These withdrawl(withdrawal) symptoms are horrible

My whole problem started when I was 20 years old and found out I had endometrosis and was prescribed vicodin.  My body became tolerant to this medication and I needed more and more and when the doctors would say something i would quit going to them and find another one.  Then I thought if I moved to California all alone it would change my life, I thought what i needed to do was to move and start my life over.  I was high driving there so yes I was happy when I got there my addiction got so bad I was asking dr's at work for a prescriptions when I would start to run out.  I was so lonely out there and depressed I got worse and worse.  Point is I'm still trying to get off of vicodin and oxycontin and the dr is decresing my dosage and I can't handle it.  I'm constantly freezing and keep turning up the heat.  The oxycontin i have now is suppossed to last me to the 16th.  Im on 5 mgs four times a day and I keep dipping into the next day to get relief form the chills.  Its horrible I feel like crap.  I keep going through the cabinet to see if theres anything I can take to ease the symptoms.  I sat here all day and was on the internet seeing if I could buy some more.  Im trying to be strong and don't want the doctor to think I'm weak.  He told me I would feel uncomfortable but the thought of not having them is scary its like I need a full bottle with me at all times.  The thought of it not being avaliable scares me.  Does anyone else feel this way also?  

[LeaAnn807]

You are addicted and going to feel this way until you stop the pills.  Your doctor won't necessarily think you are weak for asking for help because you feel so bad while decreasing the dosage.  He might give you something else to take the edge off.  I don't know.  It might be easier to just stop and get it overwith?  Sounds as if maybe you are dragging it out?  I'm not sure, but if you talk to your doctor, and he thinks you are weak, then I would find another doctor, explain my situation (if you want to stop) and get some help and be free of the pills.  

Life is much better without your life revolving around the full bottle of pills!

[avisg]

I have been where you are I know it scary but you can get off these meds .There are so many other ways to help endo pain these days I first started having mine lasered off at 17 .
You are abusing your meds  are you ready to get off it besideds the fear ? You can do it and you wont be alone we will be here to help you threw . Is there anyone that can hold you meds so you are not taking more then you should and could help you taper off ?

[addicted32]

My boyfriend tries to find them but I will look for them until I find them.  I just called the dr today and told him dropping me from 40mg a day to 20mg is not happening.  I said I feel like **** and Im freezing.  Dr said no.  That I'm taking them wrong.  Only suppossed to take one 5mg five times a day.  I do 2 at a time because I can't feel a 5 mg.  After he said no I went to the internet because I'm done fighting with Drs.  I was just looking around.  Then right after I hung up the phone with Dr I got period and the cramps are coming.  So I just called him back and said i just got period and u can't do this to me this weekend and i asked for vicodin then.  Once again he said vicodin won't touch u because oxycontin is stronger.  So he said he will give me 4 additional pills until Friday and agreed to go down in 10mg instead of 20mg.  What if we function better on narcotics is that such a bad thing?  
Some people eat for happiness or smoke pot if we never got in trouble with law do we have a problem?  Some people are better off taking a vicodin a day.  I'm so confused.  This is my battle for the last ten years.  
i just think i'm better on them then off them help!  I continue to try.  I have a 2month baby at home now and hes what i live for.  my lifestyle before drinking and pills.  Now i never drink because alcohol doesn't even make me feel anything.  I wonder if its all the pill use.

[micheleTX]

sweetie you are addicted to these pills.  We have all been there or are going through the same thing.  You will never have enough, it will get worse, do you want to continue to think that a vicodin a day will help your problem?  You already said you were asking for more before your prescription ran out.  You either have to face that you are addicted and get off of them, or continue down that destructive road of never being able to get enough and needing more and more for the "high".  I only say this because you said you were driving "high", so you are using them for that high instead of the pain now.  Or along with the pain now, is what I mean.

We know how you feel, all of us here have had or are having a problem with opiates. If and when you decide enough is enough, we will be here to help you.

Im not trying to sound mean, but when you ask 'what if we function better on narcotics" whats wrong with that?  some can, some can take it as prescribed for long periods without chasing that "high", but addicts cannot.  We will always need more and more because we build a tolerance to the meds and the brain tells us we need more, get more!!

So, it is up to you, do you want the withdrawals to go on?  Or do you want to feel better?  I sure hope you decide you want to feel better and get off, especially with a small baby!

Please don't think I'm putting you down or judging you, I am not.  I just have been there so many times and I know that it will only get deeper and deeper into addiction for you.

God bless you in whatever you decide to do :)

[KATBLUE]

You need to get off of those pills, but it has to be your choice not anyone else.  If you don't do it for yourself do it for your kid.  Nobody just functions better when they are on pills they just feel that they are, not realizing what it is doing to the people around us. I am not trying to judge, I stopped pills 15 days ago largely due to the fact that my kids were going to stop talking to me.  And then what, I would have no one... One day your baby is going to get old enough to realize what you are doing and that is going to affect the baby's life.  DO IT FOR YOUR BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO IT FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!