Taper question

[Fisherman5]

Hi Everyone,  

I've been reading through a few of these different forums,  and I'm taken back by how much everyone sticks their neck out to help each other.  Pretty amazing when you think about it....

Anyway my question is about tapering off vicidon...I've been taking 4 5/500 vicidons a day for months now.  At first I would try to justify me taking them with back pain,  but truth be told I just like the way they make me feel.  I don't want to worry about getting more pills anymore,  or try to hide the fact that I take them.  Is tapering off needed for this amount of vicidon?  Really I don't even feel much when I take them anymore besides first thing in the morning when I take one.  

This will be the second time I've stopped taking them...It's hard to stop when they're so readily available with everyone in my family taking them.  

I'll also add that I've had bad anxiety off and on for years.  I felt so proud when I was finally off all anxiety meds including xanax....I'm afraid that if I quit taking vicidons I'll end up back with really bad anxiety and just switch from one med to another.  

[Fisherman5]

Thanks everyone i feel a ton better... Still have some anxiety but its manageable.  I wish you all the best in overcoming your addictions.

A special thanks to Ann.  You helped me a ton when I felt helpless.  The only way I can think to repay you is to help anyone I can with a kind ear and helping hand.  I wish you all the best.

[Fisherman5]

Is kidney pain normal with wd

[Ann2497]

That is good that the xanax helps you. My anxiety was definitely revved up during early WD.

[Fisherman5]

opps I mean xanax helps with anxiety.

[Fisherman5]

Yea the xanax really helps with vicidon...They wanted me to go back onto anti depressent for anxiety,  but I hate the way they make me feel.  I also did great for a long time with nothing no vic's and no xanax.  I hope its just the withdrawls from vic's.... I've been holding back taking a xanax all day but I'm about ready to take one.

[Ann2497]

I really feel for you.  WDs bring out tears in many of us.  The pills numb our emotions and we start to feel again.

The xanax should help with the anxiety.  Does it?  My anxiety really got better by week 2 off of vicodin.

[Fisherman5]

Yea without the anxiety I would be fine... I've been holding back tears all day... I just don't want my anxiety to ever get bad again

[Ann2497]

Besides the anxiety it sounds like you are doing pretty good (not that the anxiety isn't hard to deal with).

[Fisherman5]

Yea last one I took was 8 am yesterday

[Ann2497]

So you are off the vicodin for now?

[Fisherman5]

A few xanax for panic and ride it out...

[Ann2497]

Let us know what they suggest.

[Fisherman5]

Anxious and really emotional... I'm at the doc now.  I think its my anxiety more than my vicidon use.

[Ann2497]

How are you feeling today?

[Fisherman5]

Only took the xanax last night and no vicidon so I'm coming up on 24 hours

[Fisherman5]

Wonder if u would be better taking a xanax instead of vics and just quit ct

[Fisherman5]

Three months I think maybe a bit more...now I feel like the vics are causing my anxiety.  I've only had one pill today and its four o clock in the afternoon... I took one at 8 am.

[Ann2497]

Anxiety just *****.  It is one of the worst things ever.  I find that taking a shower helps.  Eating something healthy.  Since you have had it a long time you probably already have some good ideas on how to cope with it.  I also talk myself thru it.  Take deep breaths try to think of calming thoughts.

Have you thought of taking anxiety medication that is less addictive and not as strong?  Just a thought.  Not sure if you want to be off all meds no matter how low a dose or non-addictive.

How many months have you been taking the Vicodin?  You have been taking it every day correct?  I ask for a reason.

[Fisherman5]

Haven't told her anything yet...Hopefully she won't notice since I'm tapering down and I'm not really taking a high dose.  I'm actually wondering if the hazey feeling I have is not my anxiety acting up again......It's really hard to explain how wierd I feel when my anxiety is bad.

[Ann2497]

So did you decide that you will tell everyone that you have the "flu"?

[Fisherman5]

I decided to taper....I had three pills yesterday and will today too.

I do live with my girlfriend...I doubt it has anything to do with me only taking one less pill yesterday,  but I did feel really distant from her.  She's so black and white with just about everything I don't think she'd understand this...I know that my anxiety scares her too,  and she had second thoughts about moving in with me because of it.  I told her I doubted the anxiety would ever reach the level it did years ago with me basically not being able to function for a few months,  but it still understandably scared her.... I just can't let her see a kink in the armor,  and I especially can't let the boys see a kink in the armor.  My oldest son really looks up to me and it would break my heart for him to think he's dads doing drugs.  

On the bright side I know I'm making the right choice in stopping and have my dad that I can talk to about it.  He actually has the pills for me to taper and will only give me however many a day is scheduled in the taper.  I actually picked up his pills for him yesterday...Just knowing that I had 60 10mg vic's and didn't think about taking one and brought them straight to my dad is progress.  Before I would have taken 5 or 6 without telling him....Very embarassing just typing that,  much less coming clean to him about it yesterday.

[littlebit667]

Vicki, isn't that the tranquilizer suggestion in the TR??  If not, I have been wrong.  Thought it was a trank.

[vicki595]

I didn't see a benzo suggestion in the Thomas Recipe. Is it the one that's in the Health Pages?

[Ann2497]

Just thought of something.  It doesn't matter if your girlfriend lives with your or not.  You can get the "flu" and that will explain any crankiness or illness that you may have.  Who could get mad at anyone for being cranky when they have the flu?