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The Demon Norco
Hello everyone, this is my 1st post here but I've been reading various posts here for quite some time. It's crazy how embarrassed I am to write this post, even though I'm anonymous really. Anyway, I need to come clean in an environment of understanding where I can hopefully get some help. I'm on Day 1 of a coldturkey Norco stop. My pain dr gave me enough to take 5 a day x 2 months, and wanted me to go find another doctor. He is a jerk who doesn't listen or care, so that's fine. He misread my MRI (I've had 3 back surgeries) and he got offended when I told him my surgeon found some problems. So now the surgeon wants to do another back surgery in about 4 months, so that I'll be a yr out from my last one. Anyway, I've been on Norco 5 yrs now. I moved & recently started seeing this new pain dr who reduced my dose from 6/day to 5/day, saying the DEA was watching the docs too closely and he wasn't going to prescribe a "bunch of pills" for me to take "all day long". He tried me on a slow release morhine x 2 wks, at the lowest dose & it did nothing. Then we tried Opana x 2 wks (lowest dose) and it did nothing either. During this month of new trials, I all but quit taking the Norco so I could see if these others would truly work. I didn't want to take both & overload my body. But when I told this doc they didn't work he said I already had my mind made up that they wouldn't & said he didn't want to see me anymore. I was shocked to say the least...I've never been rude, late, disrespectful, etc., so this caught me off guard. So he gives me 1 refill on the Norco & sends me on my way. Well, 5 a day didn't do diddly squat so like many of you, I took more. I took 7/day (10/325). Now guess who is out?? Yep; and now it's withdrawal time and I'm scared. I got a copy of my medical records where he wrote the meanest thing about me on the last visit; said I was being passive-aggressive and I have no idea what he means by that. I got upset & teared up a little when he told me I need to find another doctor as it was completely unexpected. I told him that I just wanted to work w/ him to find the right mix of medicines & why can't we use a little long acting & short acting combined. He was so cruel & cold, and I know y'all don't know me but I'm a nice person who treats others very well. I think he's scared of the gvmt. Funny thing is earlier that same day I saw my surgeon who told me we need to wait on surgery awhile & for me to work w/ the pain dr. to find the right blend of meds so that I could live comfortably....soooo, okay. Then that same day the doctor dismisses me. So, now I need to find a new doctor and I'm worried to death about he/she reading this horrible statement the dr. wrote about me & prejudging me. Plus I'm about to go thru withdrawal hell. I know I've built up a tolerance to Norco over the last 5 yrs and actually took them as Rx'd for the 1st 4yrs, then the 6/day wasn't working anymore plus I had some screws stabbing me in the spinal cord (which was why I had surgery last yr). Now I have another problem, 2 actually. I live in pain and I'm addicted (physcially, psychologically, mentally) to the Norco. And I'm out. I can't call this doc back because I took 2 extra a day and I don't have a new dr yet. And I don't have a family doctor & I'm way too afraid to tell any medical professional what's going on. I can't let anything get in my medical records, so I feel stuck. I have to do this on my own and am hoping that maybe I can get to a place of knowing what my "real" pain level is. I know most of here are like me, addicted because of legit problems, but isn't it funny how the very doctors that Rx these pills are who we are most afraid to tell the truth too? It's a vicious circle. So if you can even understand my dilemma, please w/b. I need a friend, some help, some advice as the next few weeks are going to suck. Thank you in advance and if I can be of help to anyone, please let me know.
Y'all are all so awesome. It's so hard to find people in my regular life to talk to. I mean, with all the hoopla with celebrities etc. (MJ, Whitney, Heath etc.) on pain pills, it is scary to say anything. My problem is, my last PM doctor was not a nice man. I got copies of my records and he lied all over the place! Said he did exams when he never touched me for example. Then when I speak up for myself for the FIRST time he fires me. Or said I should get another opinion to be technical. I never called in for an early refill, he never knew I was taking more than I should, (seriously, he didn't), 'passed all my UAs; but he was irritated w/ me because MSContin ER & Opana ER didn't work. But after reading some stuff on this site, I learned about cross tolerance. I've been on Norco (6-8/day) x 5 yrs. So he takes me off that and puts me on these other meds and when I told him they didn't work he got annoyed. He had me on the lowest doses and I did stop taking the Norco while on them. It was a painful time for me. So I need a doc who will figure out either a good combo set up or help me w/ something to get me off everything altogether (1st choice). If I keep taking narcotics, eventually none will really work - I know that. Regardless, I'm scared to tell her what happened. This a**hole dr wrote that I was undermining the dr/patient relationship and was being passive/aggressive w/ him. I was standing up for myself when he became rude & I never do that. I'm very passive, but not aggressive! I'm a quiet, polite lady who is now freaked out that someone would write that about me. Boy my husband was ticked off too; he said "you're not like that!" So I'm worried. I need some kind of pain mgmt; I have to have another back surgery in 5 months... But for now, I screwed up taking 2 more Norco a day than I was prescribed and now things have come to a head. Probably a sign from God huh? Thanks to you all and I'm here if you need me too. :)
Hey hon.. Don't feel that that "People" will think 'TERRIBLE THINGS' about you if you;re HONEST! Honesty will set you FREE.. please tell your doctor everything about what is going on.. that's the only way that they can help you... and.. the more info they have.. the better they are able to treat you.. (although... you may 'run into some' that don't want to... but then that's just a good way to FIRE THEM! )
hey aftercare cost nothing, go to N.A. or A.A. meetings or whatever you need to do, you just have to always stay active in your recovery. Being addicted does not go away once you get clean, as time moves along you will come to see what i mean, YOU ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE AN ADDICT, you just dont have to be an active addict, but to do that, you must be active in staying clean. Never get to a point were you think you can controll your using, we addicts can not do that!! You are doing good, you are getting clean, you are making a huge step right now!! I suggest that you keep a journel and write in it everyday, write how you feel, what you are going through, how bad it is, this will be something to look back on when you think of picking up another pill. I was taking loratab 10's and takin 15-20 a day for two years, and here i am after quiting cold turkey on day 35(or so i try not to keep count) and i feel good, I will let you know that sleep ing prob going to be an issue for you, and it *****, get some reading materails or something you enjoy doing when you are unable to sleep, also look at top of this screen and click on "health pages" and look at the Thomas recipe and the amino acids stuff, those two things help some with w/ds, do not mistakinly think anything is going to take your w/ds away cause it wont, but there is stuff that can make it a little easier, talk to you family doc and ask about clonadine if you can, its a blood pressure med and it does help alot. Please ask any questions you need to on here, i remember when i come here 35 days ago with so many questions that i felt like i was bugging people with them all, now i see that is what people are here for, to help each other, so feel free...post away!!!!
