Thanks for all of your kind words

[hydrocodonegirl78]

Well, i haven't slept yet, and I am too week to make it up the stairs to get anything to eat or drink.  I wish i had the courage to admit to my loved ones what is really going on, but i have just let them down so many times, and have insisted that I am not addicted.
The worst ideas have been going through my mind, on how to get some pills so I can just get enough energy to get out of here, and back to Florida, where I want to start my new life.  Where I am now is only making things worse, and I don't plan on missing my next court date

[Peete1974]

My first comment is that your family most likely knows exactly what is going on.  I have thought so many times that I was fooling my family and I ended up looking like the fool.  If you are honest with them (as hard as that may be) you will feel better and probably get their much needed support.  Good luck with all you are going through.
Peete

[beachtowel]

Welcome to the forum......

If you want any advice I would tell you to get your butt into detox and then an inpatient drug rehab before you go to court. The judge will look more positive on your situation if he sees that your trying to help yourself.
You can't run to Florida and forget the victims of your past, it doesn't work that way. Your in for a long haul and it will take some accountablity and hard work to find your way back from being lost. A good lawyer will help as well...........

[hydrocodonegirl78]

I know that I can't and shouldn't run away, but I feel like if I don't help myself get better first, then I can't fix all of the relationships that I have destroyed.  I have a problem with confronting my problems, and instead find it easy to just ignore them, until I absolutely have to face them.  I just feel deep down, that staying where I am now, is only going to make getting clean harder.  I would even be more than willing to get into rehab in FL, because that is where I am truly happy.  That is what I want a chance to start over, and turn my mistakes around.  I want to do that before my court date, so the judge can see that I am trying to make a difference.  I am so confused, and feeling the way I do doesn't help it any.  I have avoided feeling true emmotions for so long because of the pills....

[sosad5306]

Get it over with....do you really want to take some pills for what??? A few hours of false satisfaction and then eventually, no matter what you will have to feel like sh1t and w/d all over again.  If I can sit here in all the hell and pain and misery I am feeling on day 2 c/t from hydrocodone and oxycontin and tell you this then you have to find the strength.  Your family probably does know!  Through the help of this forum I found the courage to tell my family and believe me when I say it was HARD!  I was also arrested because of my pill addiction.  I was arrested in the pharmacy and am facing felony charges.  I am getting clean because I owe it to me and everyone around me.  It is hard it sucks its torture but just do it!

[Eric_FL]

Do you know people in Florida. (friends with access to pills?) If you do, dont bother, Your addiction will follow you. I promise. If you dont, Moving may not be such a bad idea. The only way I was able to get off of an oxy/perc addiction was to eliminate them from my life. I had ABSOLUTELY no way to get them, local doctor got shut down by the D.E.A. (thats a whole 'nother story). If you can remove them from your life completely, that includes getting away from friend that do drugs too. You have a chance. But I wouldn't go running to Florida just yet, sounds like you have some legal issues to work out first. Once you can leave your state without fear of bench warrants, you may want to really think about it. Plus the weather is great here. Makes you happy to be alive.

[hydrocodonegirl78]

u are right, there should be no reason to turn back now, after the hell I have been going through these past days.  Not to mention the fact that I have 126 felony charges to face.  And i wish i could agree that my family knows, but my parents are so naive about everything, that they have believed everything I have told them.  though i know in a matter of days, the people i worked with in the doc's office are going to tell them the truth.....  they think i was selling them, and that's it.... and i don't know why that is any better, but it is for some reason....

[sosad5306]

I know.  I told my parents (for a while) that I was selling them b/c I am a single mom, full time college student.  But once I told them, they were not surprised.  I really encourage you to tell them.  Learning to be honest again is part of recovery and it feels SO good!  Just to have someone to talk to while I detox no lies no "I have the flu"....just the truth, I am a drug addict.