This community helps and keeps,this addict Clean/sober

Hello,to all New,old and casual viewers of the Med-help Addiction recovery site.My name is John Kelly i Live in Toronto,Canada. I have been a member opproximately 1yr,or a little more.I am a polysubstance user/abuser i am 49yrs of age and 3-months ago i had anoperation to re-surface my left-hip,also 2 low-back operations in 1990 and 1993.This is a little personal history to help my fellow members when they respond to my posts.The next is an OPOLOGY to any member that i was insenitive,rude or skeptical of.I was Permanently Banned by Med-help for being critical of some of the posts that people print.I will in the future if i read (example I take 70 percocets a day,os anything that would cause the persons Liver to Fail,I wont let that get me upset) WE are all here,because possibly some of us are not all there!!! .In the post i would act like a prosecuter and interrogate abny claim i felt was an imbellishment,or straight-out Lie.My mission now is to (Live and let live) My drug history includes i am currently on 25mgs of methadone,and when i have money im in danger of buying copious amounts of crack-cocaine and spending all my money including the Last-months rent in 2-day binge. I look forward to working with all of the members of the community. all the best John

[gizzy32]

Hey johnny! i actually remember that 70 percs a day post. If someone wants to lie about their recovery, it's their loss, not ours so it's best to not let that stuff get to ya. I'm assuming your back, i have talked to you a couple times and you have given me some advice about cocaine. Did you currently relapse with crack or did i read that wrong? hope you don't mind me asking, i know how tough this is man. best of luck to ya.

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Always good to read  post like yours - but about the perc's.....did you not think a person could take 70 in a day? Ya better readjust what you consider copious amounts if you dont think that some of us were actually taking that many of these stupid pills.....I havent taken that many in a year and a half but I did get pretty out of hand for awhile. One coke smuggler in Tampa called it "world class abuse" - he races hydroplanes....but yes, my liver is at a stage four - and there is no stage five..................stay straight....

[johnnykelly]

Thanks for your response.Yes onAug 31When i get my monthlt w.s.i.b. check $2200.00 per month,until i reach the age of 65yrs.Gizzy Cocaine in powder,or crack form is my unfortunate drug of choice,of all the substances that i have used or that i consider problematic,that is THE WORST,IAM TOTALLY POWERLESS ONCE I TAKE THE FIRST HIT<TOKE  I literally consider suicide after a devastating binge with cocaine.I went on this relapse to a new depth,i spent the rent money of $850.00. THE minute the money is directly deposited in my account,i become Powerless. THIS month i had some jewelry in the Pawn-shop and it was on the 13th-month,you only get 12,but i phoned and they extended it for 1 additional month.I renewed the slip by paying 85.00 that the yearly interest on the $250.00 loan they gave me.While there i also purchased a 1yr,old 27inch t.v. All good so far.Then once home i went grocerie shopping and spent $150.00 on food another good thing,but While at the market i ran into a guy friend and his crack-head girlfriend,they where also shopping,but they informed me that they ran into our DEALER and bought a $60.00 piece and said they did a toke in the alley.AS we left I ask for a#10.00 toke to do when i get home and then i will call the dealer and come over.Gizzy i asked the dealer if he could sell me a Quarter once for $300.00,he wanted 350,so i said i would take a ball for $200.oo. Brother i was supposed to get a $850.oo money order for my rent,I didnt. This story to sum it up i left their place 2-days later with only a Bus ticket,feeling like a piece o U-know.Since then i have got a sponser and have been going each day,or night sometimes both to meetings.I know this was long,but thank for being there John in Toronto

[johnnykelly]

HI EAGLE,I was once a few years ago visiting 5-doctors for perks each month.I put the biggest hitter on my drug plan and wentto for different independant pharmacies and paid cash for the other 4RXS. this person said !dr. gave her 800 perks every 2-weeks. I have taken 30 to 40 on a few accasions,but to maintain 70-a day Thats in my opinion a TALL-Tail Thanks for your input john

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

I have to admit that keeping up a 70 pill habit would be a bit much. Thats one reason I like it here better! Here is another one for you - you and gizzy are both from the great white north? How many people do you think are just buying those 8mg codeines and taking mega doses of acetaminophen? I have chatted with some folks that should have been dead from acetaminophen toxicity a decade ago! Wonderful testimony to the human body - and another reason not to fill it with pills. And I have to say that 70 was probably a "peak" dose ....sorta like methadone ... a dose that keeps one person straight may just grease another poor soul.....its tricky stuff.........

[johnnykelly]

YES Bro,our American brothers buy them NASTY tylenol #1 The codien was not a favourite of mine even tylenol#4-60mgs of codien,it would be safer on the liver to try to obtain the codien phosphate,no cut. seeya