Support

I usually do not make to much of a fuss when I'm craving but right now I want to get obliterated.. I know I will not but I do not know what to do with these emotions. gary looked as if he had a heart attack last night. for a moment my son and I thought him dead.. we took him to the emergency where we left feeling pretty good that ha was going to be ok, I just called to find when I can pick him up but was informed they took him for a 2nd cat-scan and may be admitting him.I have so much fear and emotions in me I do not know what to do with them. I do not know what I'm looking for writing this but if you Pray Please do our send a good thought his way for he is a wonderful man.. Thank you lesa

[liscamdave]

lesa, I haven't talked to you in so long, but I know you are strong and you will get through it. You know you will too. Hang in there, occupy yourself. You know the drill...

We are here for you...

Lisa

[laurel453]

i know how much you mean for each other and i can feel how much worried you are now...i know and feel how much you love him and how much he loves you and cares for you, use this love to believe in yourself and in him and that everything will be all right, Lesa ... i am not explaining well but feel him , breath with him, send the best of you to him through your thoughts, tell him  that he will be all right and believe in yourself, you have your own self to go through this, you don't need anything else but you...by believing in yourself , you believe in him... don't ever give up thinking and believing the best,  i trust and believe that everything will be all right, Lesa . My dear friend, i wish i could be there with you .... it is not possible with my presence but i am with you now and sending the best all the way...

[10356]

Thank you so much.. You have no idea how much your words mean to me.. gary was making taco shells and said he felt dizzy and his shoulder was burning. he sat down and his head went back and his arms and hands started to bounce rapidly then he started making these snorting noises. I hit him on the chest a few times and bent him forward. when I did this there was nothing. no resistance no breath This is when we though he had died.. I pushed him back upright hit him again and he started to make the same noises.. then started to come around, he has no memory of this. they already did a cat-scan and said it looked good now they are taking him for another.. I'm just so scared for him.. for myself and family..

[gnarly_1]

HI Lisa....im sorry to here about Gary.....its no fun when they dont know whats wrong
you supported me wile Josh was in the hospital I will do the same for you my prayers go out to you and your family I will pray that they figure it out and that he has a quick recovery
hang in there and keep us up to date your friend Mark

[laurel453]

of course you are scared... but don't lose the faith and the fight on you, my friend

[10356]

Thank you again from my heart.. I have dealt with many deaths with many illnesses but I'm falling apart right now.. I will keep you informed for you all are as family and I adore each and every one of you.. Your prayers are appreciated Mark...

[10356]

I do not think I have ever been so scared Laurel Not even when I lost my memory's with that od.. I have to stay sober for I do not think I could deal with this high..

[LeaAnn807]

Lesa, I'm praying for you and Gary!  I'm craving today too, so I can completely relate. Hang in there. Remember to take one minute at a time, and don't get overwhelmed!

[laurel453]

you will stay sober, Lesa... don't ever doubt it and whenever you feel this fear, think of love, the love you have inside you and send it to gary, don't have second thoughts now, just pure love to him... i am doing the same right now with you :) sending the best!

[10356]

This is part of the problem I feel so Overwhelmed.. I have been with him for 30 years I can not imagine a moment that he is not in my life.. damn I resent being a addict and thinking of myself during this time but I have to stay sober so I write.. You all are such a Big help to me I so appreciate it..

[corey411]

Lesa!!! I am so sorry for you and Gary. I can imagine how worried you are. Gary is in the right place right now and he will be OK. I will be thinking about you both and sending good thoughts and wishes your way.  Gary is an awesome man and you know how I feel about you both. Please let us know how things are going. You know I'm a phonecall away if you need to talk. Love you both, Corey

[10356]

Thank you Corey I can not quit crying.. my optimism is not with me today and I do not think you would understand a word I say on the phone.. You are right Gary is a awesome man.. I love you too.

[laurel453]

you are not thinking of yourself... you are scared, don't beat yourself, clean yourself of any bad thoughts, those that make you feel scared now...find a beautiful thought you can repeat and send to him, make it your mantra during these days...and stay busy... it is good that you are writing here, yes, you have to stay sober and say to yourself that you WILL stay sober

[corey411]

Lesa, This can be symptoms of so many treatable things. Please think positive. You are not being selfish. This is feelings created by your love for your husband. You will see...he is going to be OK. Keep telling yourself that.

[10356]

Thank you Laurel I have been saying that from the moment I opened my eyes.. I got on here first thing as I do not trust myself alone.. O just woke up and Deb is on her way.. i will get through this clean and Have my husband back home. I send you the warmest and most grateful hugs.

