The Big Too-Oh!

The best decision that I ever made during the one year of nonstop opiate use came on the last day of me using.....and that decision was to Stop Using!  The journey has been tough and rough and rocky and rolly and it's far from over...but I am so happy I finally decided to do this 20 Days ago and that I stuck with it and that almost three weeks later i absolutely am reinforced by that decision.  Every day is begun with a silent prayer of thanks for having this second chance at life and a determination to succeed at all costs. And for those who know me and those who dont....my philosophy remains the same..... Failure is never an Option .... Failure is an Opiate!  It's 6:30am here and time to get a jump start on the day that essentially is a gift like all days to come!  I love you all!!!!

[charliej41]

20 day that's great u been a insperation  to me and a lot of others I look for your post avery morning as soon as I get up so thank u and keep posting  

[zoea]

Well done. Im struggling today. But will.keep going as u have. X

[MikeInFrance]

Thanks Charlie ... And Zoea hang in there.... It'll pass in a few hours. Don't concentrate on bad feelings or problems...just push forward! ;)

[ready2bfree49]

Reading these has made me feel better :) I can do it......

[MikeInFrance]

Good "ready!" I have been trying my best to stay positive from Day 1 and I really think it has helped tremendously although I have nothing to really compare it to but it has worked for me. the one and only addiction in my life and I pick one of the hardest narcotics to detox CT off of....serves me right!! Ha ha.... I totally deserved it after making a decision like that!!  I hear about some people who have said they were using for up to a year or longer everyday and they experienced absolutely no wd whatsoever and functioned completely normal from Day 1! I seriously take issue with that...seriously! To me it's like if someone is accidentally cut....you bleed .... Simple fact...how do you not experience any wd symptoms from a year long+ habit of say oxycodone? I know people will say it's true and I am not from Missouri or anything but you have to Show me that to believe it.

[all_alone1]

congrats on the big 20...you know we live you mike.....keep up the good work.

[MikeInFrance]

Thanks angel ...live you too!;)))-

[all_alone1]

Lol sorry mike...but you know what I mean..;-)

[snakejones]

Congratulations, Mike! I've been following you since I came back 10 days ago, and you are one wonderful person. I like your positive vibe and your comapassion for others, even in the middle of your pain. You write well, and you are funny, too. Today I am in a lot of pain, and it is good to read uplifting posts like yours. I wish you not just 20 days clean, but 20 years! This is a special group, and part of the reason why is that you are here.. Have a great night.....

[phiaNorcoqueen]

wow, Mike, you are an amazing uplifting person and CONGRATS my friend on 20 days i know it is a hard task but we do seem to be able to do it.. And you know life is a gift and we get another chance at it.. And i plan to take that opputunity to the fullest.. It's all ours now lets dive in head first.. I wish you a wonderful recovery and a happy life.. As long as were not using i can't be all that bad..  everyday that we are clean is a gift and a choice.. So that is awesome that you decided to take this choice and not take it lightly ..  

Thank you so much for your inspiration that have helped many.. your amazing

Sophia

[lulu747]

Hi Mike...
Has it been 20 days already???  JK..
I'm proud of you for your hard work and determination....Keep your positive attitude and keep moving forward in your recovery....
Awesome work
Lu

[MikeInFrance]

Wow...! I'm humbled by these last posts! Even chills down my back...! But why should someone go into this without a positive attitude and determination? This is difficult enough as it is so we should never add to that. I made a decision for me to change and that's the only reason I will succeed. U may have children, husbands, wives, families, etc that you 'must' do this for but that won't last because once 'you' feel like you aren't being taken care of then old feelings and old habits are ripe again. Aftercare is my biggest problem right now...so far it been medhelp and to me that's huge but everyone says it's not enough and I respect that so much because many of you know first hand! So I take it seriously and made an appointment with an English speaking addiction counselor for Monday to see what my options are. I hear alot about 90 meetings in 90 days but that is so not me! I'm sorry if that seems rude and I don't mean to say that it doesn't help and work for a lot of people but it's just not me. So I will find something that works good for me because I realize it's important.  Most importantly I wanna understand and come to terms with the how's and why's of my addiction ...that's my goal. Everyone (most) say the goal is to stay clean but to me that's not the most difficult part if u r committed to change. Finding the clarity, understanding and  answers within ourselves, however difficult, is the ultimate goal.  

[Sarah11212]

Mike,
NA was/is not for me either. I did it for a week and then again earlier this week and I just am not going to do it anymore.
I have chosen to do counseling every Wed. Yes, it's costing me quite a bit of money, but I feel it's what will work for me. And honestly, I was spending at least the same on pills every month so the money is going to a good place now!
Let's continue to "Fight the Fight"!