Thanks to you as well for your comments. I took a mile walk first thing this morning as it's impt to me to stay in shape. And yes, I've been in pain mgmt for 5 yrs. Just this last doctor was simply a jerk. My back pain is bad and he didn't care; put me on less than I'd been on in the last 4 yrs and it was nowhere near enough to relieve the pain I have. It's constant and just driving to my office awhile ago I was just like "Crrrrrap this hurts!" I've tried many times to taper but my self control is g-o-n-e as far as Norco is concerned. I have a love/hate with this drug; it does help but it's addictive. But over time we need more to get the same relief. I just took 3 Advil and am waiting for it to kick in. Then there's the whole mental aspect of it, geez. I have a legit problem and my (very respectable) surgeon said I have some bone spurs and need another fusion on L3-4, so I have quite a good amt of pain. But on the other hand I know I'm addicted. Double edge sword, eh? The 5/day of Norco didn't help near enough so I took more than I'm supposed to, now I ran out 2wks early. I am just kicking myself but at the time told myself I'd "worry about it later". Now it's later. Oh goody. My mind played evil tricks on me and now I'm really suffering. If it was just the pain that'd be one thing, but withdrawals? Really? Ugh. So, I guess I'll be living in a state of pure hell for awhile. I feel the w/ds coming on and I almost went to an urgent care clinic to get "something" but I didn't. Battle #1 conquered. I also have an appt this wk with a new pain mgmt dr in Dallas (100 miles away) and I'm not sure if I should tell her the predicament I got myself into. I'm afraid of her reaction, but gosh I want to be honest. I need the right kind of help but don't want her to think terrible things about me the 1st time she meets me. Thanks again for your comments, I do appreciate them. :)
After care can mean anything from AA to NA... (meetings) and/or a GOOD SUPPORT SYSTEM as you will need to have this in place in order to be in a SAFE PLACE in your RECOVERY.. Please note that THIS SITE is A SAFE PLACE... (as it has been a LIFE SAVER to me during my withdrawl AND recovery process)
Hang in there and keep posting on your progress.. I KNOW you can do it!
Hang in there and keep posting on your progress.. I KNOW you can do it!
Hi, thanks so much for your support. What exactly do you mean by "aftercare"? Unfortunately I have no mental health/sub abuse insurance, just straight up medical. If I did, I would be getting help inpatient somewhere I'm sure. I just got to work and it took a whole bunch of effort, but I'm here. How much Norco were you using? Thanks again! :)
I too have back and sciatic issues. Have you been to a pain management clinic? There are other ways to help the pain. There are times when we do need narcotic pain meds but we also need to try and find other things that help with the pain. There are ways such as pt, accupunture, tens units, etc.
As for the withdrawals, check out the amino acid protocol in the health pages. Also make sure you exercise, eat healthy, and drink plenty of water. I can't stress enough how much the exercising helps. I know it can seem impossible to even move at times but force yourself even if it's just a walk or jog around the block. I found out just laying around and feeling miserable just makes it worse and last longer. Just stay strong and tell yourself you are going to do this! There are physical pains during withdrawals and also mental pains. You just have to do your best to deal with the mental aspect of it. Laying around doesn't help. At least it didn't for me. Keep on fighting and you will get through this! Best of luck.
As for the withdrawals, check out the amino acid protocol in the health pages. Also make sure you exercise, eat healthy, and drink plenty of water. I can't stress enough how much the exercising helps. I know it can seem impossible to even move at times but force yourself even if it's just a walk or jog around the block. I found out just laying around and feeling miserable just makes it worse and last longer. Just stay strong and tell yourself you are going to do this! There are physical pains during withdrawals and also mental pains. You just have to do your best to deal with the mental aspect of it. Laying around doesn't help. At least it didn't for me. Keep on fighting and you will get through this! Best of luck.
hey just know it does get better. I am on like day 35 off a 2 year addiction to hydro 10's. The physical w/ds are only going to last like five days...u need to look into aftercare, i would not be this far without aftercare. Getting clean is only the first step, you must learn to relieve your pain in a way of not abusing narcotics, learn to deal with problems and life, and learn how to stay clean.
Hi, thanks for the reply! No, I've got NOTHIN'! (Except Advil...). So I'm truly on my own here. How are you feeling?
girl i have been going thru it myself i stopped taking all the norcos / perks 7 days ago since i hate morephine i took it insted i didnt get sick but i dont feel good either do you still have your morephine? try jus taking one every 12 hrs
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