[FassFeat]

Lesa, You and Gary are in my prayers... now and future. God Bless. Andrew

[beatingthis]

Lesa,

My sweet Lesa. It will be OK. He needs you now, straight. I know how close you two are.
I am just so sorry you and Gary have to go through this. My warmest hugs and thoughts and prayers coming your way.

Tons of love and support,

Terry

[10356]

Thank you Terry, Andrew, all of you. I send my love back and so appreciate the support.. I thought it would be better to write here terry for repeating it over I do not think I have in me. He will be OK He has to be....

[vicki595]

Leesa~  Would you feel better if you were with him there?  Please know you and Gary are in my prayers, also!  

Keep posting...your friends are here for you,Sweetie!

[10356]

Thank you Vicki.. we are getting ready to go back now. Gary was feeling overwhelmed with us there so we left him for the night.. Yes I will feel better when I can see him and touch him.. Thank you very much for your prayers..

[beatingthis]

No problem. I just wanted you yo know I was thinking of you both.

T

[IBKleen]

Lesa, I didn't read what everyone wrote. I just got on. You have every right to be scared, it is a valid emotion. Feel it, just don't use.

Hopefully you are on your way. Please, please let us know what is going on when you get home. Know that you are being watched over.

[narla]

Hi Lesa,I just got on and saw your post,my prayers are with you and Gary,like everyone has said it's ok to be scared,but you need to be there for Gary and your son,how is he coping,you'll get through this and we'll all be here if you need to talk or just vent,
Take Care and big hugs coming your way  

[addict3]

My thoughts and prayers are sent your way.

I wish you and your family the best.

[dominosarah]

Lesa i just got on here and saw this.  I am sending prayers to you Gary and your family.  I know this is overwhelming for you but you will get thru this sober and clean.  You will find that strength you have.  Please keep us posted when you can.  love and hugs to you my friend~~~~sara

[Punkinhead75]

Thanks for reaching out and sharing.  You are showing us to go through this stuff and stay sober.  My thoughts and prayers are with you guys.  God Bless!!!

[10356]

Thank you so much Everybody ! Gary is home :) I fed him dinner and he is relaxing in his easy chair.. I'm still clean but emotionally spent.. His test all came out normal for his age. they think what happened is he was working on O's transmission all day with him and did not bring down his water jug.. when he came up he took a hot shower and took a Motrin and had a glass of red wine then started to make taco shells. they think the combination of dehydration the opening of blood vessels that the shower/wine and motrin cause with dehydration and the heat in the kitchen got him. They had a fancy name for it but I can not recall it.. They said it is not unusual but he will be seeing his regular Dr. as he gets tremors from time to time with low blood pressure..
I can not convey my gratitude for your Prayers well wishes and the good thoughts that were sent our way...
It really bought home the point of how fragile life is and how fast it can be snuffed out.. The image of such a strong man that has always been my rock reduced to such a helpless state will never leave my conscious and I Pray I never take him for granted, for in that split moment I felt what he must of felt when I was deep into my active addiction.. How will I continue without him.. Thank you again I truly appreciate you taking the time to pass your well wishes along to us. warmly and with much respect.. lesa

[Punkinhead75]

Glad to hear things are good.  Take care and get some rest.  God Bless!!

[corey411]

Awesome Lesa:o))

[beatingthis]

I so glad he is alright!!! I have been waiting to see if you would post when you got home.
Make sure Gary does see the doctor. ! Whew I was so worried.
I can sleep now.

Take care and keep us informed,


Tons of love,

Terry

[coalson_aj]

Hey look I know how you feel I really do there are times that I feel I have been pushed and pushed and pushed to the point of no return but then I remember why I got clean in the first place and for a couple hours of distorted emotions I knoe it is not worth it. You remember why you got clean look at your son and know he needs you by his side clean and sober whatever the outcome. You are truely in my thoughts and prayers.

                                                           Lots of love, and Good Luck.
              Stay strong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Angel.................

[dominosarah]

Oh lesa i am so happy he is home and okay.  I know you are still shook up but try and relax now.  Take a warm bath, curl up in bed and use that Kindle you got.  Give Gary a big hug from me!!          sara

[laurel453]

and from me :)

so happy that you are all together at home and that it seems something that can be kept under control with care...

Hurrah, Lesa :)

[Cissy373]

Glad to know he is home and I will pray for you both. I think life just throws us trigger's to throw us off course so to speak, but boy we have to be stronger than most when these times happen.

I am craving too and mercy I now know what people on here meant when they said getting clean is easy, but staying clean is the hard part..........thats why we all need after care of some kind.

Anyway many support you........so hang in there.

Cissy

[narla]

It's great to hear Gary is back home,and doing well,now you need to try and relax and unwind,you've come through this clean,congratulations,