Tapering off methadone clinic

[Joey2113]

Hello
I'm new here and have been reading many ppl's expierences with addiction and first and foremost I just want to thank everyone for sharing their stories, they truly are inspirational. I have been a heavy opiate addict for quite a few years, 5 yrs on the street and then 3 and 1/2 at the methadone clinic. I have recently decided that I am ready to get off the clinic and start a new chapter in my life. This is not a decision I took lightly and while I believe methadone had a hand in saving my life, overall the drug makes me feel crappy. Lol, that the only way I can explain it! The worst of it being the weight gain. Ugh. I am a 5'1 female and have always been slender, I currently weigh in at 195lbs, not ok! My highest dose was 105mgs. Today I am at 17mgs. The process has for the most part been pretty painless to this point. I just started getting debilitating headaches all day/night. I just went out and bought a ton of vitamins so hopefully that will help?? Has anyone else had this issue while tapering? If so, what helped? Advil etc, does not touch them! I was also wondering if anyone else w a similar story lost weight after coming off methadone? Last question- I was only going to my clinic 1x/weekly bc I earned take homes. They just took all I my bottles bc they said I was on "too low" of a dose?! All my tox/UA's are clean still. Has anyone ever heard of this? The going everyday again is going to be the hardest part for me. I feel like my clinic is making a hard situation even harder.
Sorry for being so long winded. I appreciate any help.
Thanks!

[Lilly1955]

I kicked methadone at 12.5 on 9-2-14. Then I kicked OxyContin and Valium on 9-26-14. I couldn't tell you which was harder. I do know that it will get easier over time. I am still struggling but I go to one or two NA meetings a day. My DR gave me clonidine to help with the methadone withdrawals. It is a blood pressure medicine and now I am having a hard time with it cause I used it since August . Make sure you follow up with a Dr who knows about withdrawals, they can help. Careful not to go to regular Dr like I did, they are not trained to really know how to help. Try another NA meeting. The only requirement is a desire to stop using. You don't have to be clean to attend. I will pray you recover quickly.

[JayFive]

exercise!

[gnarly_1]

Hi  I also wanted to add I got thoes auful headackes to they do pass with time  lay down in a dark room with a cool washcloth on your forhead it will help   also get your B/P checked it goies up wile detoxing vision also goes bad and for me that caused the headackes they will go away you just have to push threw them....Gnarly

[VICourageous]

Hi..I too was on the Methadone that was prescribed to me for about 12 years. When I came clean I just jumped when I got down to 30mg. However it is way better to taper a bit. I also was snorting it with street Adderral to get that old Crank buzz and then I would take a Benzo at night..I c/t all 3 and YES I had some bad headaches for awhile..It seemed like each week to month was a new stage that I could physically feel..Like even the lower back pain went away after I got most of the toxins out. These meds all hit our Brain and unbalance alot of hormones, chems, and transmitters, thus making us get a slight headache as the brain is trying to heal. As the Brain heals it will also send some cross singles to the body. In my 6 month I had that Bad and my Dr explained what was going on..It did take me over a good year or two to finally start to come around in my Brain. I think this had to do with using off  on since I was 14 and I came clean at 56 a couple of years ago..SO just know that it will take TIME & with TIME we must have PATIENCE. Try to just except the changes as they come..It will get better but it will take some time..Good luck and I wish you the best..Make sure you take the Magnesium, Potassium and Calcium with Ds at night too..These help relax the muscles.
Bless

[IBKleen]

I am so sorry that you had a bad experience at a meeting. And to be honest, that is the way it is at every meeting. The reason being it got to the point where all of the Suboxone folks---and there are lots of them--were coming in and saying they were clean. It got to be where there were more of them than the people who were clean. So they put an end to it. Not to persuade you and any way and surely not to hurt you, I have to agree with them. I was on Suboxone and did not count my clean time until the first day I did not take a pill. And yes, they do let people in that are using and all screwed up (sadly) but they ask that they listen and not speak. I also understand that. I have seen people high going off on some tangent while they were falling out of the chair slurring their words. So there has to be some sort of order.

So the deal is you are welcome to go, just don't celebrate or announce your clean time. If you feel youa re clean then that is fine. Whatever works for you. I would love to see you continue to go to meetings and listen to the message. You will learn a lot just be listening.

I think you are a good person lady and I am behind you 110%. I want to see you do everything to get to end of the road and off the methadone so you can start living your life. Listen to the members here that have been through what youa re going through. Stick around honey.

