Tapering off once again

[marycarmel]

Some of you may remember me when I tapered off a boat load of meds a couple of years ago.  This past winter, the pain had got to the point that my blood pressure was stroke level high and even after 2 BP meds it wouldn't drop.  So my primary care doc and physiatrist told me I should go back on narcotics.  I had thought I'd be off them by summer but with the humidity, the pain didn't get much better.

I don't like myself on these meds.  I don't like being chained to a clock or bottle.  So once again, I am planning on coming off.  I know there may be times in the future I'll have to go back on them again but for now I want off.  I want to get off them so I can at least get off them before the really bad weather hits, which is my worst time.

I also am not thrilled with the physiatrist (who manages the pain issues.)  He offers nothing but meds.  My old docs also provided procedures even if they only helped for a bit.  My primary is on board with me coming off but wants the physiatrist to oversee it.  And I know he'll do a taper that is much too fast for my body.  

My plan is to use the methods suggested here and to taper very slowly this time.  (Last time i was too ambitious and wound up really sick and in the hospital.)  I'm not sure why I'm so afraid this time.  I've done it before with many more meds and much higher doses.  In addition to my other pain issues, I'm not having trouble with the joints in my knees.  9Essentially all my joints are in bad shape with arthritis, RSD from a botched surgery (with 9 more to try to fix it, unsuccessfully,) fibromyalgia (which usually is the least of my problems.)

I'm going to start back to the gym and I'm going to taper ver slowly.  Hopefully by the end of this script, I will be all done.  Being on the narcotics makes me uncomfortable.  I never misuse them or take more than I should but I feel like they change who I am.  I plan to taper down to the tiniest amount in order to have the least amount of withdrawals possible.

Right now I am on 20 mg oxycontin twice a day and 10 mg 3 times a day along with 10 mg nortriptyline 3 times a day and klonopin .5 mg twice a day.

Even though I'm not a true addict in the true sense of the word, I'm hoping I can get the support I need here since this forum is more active and the pain management forum isn't really about getting off meds.

I plan on getting to the gym tomorrow, even though at the moment i am so out of shape I don't even know what I'll be able to do but at least it will be something.

I'm open to suggestions anyone may have.

Thanks.

[selfinduced]

Was just thinking about you and wondering how your doing?

[dominosarah]

I think it is time to find a psychiatrist that is willing to work with you.  You know where you want to be and you know how to get there.  You need to find someone that will support you.

[Teri9498]

Hi remember u a few years back when I was on here tapering off methadone...I was clean 3months when I started getting horrible bladder/kidney pain..turns out I have IC & the methadone was just covering it up..so like u, I'm back on pain meds, now oxycodone/oxycontin...I could stay on these meds probably forever, but like u said, I don't like the person I am on these meds!!  All the Dr does is try to push more meds on me!  I'm at a pretty high dose & am trying to taper down as much as possible before going CT...good for u wanting to get off & who knows, maybe your pain level will be much lower this time!!  I wish u all the best & am right here w/ya!....xxoo....Teri. :)

[marycarmel]

I'm more feeling like I need a drug holiday and I a involving my primary care.  The physiatrist is not really my cup of tea.  And he pushes hard for Opana at every appointment.  I hadn't planned on staying on this through the summer but the humidity made a lot of the pain worse.  So here I am again and I imagine this will be the story of my life.  I plan to do a very slow taper.  I started stopping one BT pill.  That didn't feel too bad at all.  Then I cut out the evening OxyContin yesterday.  I'm just going to go very slow and when I get off them I will stay off them until when and if there's a need for the again.  I'll use my gels and creams and lidoderm patches and my ibuprofen.

I'm not mentally addicted but I'm smart enough to know that it can happen in the blink of an eye.  I also have been having some trouble with my knees (something with the tendons from the quadriceps that go over the kneecap and the tendons slipping out of place.   It's strange as it hurts way more going down the stairs and when at rest (like sleeping)  And their first inclination is to     up the meds.  My first inclination is to stop the meds and let's see what this really is.

I need to get back to the gym (looks like Thursday will be my start day.)  I've let myself go with the exercise and it helps with some of my pain issues, like fibro, and it definitely helps with my head.

I always read this forum daily to remind myself that no one starts out wanting to be addicted.   Whether it's due to an injury or that someone was using it recreationally, everyone thinks they can manage it.  And so even though I have never misused my meds, I'm not naive enough to think it can't happen to me.

Last time I was on so much more and on such high doses I was miserable.  I'm on a much lower dose of far less meds now (and I am planning on stopping everything except for my ibuprofen.)

I know it's likely I will have to go back on come winter but I just need for my own peace of mind to take a break, hopefully reset my tolerance and go from there.  I will do this slowly and I'm sure there will be days I'll be screaming in pain but it will be worth it in the end.

Thanks for the support.  It's good to have.

[vicki595]

Hi Mary-  I'm happy to stick by you during your taper...Are you wanting to stop ALL of these meds or just the OxyContin?  Have you started the taper yet?

I may have told you this before but I think it's a good idea to take a "drug holiday" once in awhile anyway. Many chronic pain patients do this... You might end up not needing it in the future or at least less than you need now. I hope for your sake that's the case because I know how much you dislike these meds!       Stay in touch-

[kyle505]

Because of your very legit pain issues it is good that you've got your doc involved. And I'm very impressed at your level of awareness and honesty. Based on what you've written, I don't feel that you've reached the addict level yet, or at least your mind isn't there, and that's critical. I base this on the fact that you're not using your pain to get more meds because you WANT them more than need them. And you mention nothing about using more than needed.
I think you're doing all the right things and have the correct (honest) mindset. Keep posting. All the best.
K

[Wildewoman]

Hi Mary - welcome.

I didn't think I was a true addict either - until my script ran out & I couldn't get my meds for a little over 10 hours.

I took my Norco - only as prescribed - never more -but I know now I am an addict.

You will find a lot of support here - I have,  over just the last . . has it only been 6 days??

Seems like forever!! :-)