Man today is day 2 for me and i feel confident about what i am doing. Ive told evryone around me so that i cant hide things and feel more accountable ,but the person i use with is my mom and she depends on me or my car to score. I have already told her I'm done and dont offer them and tell me no if i ask. Well today although i feel horrible I still feel confident and empowerd in my decision. Im laying here feeling horrible and who should call... my dealer, oh I got some of those things for you. Well I told him na man Im done with that you wont be hearing from me no more,lose my number,click. Eventhough it was the right thing to do I still keep having these thoughts and images. So here i am its gettin late almost forgetting about earlier starting to feel a little worse and mom calls so did m.[the dealer ] call. I was like ya I told him whats up, no more. good she says then shes goin on about how she was worried about hookin up and the guy was commin to her house and blah blah blah. I guess i should have said please dont talk to me about that stuff. My husband and i had gotten into an arguement before the phone call and after we hung up i have these jealous feelinds that the guy is commin over and shes hookin up probably now. Why did i go and tell everyone I could have just kept it goin. I guess when i get a little better i need to go to a n/a meeting or somethin. wish i could go right now. Anyways Im stickin to it but I know getting thruogh w/ds is only the first part.
good for you. its great you told the dealer. that proves you really want recovery. it i hard now, but it gets better and life gets good clean. keep on hanging tough...you are getting ther one day at a time....
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