Taper advice /redirecting mind

Tapering down N then off of percs. Please don't advise me to go CT. My dr and I agree that due to other health issues and personal reasons tapering is best. My problem is I have good days where I'm strong minded and stick to it. I only take the right number of pills and other days I just don't think about anything but the pills. I dropped from 2-3 pills at a time , whenever I felt like it to 1 1/2 ever 4 hours or try eery 4. I keep telling my husband to take the pills w him to work and he forgets. I dropped a few weeks ago from almost 18-20 pills a day down to 11-12.   So long story short, what do I do to redirect my mind when I want a pill? I'm seeing a substance abuse therapist next week.  I've gone to a few NA meetings but honestly feel odd being there while still taking. Any advice wld be great. I want this more then anything. I've got two amazing kids and I am sick of needing these pills to live. Please don't post anything judgmental or critical. I'm very sad and depressed over this. Thanks

[mellie4]

You're in the right place.  No one is going to judge you or be critical.  You and your doctor know best how to get off the pills.  It does sound like you need someone to help you monitor your pills, though.  Just take things a minute at a time.  Post here as often as you need to.  You definitely can do this.

[vicki595]

You need to do everything you can to distract yourself. This is why it's so difficult to taper.
Someone needs to monitor your intake and you need to be accountable to someone. Once you get going with recovery care,it will get easier.    
This is not about being strong. This is knowing and believing you just can't take pills anymore. The sooner you put them down,the better it will go for you.
What to do right now?  Know that you will have cravings. Accept it as part of your life now. Look right at that craving and fight back!  Don't feed into that craving...go outside and walk fast for a few minutes. A craving doesn't usually last very long so you should be able to ignore it and breathe through it.
One thing that works well,I think,is to learn something new. It doesn't matter if it's a card game!  Once we begin to force our brains to work,we learn and create new pathways. The new pathways don't include addiction or the remnants of addiction.
You've done great getting down to 11-12 per day. That's a big accomplishment! You'll feel emotional and frustrated for a few days but know that it's normal.
Just  keep pushing through and keep posting!

[dede2121]

i just feel whatever works for you, do it. as far as your husband forgetting the pills, i would put them in his car at night and then when he leaves he will have them but leaving enough for you to get thru the day. the good thing is you have talked to your doctor about tapering. and i do agree with others find something to do. Boredom is a big issue with me. if i am not busy for whatever reason my mind wanders back to the pills. there are days when i hated to leave work because of going home and having nothing to do.
you have tapered down quite a bit so keep it up and soon you will be down to 1 or 2 a day and then nothing. who knows by the time you get down to 1 or 2 you may even think, what the heck, why bother with just a couple.
good luck to you.

[gnarly_1]

HI.....I know just how hard it is to taper ....I was on methadone for 6 1/2yrs I did the taper off it in 1/2 the time but it still took 8 1/2 mo ....tapering takes a lot of discipline more then most addicts have......you absolutely cannot yo /yo your dose up and down because you feel dope sick you just have to stick it out... the withdrawals can be managed one successful member used envelopes putting only her daily dose in  ....when it was gone it was gone this system might help you follow your doctors orders and you will be fine just know tapering off them will come with its share of discomforts the lower the dose the more the brain/body wants them
many of our members have detoxed this way  keep posting for support this may take a month or so to get done but it is doable good luck and God bless.....Gnarly

[cleaninitup]

I choose to do about a 6 week taper off of vics and it is hard. Toward the end I was actually forgetting that it was time to take one ect and decided to go ct at 2 a day. It takes alot of self control if you have the pills in your possesion and you need to either stick to it or do what dede suggested with putting them in his car.You will make it through this!!!! And there are alot of people on here that will help and support you!!!! Heather

[GMcp]

walk with your kids, go to the park, sit down and have play time and convos with them, you know that i know it is hard, but if i did it well so can you, i crave all day the past 3 days and it stinks but the more busy i am the better it feels so you can do it, keep up with the plan your doc gave you and go at'er! my hubby forgot some days too and it was hard not to eat them, but i got mad and told him how important it was to take them and he did, just express to your man how important it is he remembers... mine was leaving me one on my night stand in the am and then after work he would give me another until i was good, so dont worry it will get easier cuz once you taper down and there gone you cant easily get more from a doctor, and idk if u n e thing like me but i sure as hell aint gona go looking on the streets 4 them

[Eebb26]

Thanks 4 all the advice & support. I def think I need to get busy. It's getting expensive though. Everytime I go out  to the store I spend a hundred bucks here, hundred bucks there. Trading one addiction for another. I made the change from 15-20 down to 10-12 w out a prob cuz I scared myself to death. But now I've been stuck at 10-11 a day for over a week. Every day I day I'm going to go down to 9,8,7,& so on. EVERYDAY ! My pcp dr didn't really give me a plan to taper just said start cutting back slowly every few days. When I tell my mind I can do it, I know I can and I'm so proud of myself, then an hour passes and all I dio Is think PILLS!!  I go on here ALot to help me get occupied and see how great everyone is doing. I just am so scared and want this to be over and pert of me doesn't want to ever stop. How damn stupid is that. ? Scared to death I'm going to die yet I keep doing it, then 20 min later I feel so guilty. I don't blame the medical community. I feel we make these choices. Just like I wldnt sue the tobacco companies because they warn you. These mess state' may become addictive' do. not take more then recommended dose. I didn't listen. Stupid stupid stupid. When I was taking 1-2 at night for back spasms I thought I had a problem.

