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This is really long-trying to figure it out-sorry

by coconuts27, Apr 29, 2008 11:12PM
Hi everybody. It's been a while since I've really posted on here, I had all but given up trying to quit my bad habits. So I'm gonna explain what's goin on and hope that you guys can help me figure it out.
For the last two years, I pretty much took two norco 10/325 per day. Maybe a little more now and then, maybe a little less. I got them from my boyfriend and stayed right around 60 a month.
So on January 23, we broke up. I had this rebellious attitude, knew better than to try coke, but really didn't care. I was depressed and self concious. For some crazy reason I thought I could do coke as a diet drug  and a f#!k it drug and quit when I was ready. Yeah right!!!
When I started, I'd spend like $20 a day, in about a week it was $50. Now, who knows how much, a bf gives it to me and my friend on heroine for next to nothing or even a ride for his drugs. But anyway, I've tried to quit twice, first on my own. I got so depressed I checked myself in to the psych unit and was discharged the next day. The second time my psych agreed to detox me on the psych unit, but we had a disagreement and he discharged me the second day. So now I'm ready to try again.
And really try this time. I realize I'm on my own, no one can help me (well besides you guys and your awesome support and encouragement). I have written down my goals, what I need to do to achieve them, and what's holding me back. I am moving to Florida on June 9. I am selling everything and completely starting over. I already have a great job lined up that I'm pretty sure is mine, I don't want any drugs holding me back. I dropped out of school with a 3.7 gpa, I quit work, I dont eat or sleep, I only see my kids on the weekend, and I still dont have any patience for them. All I want is norco, cocaine, cigarettes, mountain dew, and sex. How did this get so outta control??? I know that so many of you tried to tell me, and I so wish I woulda listened.
So now all of a sudden, I've gone thru like 100 pills in 23 days. I've NEVER used that much before. I had teeth pulled, so of course I used that as an excuse (but I really think its the coke bothering my teeth). The cocaine has gotten horrible. I don't know how much I do cuz I never pay. I know I do 2-3 lines before I even have my morning cigarette. I've gone thru 8balls in just a few days. I carry it in my bra all the time and pills in my purse. I spend the day in my bed, but if I must leave, I do it in the car, the bathroom, wherever. All of a sudden I cant leave the house without my drugs. I'm doing lines at least every hour unless I'm with my ex or my kids. And what's worse, I cant even keep it in my nose. You'd think I was allergic to it the way it messes with my nose.
I want my life back. I was a great mom. I ran an awesome home daycare for cryin out loud!!! I was smart and pretty. Now I look like hell and I'm always sick with "allergies"
So my plan is to run completely out of drugs sometime tomorrow, then go c/t. Well almost. The doc prescribed wellbutrin, I want to take that. I gave my ex the recipe for the amino acid protocol and the thomas recipe. Can I combine those? I thought the aminos would give me energy. And what about neurontin? My ex has that and I heard that it works for opiate w/d's. I told my bf and my ex that I didnt want anymore drugs. Of course my ex dont believe me, but the other is being very supportive. I think he only bought my stuff cuz I scared him by going to the hospital. But anyways, I'm prepared to lay in the house and feel like **** for a week. I think once I get over the physical w/ds I'll be ok. So I guess I just need to know which detox aides I should use. I want to set make sure I set myself up for success this time. Am I forgetting anything? Thanks so much for taking time to read this. I probably shoulda wrote it in my journal, but I really need all the help and support I can get. Thanks again.
Member Comments (9)

by cathy5841, Apr 29, 2008 11:25PM
wow, i am glad you are getting prepared.  at least there are no physical w/ds from the coke.  it a ll mental, and one he!! of a battle.  but, you can do this if you are determined not to be deterred.  i know nothing about the aminos and the thomas recipe.  i just wanted to throw some support your way and let you know if you need to talk during all this just pm me.  i will listen.   good luck and someone will be along soon that  can answer your questions.
cathy

