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1523327 tn?1295402970

Tapering off.....not a choice

Hello everyone,

not sure u remember me....

I was convinced I could taper off just like that....
coming to find out, its not that easy!
Not sure if I can get it done, here I am faced with another refill!!!
The taper off is just not for someone like me, to be honest, coming to find out (and I am so shocked about this)
I am too hooked.

Hubby was gonna help me on this, but all it did is challenge our relationship. The last two weeks have been so tough on us. As of right now we are not even talking to each other, cause I tested his patience one time too much. I have been a real b****!
I have to do it cold turkey. Just not quiet ready for it yet. guess as long as I put it off the harder it will get.
I have been thinking different about the pills I take, there not 'my friend' anymore.

Just wanted to let you guys know 'where' I am in my quest. I'm frustrated and it is almost Christmas, don't feel very Christmassy.
50 Responses
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1374564 tn?1295059520
Hi hon,

Hope you are hanging in there. When you wrote about the feeling all being in your crotch I was laughing yelling at the screen.."Exactly!" I felt the same way you did hon and you know what, I just got down and dirty! It honestly helped. It also helped that my husband was right there with me during the worst of my withdrawals. Talk to your husband. Admit to him how snotty you have been and apologize to him for it and also explain that right now, you cannot help it and you need him. I am betting he will come around once he knows you are truly fighting to get clean and be a better wife and mother. Besides, not many men I know would not want to help a lady scratch that itch! :-) Sorry for being a little crude but I wanted to make you smile.
Helpful - 0
1523327 tn?1295402970
I have found myself a "W/D buddy we been writing back and forth.
he is also on day 5. you can follow our struggle at "Advice for a year of Oxy"

Thank you for all the advice and all the help I got from everyone
Helpful - 0
1450446 tn?1290612561
If you take the norcos, all of the struggling you have done so far will be for nothing.  You WILL have to do it again, so might as well do it now when you are halfway through!

It always makes me nervous to see people post these things, because I think it indicates the choice has already been made.  I pray for you to make the right decision.  You really can do this, you just have to alter your thinking a little!

Cancel that prescription!  It will only be a temporary bandaid, and if you pick it up, I guarantee your use will surpass anything you have used before! (not good!)  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Leave that norco alone or like others are saying...............you will have to repeat this full circle again. No way around it.  I know it hurts.  I know.  All to well.  DO NOT SUBSTITUTE ANY OTHER NARCOTIC or you will be here again some day.  Have faith and know that in a few weeks to months you will feel so much better.  Life will look so much better, be so much better.  Keep telling yourself that and when you question who you are doing this for look yourself in the mirror and then go look at your babies.  Stick to it.  You are coming out of the storm.  You put yourself in.  Gotta get yourself out.  You can do it though.  Pray.  
Helpful - 0
1198664 tn?1368647812
You pick that norco up for ANY reason and you WILL do ALL that suffering again. If not now then soon. You will have that hell to re-live again. Really want to go through that?  I know I don't.  Call them and cancel it forever. If not you will be looking at me and all the others and being really envious in a few weeks. Just stay with us and be an inspiration. If you get them it's over. Back to square one. You don't want to waiste all that suffering.
Helpful - 0
1523327 tn?1295402970
my pharmacy just texted me and let me know that my regular Norco prescription is ready for pick up.

Oh dear,,,,,Oh dear God

I am feeling better today the night was rough.
Im crying a lot, all day long, still a lot of pain, but the vomiting stoped

Helpful - 0
1531526 tn?1330736076
Hey, how are you doing??? Better with the physical stuff at least, I hope!!!! Thinking of you!
Helpful - 0
1331115 tn?1536362140
I hope you are feeling better today the worst of w/d will pass soon and you will be so glad you did it. Just think about it this way you are giving your family and yourself the BIGGEST Christmas gift they will ever receive. God Bless and have a Merry Christmas.---Rick
Helpful - 0
1525404 tn?1291914516
When the withdrawals are at their worst it's near impossible to be objective and put things in their proper perspective. When the drugs take over they provide the chemical boost your brain would normally make on its' own. When they're taken away you go back to depending on your own brain to provide these chemicals. Problem is your brain has now forgot how to do this so while it's relearning to make and excrete these chemicals that control moods and emotions you're mind is going to be all over the place. A sad song or movie will make you burst into tears when normally you wouldn't have been affected like that. Pills also gave us lots of energy to do anything we wanted, taken away your now like the person that wakes up from a coma who hasn't used their muscles in so long that they have to relearn how to funtion.


