The opiate driven life and my suboxone nghtmare...

[wannawean]

I started on suboxone october 9th @ 4 mg/day. Today I am taking 12mg/day. I turned to suboxone after a decade or so of opiate abuse. My D'sOC are ultram and norco. I was taking about 100mg a day of the norco, or 15 ultram/day, or a combo of the 2 before starting the sub. I was worried about seizures w/the ultram and my liver w/the APAP in the norco.I cannot taper. I also have historically been unable to stick w/the CT approach with the exception of pregnancy. I started the sub @ a decent dose but the addict in me has again taken over. My sub MD is in it only for the $$$. Since begining treatment i have seen him once. I have went by the office an additional two times only to pick up Rx's. It cracks me up that they can take my 100. and not even councel/see me....I have cut off my norco/ultram supply and am working weekly w/ a social wker. I am scared sh**less about the WD from sub. I see I am going in the wrong direction. I don't like how it makes me feel but I like it a lot better than full on WD. This last month I have been very depressed which I'd love to blame on the sub but who knows? my anxiety is also through the roof. I am a nurse and have studied the suboxone some. The 1/2 life is crazy. I'm thinking the w/d will be the worst from 2mg to zero then from 12-8-6 ect...could be wrong? I am so tired of shady docs and all the BS. I need to try to have as little down time as possble because of wk and my son. Any advise on how to taper is apperciated...Also any personal stories about suboxone would be appreciated. I'm a mess.Depressed defeated and sooo tired of worrying that I will always be tapering some opiate.Is suboxone just a rachet? I felt like I graduated in my addicton in a way by turning to sub but I was afrad of seizure ect...Plz help

[salsinator]

Hi wannawean,

Welcome to the forum.  Congratulations on wanting to quit and for taking the first step by quitting your DOC.  I was on suboxone for nearly 4 years - if you can do it, please don't take suboxone long term, you are correct, the withdrawals from suboxone are long and while the manufacturer and docs say that it is only a partial agonist and should not be as bad, the long half life makes the withdrawl much longer.  Tapering is the only way.  You can decrease by 4 mg from the larger dose.  Decrease your dose each week.  If 4mg is too much, go down by 2.  Do not jump off at 2mg, since suboxone is so strong, that is still too much.  I ran out one time at 2 mg and the withdrawals were horrible, that kept me on it for another 3 years.  I could not taper on my own, I finally had to go through a medically assited detox that lasted 8 days, I am so glad that I did it that way.  If you don't have an option like that, once you get to 2mg, drop down to 1, then you will literally be shaving off little pieces.  Try and taper down to .25 - .50mg, I have heard of others mixing the tiny amount in water in a syringe and using it that way.  Jumping from the lowest dose is the best way and staying on the med for only the shortest time will help minimize the withdrawal you have.  Keep posting, there are others here with experience with suboxone - we are here to support you.  Good Luck!  

[kolo13]

Uh Salsinator, you do want to make it clear that the syringe was for squirting it under your tongue, right?

[kolo13]

So yeah wannawean , you did go to a stronger longer acting drug - all because of fear of withdrawal. But look, you're working yourself up into a state of fear again. That fear is a primary symptom of addiction. Let it go. Everything is going to be okay. You can stabilize your life a little bit with the sub and then you can taper carefully off the sub. Follow Salsinators advice when you're ready. Many people successfully taper off suboxone all the time. Don't be scared, this is doable.

[salsinator]

Kolo13 - yes, absolutely.  Apologies for any mis understanding there.  Thanks for the clarification.  Just to also claify - suboxone cannot be "injected",  The narcan in the mediction (medication) would put someone into immediate withdrawal.  I also agree with your comments in your second post - taper is completely possible and the best route for suboxone.  Thanks again.  S