[GMcp]

i spend to much money too, i always have unless im high for months at a time actually saved alota money the past 6 months lol it totally is another addiction to blind the other.

[Eebb26]

Do u really think once I get down to 2 a day(ever) I won't even want them? I pray that wld happen. I hate wanting them. Hate it I tell u! I am a bariatric patient. ( had bypass surgery to make my stomach smaller) anyway it was to mostly loose wieght that I battled up n down w for years but it was a cure for my diabetes. I did it to save my life and be around for my daughter and have another baby(which I did) so wtf is wrong w me that I'm killing myself now. I changed old habits and a entire way of life to live longer and I'm destroying that.

[gnarly_1]

HI first  off you have to understand the pills are not the  problem....there only a symptom of a much biger problem addiction......as addicts we need to change the very way we think to live in recovery....trust me getting clean will be the ez part.....staying that way will take a lifetime of work if you have been following this forum for any amount of time you notice we really push hard on people to accept the fact your going to have to treat the addiction with aftercare....this is not optional unless you like detoxing every few mo/yrs addiction is baffling cunning and will bring you down any chance it gets.....take time to become pro/active in your recovery....I know this is a lot to grasp a hold of early on but it is critical to long term sobriety....your addiction wont just go away because you quit using pills....you will still think like an addict....N/A or A/A are often recommended there free and the 12 step programs work if you work them wile in the mist of withdrawals you could find much support and encouragement at a N/A meeting you can also hook up with like minded people....people who have been there and know what your going threw......just go and sit threw a few meetings your not required to speek ....but you will learn much from listening hang in there work your taper....do the envelope system so you only take what your suppose to and no more post often for support we all want to see you succeed good luck and God bless......Gnarly    

[Eebb26]

Once again u r wise and make me feel like I'm speaking to my buddah king ! Lol. I actually just did the envelopes and even wrote things on there to inspire me or perhaps make me think b4 opening another envelope for just one pill here or one pill there. I wrote thongs like my kids names. I love my husband, I miss my dad, Ur family needs u....... I'm hoping that helps and I can do it. Let me ask you, have u ever had any expieience w any of the otter aftercare programs there'd out there besides NA? I ask because I went to a few NA mtgs but disagree that it's not religious. I know it's about using whatever ur higher power is but I just don't know if it's for me. I'm not being judgmental but I just wanted anoter opinion. Thanks again.

[gnarly_1]

HI and yes I use several forms of aftercare.....it was 6yr ago that I started to attend n/a and a/a after taking my first breathalyzer test....I past it but it was only because I came home early that night I was feeling a bit under the weather.....I blew a .06 but if they would have drew my blood they would have found 150mg of methadone several soma pills and ebnoughf weed to tranquilize a horse.....I new I waas given a second chance so I set the booze the weed and everything else recreational down.....it took me a few more yrs of living in denile to give up the methadone ....I started to see a substance abuse conslor a yr b/4 I quit the methadone it took that long to convince me I had a problem...its been over 2 yrs now and I still see him weekly
for my methadone addiction it has been a better fit for the problem today I got 558 days clean from that so my conslor works also....from what I can tell you dont believe in God....im not here to shove him down your throat but my church and personal relationship with Jesus has made my sobriety possible when nothing else worked the main thing is to find somewhere you fit in and plug in and work it there is pills anomus and several other self help groups out there the main thing is to not try and go it alone it almost always ends in failure ...I hope I dident offend you with my beliefs in God if so im sorry but to not mention it
wouldn't be fair I rely alot on him good luck and God bless......Gnarly

[Eebb26]

Thank you. I actually am a religious person and do believe in g-d, however I feel ( personally ) that I'm going to get thru this w support from my family and being strong and fighting this addiction face to face. I hope I didn't offend you.  Regardless of what one believes. , it has to be what and who you are doing it for. If someone wants to quit drinking for their greyhound , so be it. I'm not here to debate religion or WHAT or WHAT NOT I believe is going to give me strength. I just was curious if anyone had tried the other options besides NA?  Thanks again

[hellc@mst]

Its not true that "going it alone almost always ends in failure". There is compelling evidence which states that "going it alone" can be extremely productive for some people.

The NIAAA’s 2001-2002 National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions interviewed over 43,000 people. Using the criteria for alcohol dependence found in the DSM-IV, they found:

“About 75 percent of persons who recover from alcohol dependence do so without seeking any kind of help, including specialty alcohol (rehab) programs and AA. Only 13 percent of people with alcohol dependence ever receive specialty alcohol treatment

And....

"There is a high rate of recovery among alcoholics and addicts, treated and untreated. According to one estimate, heroin addicts break the habit in an average of 11 years. Another estimate is that at least 50% of alcoholics eventually free themselves although only 10% are ever treated. One recent study found that 80% of all alcoholics who recover for a year or more do so on their own, some after being unsuccessfully treated. When a group of these self-treated alcoholics was interviewed, 57% said they simply decided that alcohol was bad for them. Twenty-nine percent said health problems, frightening experiences, accidents, or blackouts persuaded them to quit. Others used such phrases as “Things were building up” or “I was sick and tired of it.” Support from a husband or wife was important in sustaining the resolution.”
Treatment of Drug Abuse and Addiction — Part III, The Harvard Mental Health Letter, Volume 12, Number 4, October 1995, page 3.

The above citations aren't my "opinion", they are published facts which have been compiled by credible organisations subject to critical peer review.

Kind regards Jeremy.(ex addict) 3 years 6 months drug and alcohol free.