaster when quitting

How did you all get through the Emotional side effects when quitting? It seems that everytime I am without oxy's I get really really really horrible suicidal thoughts and have enough anxiety in me to actually go through with it. I know this is very personal for me to speak about. I just want to know that I am not the only one who has been through this??

[rxqueen67]

please, someone. im crying because I don't think I can do it.

[Calamity2]

No you're not the only one. I wrote the word suicide all the time . But I didn't really want to die. I just couldn't keep living the way I was.  I asked God to help me. He really did and I spent every waking moment on this forum (almost 2 years ago)  with all the support I needed. I  never thought I would make it.  But I did.  My pain is managed fairly well with motrin and other over the counter meds that I was insulted at the mention of. Because I had REAL pain.  My pain is real but the pain of using almost killed me. Give yourself a chance Queen.  Love You!!!      I'm praying for you now.

[mama23babies]

That's what I am going through. I know that I wouldn't do it b/c of my kids, but it's scary to think that way. It will get better for us. Just stay positive

[todd247]

For those of you that can get some serious exercise do it. I can't think of a better stress reliever. It also speeds up the recovery I would think. Any thoughts on this?

[corey411]

Suicidal thoughts are never anything that you should take lightly....esp. with drug addiction. Many people have the" thoughts" and that alone is something we should be getting professional help for. If these thoughts persist or if you start thinking of how you would do it get help now. With every relapse I had the suicidal thoughts got worse and the last time it scared the @#%$ out of me. I was in such a black hole and could not get myself out. It is a very scary thing. Please talk to someone. Keep posting and reaching out. This is where addiction ends if we don't end it first....jails, institutions and death. Addiction is progressive and keeps getting harder. If your not succeeding you need to get all of the help that you can.Please let me know if I can help you in anyway and honey please call a doctor or go to the ER if these thoughts begin to overtake you. I hope you are not alone. God bless, Corey

[mama23babies]

What did you do when you had the sucidal thoughts? Meds? Therapy? What helped?

[Cissy373]

I felt those thoughts only because I was so sick of taking the pills and thought there was no way out............but there is.

Hang in there ok..........YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!

Cissy

[NautyOne]

The same thing happened to me during my taper.  The sleep deprivation was sooo freakin hard for me!!!  Your post is digging up some real scary memories.  I had suicidal thoughts, and one night, .......ugh....I have never told anyone this.....My husband was no support for me at all.  He was pretty brutal on me during that time and one night I took 30 tylenol pm's hoping I would not wake up.  My liver was not happy, for sure, but I did wake up and I am grateful I did.  I would never do that again......but, too late is too late.......Please talk to someone!!! PLEASE>>>>>>

I am so sorry you are going through this.  I do know how you feel.  We are all here for you, and don't want anything to happen to you.  Oxy is not worth your precious life.  It's a dammmmmmm  Pilllllllll  I hate those B*******

Stay with us.....we need you here.  Your on a journey with a huge prize at the end.....YOU........If it gets real bad.  Call a suicide hotline.....its anonymous ..

~~hugs~~

Nauty............

[rxqueen67]

Thank you all of you. I relapsed due to the thoughts, but I plan on quitting CT once all my pills are gone, which will be next week. I am taking anti depressants along with the oxy, I feel like its cancelling out the antidepressant effects. Hopefully one day things will look up... I will try to find the strength to call a counselor for help.... Thank you all again.. im really glad to know that I am not the only one who has had these thoughts while coming off of the drugs.

[NautyOne]

Hey, hun.......

It's okay.  If your not ready ...you won't succeed.  I don't know what difference it will be between now and when your pills run out, but I do understand....I really do.

I truly wish you all the best.  We will all be here when your Ready.

Luv,
Nauty..........

[outotown]

NEVER SAY NEVER, no one wants to die, but sometimes the pain weather emotional or phs, is so bad you dont want to live, Suiside is selfish, and cowerdly, I know frist hand. It can destroy your loved ones, I have said I would never do it, but I tried, and if you only knew where i was now, I think about it everyday, have it planed out, and dead set on it, I can only lose everything in life once, and now im losing it again, so I have 2 very special people in my life that I talk 2 everyday, we talk about nothing they are just friends who are there, and a friend will make you feel worth living just by being a friend. If you dont have someone like that stay on here, all day everyday, after you hit bottom there is only 1 place left to go UP, so hang in there, You can and will survive, I take it one min. at a time

[10356]

I agree many feel this way.. but I would suggest counseling along with your detox.. you have had things go on that many would need counseling for then add the roller coaster of drug detox and wham.. My lil brother committed suicide and I can tell you first hand the ones left behind are devastated and forever left with questions that can drive them to seek therapy.. really not worth it as it is such a permanent solution.. I wish you the best and Congratulations on wanting to get your life back.. You would not be fighting so hard if you really wanted to check out and for this I'm grateful !! Please use the number to suicide hot line 1-800-784-2433 and if this number does not show on the screen it is 1-800 suicide just speak with someone and continue to reach out for support and know many care.. warmly lesa

[tweekie]

Heh, I know how you feel. I suffer from depression too and substance abuse. However I know I'm truly depressed because I was off drugs, meds for 3 1/2 years and I started showing symptoms of depression, anxiety, and finally bipolar type 2 hypomania. If you have a depression problem that you were medicating with pills its even worse to come off of. Maybe you need to go inpatient where they can moniter you and make sure you don't try anything harmful while you're detoxing.

[rxqueen67]

thank you all for the support. I am taking it one day at a time. I know we all can get through it, and some have even made it! I admire those who are clean and doing well emotionally, and I am so encouraged to be DONE with this. Today is another day of my taper, I didn't sleep at all last night, and my 2 year old is screaming in my face so I must go. But I will post again later to let you all know how I am doing.

[123456m]

I agree with Tweekie. First you know your a addict and have a history of using Meth, Opiates etc and your on a fairly strong AD med plus benzos and opiates.
All of that is counter productive. The strongest drug wins which is the opiates that are masking the help of your AD meds. The opiates will mask everything so you will just be lost not knowing where your body and mind are as far as your brain chemistry. Your really need to just come clean off the opiates and go through 4 or 5 pretty uncomfortable days and then let the AD med kick in and help you its really that simple. Just do it and get it over with and try not to think about it. Right now its like using those wax patches for hair removal. Instead of rpping off the patch fast your just slowly trying to lift the patch off inch by inch and its very painful that way.
My best for you
Peace

[avisg]

ohhhhhh hun I so understand my is not from wd but its still deep depression that you swear you you will never get out of but you can and you do the sun does come out again.Try to concentrate how great things will be in a few weeks