Take my last dose...

tonight at 9pm, then go to the pharm to pick up my Subutex, then hit the dr to take it.  
I'm having a lot of emotions.... I mean I know I'm ready to stop but am I ready to stop?  I can't wit for this roller coaster ride to be over but will I miss the feeling??
I have to hit more meetings, get a little more honest with my old AA sponsor and get ready to FEEL again!!
I plan ontaking Steph's advice to NOT be on it for more than 3 weeks TOPS.  I think I can handle a couple of days of sweats....... at least I know there is a GIANT light at the end of this tunnel.
Anyway, Hapy Fourth!!  I am going on the terrace to watch the sun go down over the ocean and then I will be looking to my left where I can see the entire Manhattan skyline and all the Macy's fireworks in all their glory!
Be safe everyone!!

[Gypsygirl66]

That;s fantastic, I'll be looking for update's on your progress. I'm so proud of you. Keep strong my friend you can do this,
I'm soooo jealous of you it's been a few years since I've seen the fireworks in the city, there's no other like them in the world.
Happy 4th
Gypsy

[LIZZIE LOU]

sounds like a plan...a good plan.

you are ready...you WILL make it ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

keep focused and dont look back...just forward...grab hold sweetie and dont let go.

huggs,
kim

[wickedwanderer]

Congrats on your decision to take this step!!  You can do this...stay positive.  It's scarey in the beginning but you will start to realize you don't need these things!

[mom2rachie]

Thanks everyone.  There ae a lot of mixed emotions.  And wouldn't you know it, I think god stepped i, cause I took my last 3 perc 10 mg and I got sick to my stomach!  hahahahah Figures!
I just want to get things done yo know?  I'm not asking for much.  I'm looking forward to being productive again.  Yeah, I get by, BUT, I don't produce anything. I wear a crown for my home town of procrastinationville.  Have you been there?  It's pretty slow paced!!  HA HA HA!  
I want to be me again and I've forgotten how that feels.
I'm willing to go through some discomfort for a few days when I'm off of it to know that I'm OFF of it!!
The naighborhoo drunks are starting their fireworks.  I'll be on later.
Iwill post as soon as I get home tomorrow morning.
Gyps.. are you ok???
Lizzie, I have yet to respond to your email about your son but I have a lot to say to you from the prescpective of a mother, alcoholic herself, wife of an alcoholic, daughter of an alcoholic and daughter of a mothr who is extremely active in Al a Non so look for it.... it's coming!  

[road2recovery]

I am so proud of you...I will be praying for you..i will not be far behind you..i think in two weeks i will be released and i have already found a doc here that does sub..Just have to make the call ....Steph doing it then you, gives me hope..i too, want to be off of this rollercoaster ride...I want my like back..the last 3 yrs have felt like 30....I don't think i could of done it if i didn't find this forum.........
GIRL----you can do this!!!! keep us posted, as we will pray for you
R2R

[fishmeal]

Yes, stay positive and remember nothing is set in granite.  If you need it you can go a little longer on it but I do believe FLaddict's way is the best... I kind of took the wimpy way and went back on for longer... I am also having external litigation issues that are hard and didn't want to suffer that and having to come off so quick.... GOOD LUCK AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU!
Fish