Third time is a charm

[MFS79]

I am going to bed tonight ad waking up in the morning and not taking any pills but for my diabetes and blood pressure. This is my third time going CT. I am hoping the third time is a charm. My goal is to be clean by the 26 of December, and I don't want to start the new year on pills. It will be awesome to wake up Christmas morning and not take a pill to watch my kids open gifts. Wish me luck.

[LeaAnn807]

Ok, what about a pastor or therapist or addictionologist?  Is that who gives you the Antidepressant? Like, a psychiatrist?  Just do something to get continuing support at home.  We can help here, but you need something personal to do at home!

You really have done well to make it this far with what happened.  A lot of us would have used that as an excuse to use, especially on day 2 of stopping. That's NOT an easy time!  You did good! : )

[nursegirl6572]

OMG, so sorry for the tragic loss of your dog...I've been there, it's SO hard.

I think you're showing amazing strength and determination.  Keep that up, and you'll succeed without a doubt!  What a lovely goal...to watch your kids open presents clean.

That's one of those special, meaningful, personal goals that really speaks volumes about your desire to be clean...and your imagining the wonderful things you'll experience without being under the influence.

Good for you!  You've got my support and well wishes!  Best of luck!

[MFS79]

I am not sure what to do for after care yet. I already take antidepressant and Adivan when needed for anxiety. A one month script of it can last me up to 2 months. My son likes na meetings. But I am not sure.

[LeaAnn807]

You sound great!  I am so happy to see this.  Going for a walk will help every day if you can.  You may still have some bad moments, but it sounds like you are over the worst.  Have you given any thought to aftercare?  You don't want to keep going through this, and that's the only way to stop it!

Congrats on making it this far!  Just take it a day at a time now.

[MFS79]

I went for a walk today to get my lonely dog out of the house and get his mind off his buddies. It was great getting out at the park. While I was walking I realized all te things the pills keep me from doing it was good for me and my doggy.

[clean_in_ks]

YEA FOR YOU!!!  You are doing GOOD and congrats on not using thru this.  You have just proven to yourself you CAN live life without pills whether its a tragedy or a stressful situation.  Glad your big dog is ok and coming home today.  You are building this foundation that you aren't even aware of right now.  Each thing we do clean and sober makes us stronger to do the NEXT RIGHT thing clean and sober.
You go girl~~

[MFS79]

Day 3 and I feel great. Better than I thought I would. I didn't think I could make it this far. The RLS didn't start till about 330 am so I got about 5 hours sleep. But I still feel pretty darm good. My da is bringing the big dog home from the vet soon which is good because te other dog that didn't get out is walking around the house whinning. At least he gets one of his pals back. Maybe for Christmas we can get the kids another lil dog for the one they lost. Thank you for all of you encouragement it means a lot. Day 4 is tomarrow and more days after that. I am so happy.

[MFS79]

Thank you all for ur posts it means a lot. I crossedy mined that this is a test. I did not take any thing. My dad took the big dog to the vet becuz he was still alive. He has no broken bones or internal injury. He has a little bit if blood in his lungs. He is staying over night for obseeevation and we should be able to bring him he tomarrow. What makes it hardest is my kids. But I have to stay strong for them. 2 days down. I can do this.

[LeaAnn807]

I am so sorry about your dogs!  That's a hateful thing to do and is just heartbreaking any time.  I can't imagine knowingly taking a pet's life and not telling anyone that I was sorry.  Just couldn't do it!  

I know it doesn't feel like it now, but using wouldn't make you feel a bit better.  And if you do, you'll have sadness over your dog plus guilt for using when you're like halfway through this or even a little more.  Losing your dogs is a tragedy for you, but you don't wanna let another one happen on top of it.  So, do your best to stay focused on what you're doing here.  I know that is much easier for me to say than for you to actually do.  I don't mean to sound cold at all.  I just want you to get clean and have this behind you.  By the weekend, you will feel much better and maybe you can do something nice in memory of your dogs.  (I don't have pets, but I have my entire life, and I sure do feel bad for you!)

Hang in there!  You can still do this!