[Joey2113]

Thanks weaver....that's great advice. In hindsight I prolly shouldn't have said anything about being on methadone but going in I figured an addict is an addict and everyone's story is different even tho we all share a lot in common with each other. I guess you have to play politics everywhere. I def not opposed to NA/AA and will give it another try...as soon as I feel like I can move! Like you, I was very deceptive towards everyone. I used for years with out a single person knowing, esp my husband. Not something I'm proud of but it's the truth. I guess I was looking for a breath of fresh air in telling the truth at NA. But like you said it's not if you tell the truth but who you tell it to that matters. I do have an amazing councelor at my clinic who I love, she has been a tremendous help. I'm just gonna try to get through today and worry about tomo when it comes. This **** ***** but it's a means to an end and there's light at the end of the tunnel!!

[weaver71]

Yeah, I used subs to get off high dose street methadone, but I found a sponsor, before I talked about the subs. I only told about 5 people I used subs to get off methadone, starting with my sponsor and a friend, the rest I shared after I finished my sub taper. I felt like I was being manipulative, which is part of my addiction symptoms I wanted to leave behind. Fact is, I would be dead without haven taken subs, no doubt in my mind. I can't explain that to a house wife who stopped her wine drinking, without any physical withdrawals. I could share it with my iv cocaine addict sponsor though. I didn't feel the need to share all my inventory with everyone, the big book says, "Share it with another human being." I didn't even share all my inventory with one person, I shared with those who I felt would understand or would encourage me. Anywho, I just decided that my recovery is MY recovery, though I do need to spill my beans, I don't think there is a set way I have to do that. I don't have to share everything with everyone. Once I did tell everyone I was on subs, after I finished, I had 3 people walk up to me, in private, to ask for help getting off subs and a few more trying to kick other opiates. Find your people, it's hard enough for a married couple to get along, much less every single person in an AA/NA meeting. The anti drug alcoholics who judged me, they are becoming the minority. In the end, I realized most everyone in my little town has had a run in with opiates. Some it was family, others it was personal experience, but even the old timers had surgeries that lead them to understand that addiction is addiction and recovery is recovery. Whether it be drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, video games, the addict thought process is the same. And you are right, the only requirement for 12 step membership is the desire to stop using. Often meetings will ask you not to speak, until you are totally clean, which I do understand. We had some drunk people come to meetings and talk in circles the whole time. Methadone and suboxone are controversial drugs, so I opted to share only with my sponsor and a few close friends at first. I figured if deception was my central issue, then I was doing it wrong, if getting clean was my central issue, then I was doing it the best way I knew how. Keep on going to meetings, choose friends wisely and with patience. That's my opinion anyway. I live in a town of 4000 people, everyone knows everyone, so it was a particular obstacle to find who to be friends with in recovery. With time, I have found a whole new set of friends and way of seeing my world. Keep on searching, you will find what you are looking for.

[Joey2113]

Hi
Ty for your help, again it really does make me feel better hearing from ppl that have not only done this but  have been successful. I actually just picked up the cal/mag/zinc. This is day 2 taking them, hopefully I'll notice a difference soon. The headaches are awful tho! Wow. As I said before I'm on 17mgs. As of now my taper is 3mgs every 2 weeks. Do you think I should slow it down now that I'm below 20? Or do you think it would help to do 1&1/2 every week instead of 3 bi-weekly? It would be the same amount just not such a big drop at once? How fast did you do it?

[Joey2113]

Thanks again for responding. Ya know, I was going to NA for awhile and really enjoying the meetings and the ppl until they found out I was on methadone. Apparently that's not considered "clean" to them?! And I am not NA bashing by any means and I'm not saying that's the expierence everyone else will have but it was my expierence. I kept going tho. The day I stopped going is when a woman came up to me after a meeting and told me that I shouldn't share my clean time while on methadone bc I'm still using opiates. I thought you were welcome in those meetings no matter what you were doing, **** even if you're high as a kite you should still be welcome. I do live in a small town in upstate NY so the meetings here are small and always consist of the same ppl...I don't nessisarily disagree that taking methadone is just substituting one for another but in my case that's the only thing that worked at that point in my life and I refuse to be ashamed. Maybe if I travel to a meeting a little further away I'll find more open minded ppl? Or even an AA meeting, they're all the same message right? You are SO right tho, my husband is going to get sick of me always complaining about the same issues over and over. Esp when he has to pick up the slack! He is a very understanding man and super supportive but a person can only take so much. As far as my kids seeing me sick, that's a tough one for me. Both of my parents were heavy drug users and I saw a lot of things growing up that I didn't need to. I can't help but want to protect mine from that. But you're also right in that aspect too. I should use my life experiences as lessons for them, it's a hard thing to do tho bc I naturally want to shelter them.
Thanks again for responding, this really does help.