You're so tired now because your body is having to learn to get it's energy from it's own natual resources instead of that produced by the pain killers.
That goes away too. Since no two people withdrawal at the same rate it's hard to say that in exactly 5 days you'll feel better and begin sleeping again. It might take 3 days for some or it might take 7 to 8 day for others.  

I remember feeling exactly as you are now. Frustrated, disappointed and depressed that I was no longer going to get that rush of good feelings and energy ever again because I wasn't allowed to have my pills anymore. I relapsed because I thought this was now going to be the new normal. Turns out I was wrong. Those feelings are temporary and the lack of energy and no motivation is temporary too.
You will get back to feeling just as energetic and happy as you remember before the addiction started.
I feel so good now I'm having a hard time remembering why I thought I just had to have those pills 24/7 in excess.

I used to want so bad to be where the addicts that were on the other side of it were at. All of their stories on feeling good and glad to have their life back seemed so far out of reach for me and I was sure that I was never going to be in that place ever again because my situation was so different than all of theirs was. The only difference was that I would cave before giving it a fair chance.

Do yourself a favor and give it at least 4 weeks. That's not long really, how quick did time go by since thanksgiving? That was 4 weeks ago and it flew by didn't it?
Four weeks from now you're going to have a completely different outlook on all of this.
You wanna be like all of the other addicts that got past this? Then just stay in the race. You will get there I promise. And very soon you will be here telling others going through the same thing as you are that they too can get thru this. It'll occur to you that the words your telling the newly clean were so hard to believe yourself yet turns out everyone was right. You'll share that and pass it forward too.

I'm clean today! Tomorrow I'll worry about when I wake up. You're clean today right? The only difference between you and I is time. Go to you calender and circle the next 25 days. Every morning when you get up be proclaim to the world that "Today I will be clean!" and then put an X in that days circle. When you run out of circles you'll be amazed at how good you're feeling.
You can beat this. Everyone here knows you can and we're here to remind you of that as often as you need to hear it.
Helpful - 0
684676 tn?1503186663
sometimes especially in the beginning ppl have to just take it a minute or hour at a time, then one day at a time, aftercare and being open to support are really important, its a life long progressive disease unfortuantly, it is by no means a quick easy thing to learn to enjoy life (the good & the bad) again, but is definitly dooable.
one step at a time......
Helpful - 0
1523327 tn?1295402970
thank you onthefence,
so all I need to do is figure out how i did my job before I was hooked.
Seems so so far away.....
I also need to find a way to unwind when I get home from work.....
I better think of this before I go back.
Helpful - 0
684676 tn?1503186663
what exactly is "normal" is anybody really normal?
in the old PDR'S (physician desk reference) it states " may be habit forming" for all these opiate drugs, and that is exactly what it is a habit with physical side effects when stopping the intake of the drug.
so daily routines are accociated with the habit of taking the "norco" , the habit has to be broken, then the longer the daily routine of life is lived w/out the drug the more the accociation will decrease, Alot of ppl have a hard time with the cravings during daily life, thats where aftercare comes in . addictionoligist, 12 step meetings, therapy, meditation, spirituality, whatever the person is most comfortable with.
addicts are usually not unique we just think we are......
Helpful - 0
1523327 tn?1295402970
Please dont give up, if you can do it then I can too, I know about the pain, I have constant Muscle spasams, constant all over my body, hurts so so bad. that was the real reason why I got onto the pills. I am still trying to find out togeter with a dr how we can stop them but my body does not seem to absorb calcium.

anyway, last night is over I am telling myself I am closer now again to where I have to be.
this is the hardest thing I ever did in my life far out! Including  3 C-sections.

I keep thinking maybe everyone on here does not know how I am, I can not life without my Norco, do they understand, I do not think I can be a "normal" person without norco.

so here are my thoughts of right now...............
I am going to try to get up now, take a shower, make some lunch for the kids, and wrap the presents, how far I will get.......who the hell knows......staring to cry just by thinking I have to move.....
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Meant to say none of these people posting are contradicting themselves, but are telling straight truth.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I want to give up too. Last night was pure writhing in agony hell. But I don't want to ever have to go through this again. I'm not strong enough. I wish my body could go into a coma for enough days, and I could wake up and it would be over. But none of these people posting (I'm new to the site as of yesterday - "advice for a year of oxy") are telling the straight truth. I don't see much, if any, bantering of conflicting advice, so I'm trying to take them at their word. I have the same Christmas thoughts since I have 3 kids. Would love to refill my oxy prescription today and just keep staying that route, but I have to try and go with what I know over what I feel. God bless you.
Helpful - 0
684676 tn?1503186663
Klonopin (clonazepam) is a benzodiazepine class sedative/hypnotic, anticonvulsant, and anxiolytic. It is not technically or legally a "narcotic." However clonazepam can be abused and is a schedule IV controlled substance.