[evolv]

i think a lot of us are here because we turned to (more) pills to escape feeling things... i was in the middle of a taper last year and my fiance broke up with me (on my birthday), and 3 close friends passed away all in one month - all of a sudden my "taper" turned into twice my normal dosage. every time i get close to coming off the pills, the memories and feelings come rolling back. there isn't any escaping it - only postponing. and since you are clean now, don't go back there, it's not worth it. you will only put off the inevitable. it's NOT worth it. it's terrible but you need to feel those feelings and the more you do, the better you will become at coping and moving forward without the numbing effect of the pills. hang on. you can do it.

[YesLife4Me]

First of all, I am so sorry that someone would just leave your pups like that.  That is just horrible!   Secondly, I can't help but wonder how many of us are put to the test so close to wd with situations that would normally drive us to take a couple pills to escape our feelings.   Whatever you do, don't take anything...you will restart the process and in the end it doesn't solve your problems.    Part of getting clean is facing life without drugs...good and bad.   Using just isn't an option.   It's like pouring poison down our throats.   And I am really truly sorry to hear about your pups.  

[Teresa1717]

OMG I am SOOO sorry!!! What a horrible and tragic thing to happen to your pups! :( I know how hard it is to lose your "best friend", I lost both of mine this year. Just stay strong and dont use this as an excuse to use! As others have told me in recent days, using is not an option! And truer words havent been spoken!

Again, Im so sorry for your puppies...

[MFS79]

My second day being clean and I go out side to find 2 of my dog got out  of the back yard and were hit by a car. The little one died rt away the big one he was laying in the front yard still alive. I was starting to feel pretty good about my second day clean.

[YesLife4Me]

Just take it minute to minute if you have to.   Every minute and hour you don't use, the further away from this nightmare of wd's are almost over.   Hang in there!  

[MFS79]

Day 2 and I am up earlier that yesterday. Wil will see how this day goes. I was up every 2 hours with restless legs. I was very irritating. But I still got sleep. Lets see how today goes.

[clean_in_ks]

Day one......great start.  My dad (who died in 1999) used to tell one of my sisters this all the time....I thought of it just now "You can't get to second base unless you take your foot off first".

Simple, but good.  I watched the clock every 5 or 10 minutes those first days, then every hour and pretty soon that clock sped up!!!

It's a cinch by the inch........and hard by the yard.  Baby steps, girl you CAN do this!!!

[MFS79]

Thank u all. I have slept most of the day. I just got up and ate some soup.  My husband is working on dinner, so I am going to shower and go back to bed. I hope tomarrow is a better day. Thank u all

[Pat1956100]

Try changing your attitude and telling yourself you CAN do this.  It works.
You are almost through 1 day.  Everyone is different so you could be over the worst soon.  Just hang in there and stay positive.  Think about opening those presents on Christmas morning with your kids, sober.

You CAN do this.

[YesLife4Me]

Hey there!    I know what you are feeling, but trust me...if you reach out for a pill, you will reset yourself and have to do this again.   Is that what you really want?    I know you don't, but play it out til the end.   Envision where that will lead you.   Right now write yourself a list of reasons you are quitting and the consequences if you don't.    Then when you want to use, look at your list.   It helps to embrace what you are going through as giving birth to a new you rather than this s*cks.  

[Leaveurfearsbehind]

Just take it a hour at a time or a minute at a time if you have to. When I was going thru wd's every hour seemed like a day but it does get better. Stay busy and take lots of hot baths. Imodium helps with the wd's. Check out the Thomas recipe also. Wishing you the best of luck.

[MFS79]

U am 21 hues with out a pill. U feel like I can't  do this like I am not strong enough to do this. I want a pill so bad rt now. I feel like I am going crazy. When does this feeling end?

[LeaAnn807]

That will be awesome!  I'm so excited for you and wish you all the best luck!  We'll help ya!

I just thought of something as I was typing.  With you having diabetes and high blood pressure, have you talked to your doc about doing this this way?  Just trying to keep you safe! I honestly don't know about the diabetes, but I do know for a fact that BP does go up, sometimes dangerously high, during opiate withdrawal.  

Just trying to think of everything! Don't mean to be Debbie-Downer! LOL  Good luck, honey! :)

[dominosarah]

You can do this and yes, it is awesome to watch your kids open their presents clean~

[OpenMind24hours]

Keep believing in yourself. That willingness is all it takes. You've set a good goal, you've made a decision to meet your goal, and you're on your way. You can do this and we're here to help. Seeing you win will help us in return. Best of luck to you!