[gnarly_1]

Hi....I  detoxed off 150 after 8 and 1/2 months of tapering your at 17mg thats great but as you can see it does not hold you over...right now get up to walmart and pick up a 3 in 1 vitamin calcium/magnesum/zinc this crap drains your system of these 3 key vitamins there 6 bucks take 4 with breakfast and 4 with dinner this will greatly reduce the withdrawals it is harder to go from 20 to 5 then from 105 to 20 you have to go slow or the withdrawals will get unbearable the vitamins will help they do take a few days to work  it is not so much the severity of the symptoms but the long recovery that makes this crap hard to get off of...my wife was also a big supporter of me  but with ''normies'' you get that ''deer in the headlight stair'' they just dont get it no mater how they try I highly recamend N/A to you you will be around people that understand what your going threw and have a safe place to share your feelings so google N/A meetings in your area keep posting here for support we all want to see you get clean.......Gnarly

[weaver71]

All you symptoms I Had, even the headache. It sounds totally on track to me, since you are down below 20mgs. For me and many I have met, day 5-7 is the peak of withdrawal, so 5 days rehab wouldn't do much, imo. I do understand hiding your addiction, must of us tried to hide from somebody, I am glad my kids saw me go through methadone detox. If you ask them if they will take a drug, even if a doctor prescribes it, they will say, "Only if it was a last resort for a major problem." Anyway, just wanted to share that.

If you family is your only support, I would suggest you go to NA, church, therapies, or somewhere you can talk about the emotional detox that will come after the physical detox. My family got sick of me talking about all the emotional issues I was experiencing, so it was good to have other support to talk with, Holding it in won't work, or I haven't seen it work for anyone. Most of us need more than just the immediate family for support. If you play the flu card, it may be a month long flu, maybe not have any major symptoms at all, every body is different. If you are dependent on hiding to succeed, the pressure will make it much harder, again, just my opinion. Keep us posted.

[Joey2113]

Thanks again! I have not been in touch with any old "friends" for a LONG time. I pretty much stick to myself. ESP at the clinic, I get in and get out and get on my way. I'm very family orientated. My husband and boys are everything to me and are my biggest supporters. Well my husband is anyways, my boys have no idea what I'm going through and id like to keep it that way. Which brings up another question I have. To anyone whose detoxed off of methadone do you think it would be best to go into a detox/rehab for a bit after my last dose at the clinic? It's really important to me that my kids don't see me very physically sick from withdrawl. I'm not talking a long time, 5 days maybe? Or do you think it will be barable enough to do at home and pass off as the flu? Originally I thought I'd get by without having to take any time off from work but I've had a few really rough days and now I'm not so sure that's possible. I still have a bad headache, not quite as bad as yesterday but ya know, it's early! I woke up this morning and both of my eyes were swollen twice their normal size. I think it's from the god awful headaches. Someone pls tell me if this normal so I can stop thinking I have a brain tumor. Starting with the stomach cramps, nothing too bad tho. Runny nose, lots of yawning etc...still sleeping pretty good at night tho which I am so thankful for!! I've started taking Melatonin which I think helps me w the sleep.
Anyways- I hope you have a wonderful day and thanks again for just being there, I'm sure you know how much talking to other ppl who understand what your going through helps!  Ttys.

[IBKleen]

I feel for you sweetie. I don't know about the headaches. I have a pm into one of our members that knows a lot about methadone. He will be on later. Hopefully he can give you some insight and maybe even an idea about what to do. Hang tight till he comes on.

You took the words right out of my mouth "Set yourself up for success". If youa re in touch in any way with old "friends"..lose them. Change your number if you have to. You have so, so far to get clean once and for all. Relapse is NOT an option..right? I don't know if you are involved in any aftercare but that is a must. You cannot do this alone. It is a "we" thing, not an "I" thing. Coming on here is great but you need some real life type of aftercare. You need to get to the root of your issues and you need to gather tools to prevent old behaviors. You have to fill up that tool box and use it. We can talk more about that but right now I am concerned with those headaches. I don't hear it very often,,if at all so this is new to me. OK darlin, stick around.

[Joey2113]

Hi
I am as ok as I can be I guess. These headaches are a b**ch! Nothing I do seems to take the edge off of it. It literally hurts to blink my eyes! Does anyone know how long they last? Kinda blindsided by this. As an opiate addict I've been sick many times w all the "normal" wd symptoms but never migraines such as these. Maybe it's different w the methadone? I will NOT relapse, that's not an option for me but w working a full time job and being a mom for 2 little boys I'm kinda scared about how I'm going to get through the busy days w headaches like this. I guess all I can do is hang tough. I never thought it was going to be easy, but it's always different in the moment. I might talk w the clinic doc about slowing down my taper a bit bc my dose is so low now, it's just so hard w the end in sight. Have to be patient tho and set myself up for success the best I can.
Thanks again for all your support.