acheiving & maintaining sobriety is the most important thing but accurate info is important to, IMO.
Helpful - 0
1523327 tn?1295402970
lol your funny debbie, trying to relax, its so so hard, the constant moving around, my legs will not lay still.
OK and now the anxiety....ok this all seem kinda weird but my anxiety is mostly in my crotch! Most annoying thing ever. Feels like I always have to pee or maybe get down and dirty 24/7.
Yeah,I know funny huh? so annoying, since that is the last thing on my list right now...
Helpful - 0
1235186 tn?1656987798
actrually should say IT IS A NARCOTIC.
Helpful - 0
1235186 tn?1656987798
if you take clonazepam it will lengthen the withdrawl. is it a narcotic. don't take it.
pray,pray,pray and pray some more. the Lord will see you through this. your kids will think you are sick for christmas it is fine. have your husband wrap your gifts. so what if you have to eat chinese food, they can sing fa,ra,ra,ra,ra to you. try to relax as much as you can. you can do it. be strong.
sending blessings
debbie
Helpful - 0
1198664 tn?1368647812
You are going to have to be a little selfish about this is you have to. I mean what's more important, ONE perfect christmas day or the other 364 days of the year, and the rest of your life and the dozens of Christmases to come. Besides really in a day or two I almost guarantee you will be ok to get up and do things. Even if it comes in spurts. Ask for help if you can. I would take the clonopin, I did. It helps until it wears off. Emotions are going to be crazy for a while it's normal. Just a day or two. Drink and eat if you can. Protien shakes are good. And immodium. Almost done.
Helpful - 0
1523327 tn?1295402970
wanted to make an appointment with my dr, to help me with me withdraw....
no appointments till tue
I am the worst today, cant walk, paralyzed in my bed crying.
How did I let this happen?
Does anyone know Clonazepam, I got this medication from my Rheumatologist. thought it might help with the anxiety. any idea if it will I am willing to do ANYTHING right now to make it stop, be able to get up and get ready for Christmas.
Christmas is a joke and hassle for me right now!
this is guna be the worst Christmas ever, did not finish making cookies. the presents are not wrapped, the Christmas grocery list is laying on the counter for days.
Dear God, what the **** am I guna do?
Helpful - 0
1198664 tn?1368647812
Only another day or 2 to go before the worse is over. You can at least see the finish line now just keep going almost there.
Helpful - 0
1531526 tn?1330736076
Well it won't help your anxiety to have someone blaming you. Just tell him hey, it happened, it happens all the time with people getting addicted. It usually doesn't happen with people trying to quit, especially CT, and the whole point is, is that you've been clean 3 days now!!! You should be over the physical stuff very soon...perhaps some throwing up and diarrhea is due to anxiety...?
Things won't get better overnight. Anxiety is still here for me although in spouts instead of constant. There will be happy days again. Just not right away, because like you said, you're mourning the loss of what gave you comfort. You're being too hard on yourself and putting your expectations way too high this early in withdrawals. Just keep telling yourself it is going to get better. And if your husband is blaming you, like I said, it's not going to help the emotional side of things and maybe make some physical symptoms worse...
Take deep breaths. Take a hot shower. Stop feeling so guilty, and try and get to the root of why you were taking the pills in the first place (not the pain, but the emotional reasons you were taking them) and try to get some help for that set up. Therapy, this forum. Just keep talking. Your husband doesn't know what you're going through because he's not an addict..do you know just how a man thinks or feels? No, because you're not one!! Maybe put it to him that simple. And just know that the physical stuff, even though it doesn't seem like it right now, will get better every hour, day, etc. It's a moment at a time.
I've been told here so many times and read to tell yourself you're sober for today. It stinks and it's so very very hard, but you're doing it!!!!!!!!!  I believe in you. You're strong and you can do this..xo
Helpful - 0
401095 tn?1351391770
Dont beat yourself up..tapering is hard for an addict.  The pills control an addict vs the addict controlling the pills as a rule.  It is hard to control a taper, when you have lost control of the substance...it just is!  I couldnt do it either.  Sometimes I would try and taper and take even more out of the anxiety of trying to taper!
One major thing I found was to make a plan, pick a quit day and stick to it.  The plan has to include cutting off supply whether is be a dealer, friends or a doctor.  Most doctors are happy to hear you no longer want to take narcotics.  They will not look down upon u.

Merry Christmas to u!  Quitting sounds like a great new year's resolution!
Helpful - 0
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