[IBKleen]

Let us know you are okay Joey. I am worried about you with those headaches. You hang in there honey and keep checking back. More members will come on and talk with you.

[weaver71]

Creating a new self makes total sense. Folks want to take back the hands of time, but this addiction is part of what sculpted me. The old me lead me into addiction. So, I have to create something totally new, not go back. I think that feeling is what shows you are ready for this. Don't take drugs, it's time to try something new. Hang in there and keep marching on, it will be so worth the worst of it.

[Joey2113]

Thanks for the advise w the supps. I actually went out last night and bought all the ones you named except the Emergen C, but did get B-12 & B-6. I started them today. Hopefully after a few days of them this god awful headache will subside? Jeez, I've never felt anything like this! It's so hard as an addict to not immediately want to take something to numb the pain, physical or emotional. I feel like I have to learn how to be a human being all over again, if that makes sense?

[Joey2113]

Thank you so much for your kind words! I agree, I am ready to actually live life instead of just maintaining. Sorry to be so sort n sweet but the headache I have now is mind blowing :-( I really am so thankful for the advise tho-

[NeverAgain127]

Hi honey.   You've made such a good decision.  I never took methadone but I was on oxycodone for EIGHT years.  8 yrs!!!!!  My doctor happily wrote out the script every month, and I complied...like some trained dog.  I don't know why it took me this long to wake up and say "WTF?   I HATE this.  The listlessness...constantly feeling itchy, nauseous, and definitely constipated.   Chasing the script..find a pharmacy that even STOCKED oxycodone.

Today is day 31 for me.  I feel a lot better than I did at day 7 or 14, but I'm still not me.  My pulse is rapid ALL the time (I was so used to it being really slow when I was on opiates.)  My tummy is not right, and my energy level is low.

It's SO weird to wake up and if I have a headache, I just have to deal with it.  NO pill to reach for.  NO instant relief.  

I have a massage therapist coming once a week to deal with the intense back pain that I was originally taking the oxy for.  

Aftercare is SO important. People here harped about it and I didn't realize the importance, but it is essential.  Without some sort of PLAN---being online meetings, in-person meetings (AA or NA or anything else!) talking and talking about it, you will eventually drift back to a life dependent on drugs.  I know I would.  My own doctor said to me (in response to me wailing to him about how bad my back pain was again) "well, you can always go back on opiates."  

I nearly fell off my chair when he said that.   I literally yelled "NOOOOOO!" at him.    I don't think I have another recovery in me.   This past month has felt like 6 months at boot camp.  

I tried going out with my husband Saturday...just to an antique store...I couldn't do it.  I was jittery, fits of coughing and sneezing, my stomach hurt. I felt so badly, but well..I'm over 50 and I took opiates a long, long time. Really strong opiates.

So I guess my message to you is:  be read for the long haul.  But it's worth it.  It's gotta be worth it. I keep telling myself that I'm doing the right thing.  

Sorry I can't give you any tips about methadone, but hey, addiction is addiction.  We're all in the same boat, so hop on board honey!

Keep posting!

[weaver71]

Often times, people need to slow down the taper, below 20mgs. Cal/Mag/zinc 4 with breakfast and 4 with dinner help with cramps and RLS. Amino acid shakes help healing time and help some with symptoms. EmergenC will keep electrolytes up and provide some b vits and other goodies. A multivitamin is a good addiction for a healing body as well. I would start some supps now and through detox, if you can. Eat real clean and keep moving through the whole process. It is common to start having some of your symptoms just below 20 mgs. Congrats on your progress so far, you seem to be right on track.

[Joey2113]

Thanks for the welcome!
I appreciate you taking the time to respond so quickly. I will be patient, I know it's a long & tough road but I'm ready!! I can't wait for the day when I can wake up in the morning with my own natural energy and not have to take an opiate to feel "normal" (whatever that is!) I know that it could take a looong time to get there but that's my end goal. It does make it easier to know that so many ppl have done it and lived to tell their story!!!

[IBKleen]

Hi & Welcome,

Although I was in a Methadone program two times I never was on it long term so I cannot share my experience with you. We have several members here who have tapered successfully and can help you with home remedies and the like. Please be patient and hang around until someone comes along. this is a great place for support and we can guide you through the process and support you along the way. Congratulations on wanting to get clean. That is a huge step!!!