by Flutterby111, Apr 29, 2008 11:32PM
NO honey, this is the perfect place to write it.  You've got a plan for detox, and your moving to FLorida...with or without your kids?  With your bf?  The physical w/d's are just the beginning my friend.  It's the emotional w/d's and mind games that are the tough ones.  You should look for NA groups in your area which is easy to do.  Google NA meetings and the state you're in.  Or if you have coverage look for outpatient treatment.  It's going to be the aftercare to help KEEP clean.  Getting clean is one thing, staying clean is hard.  I've been down alot of roads with different drugs.  The pills was definately the worst of my life.  I WAS 7 weeks clean and it was hard.  I had cravings everyday.  Now I have a different plan, which includes NA meetings, possible outpatient if I can get it covered and some other stuff.  Here is good for support.  Some say AA is better, that NA is "cultish" I forget who here said that, but to me I identified much more with NA.  I mean, you can substitute the words and adjust it to suit you, but I feel better around people on drugs-go figure.  Good luck to you.  Keep posting. ☺

by SableZen, Apr 29, 2008 11:38PM
A lot of what you would be taking (including neurontin) cause drowsiness - which is not a bad thing if you can lay in bed. But be careful if you have to be up and about, especially if you need to drive anywhere.

Look up the specific interactions between Wellbutrin and the listed supplements. Most antidepressants shouldn't be taken with a lot of those things. Wellbutrin is different from most of SSRIs and MAOIs so I'm really not sure if it's ok to or not.

by Flutterby111, Apr 29, 2008 11:59PM
In reference to Sable's comment you can actually call your nurse triage line if your doctor's office has one-I have mine on speed dial, or call your local pharmacy-to find out about the interactions.  that's ALWAYS a good idea.  Always.  GL sweetie.

by coconuts27, Apr 30, 2008 12:28AM
Thanks for replying everyone. I'm going to Florida with only my youngest daughter and possibly my cousin to help with babysitting until I get settled. The older kids are staying with my mom for a year. They dont want to leave and it would just be easier for me. I dont know a soul down there, and that's how I want it. I need time to clear my head and focus on me and my baby. I worry that I might be lonely, but I'm finding a therapist as soon as I get there. My boyfriend is talking about moving a half hour from me in the fall, but who knows. I'll start work two weeks after my arrival, and the job offers benifits from day one.
As far as what to take, I'm a little confused. I can lay in bed as long as I want. But the wellbutrin is a stimulant. Maybe I should take the neurontin and use the thomas recipe until my flu is over, then switch to the wellbutrin and aminos??? I will check the drug interactions, good idea, wouldn't thought of it for vitamins.
I am so scared of N/A. I know that everyone there has problems, but I just dont want a reputation. People trust me with their kids. And I quit daycare just before the cocaine started, but if this gets out, I'll never have a daycare here again. I will stick with this forum and find a good therapist who's experienced with addiction. I think thats my best bet.
Thanks Again,
LaDonna

by lilyput, Apr 30, 2008 12:35AM
To: coconuts
i'd be careful taking wellbutrin while detoxing off the norco. wellbutrin increases the likelihood of seizures which are always a concern when going c/t off barbiturates.

i don't know if wellbutrin would be counterindicated during norco detox or not, but i'd certainly ask a pharmacist or doc before going ahead with it.

good luck...sending lots of positive vibes your way!

lily

by coconuts27, Apr 30, 2008 12:38AM
Thanks, I'll be sure to look into that. And thanks for the positive vibes, I can feel them already @--%---

by Flutterby111, Apr 30, 2008 12:45AM
Is Norco a barbituate?  I though it was a Narcotic?!  Isn't it just vicoden?  I have no clue, that is why I'm asking....

Well my dear, NA is exactly that Narcotics ANONYMOUS, but I understand your fear.  You can't trust everyone.  But how would anyone find out?  Really? If someone saw YOU there, that'd mean THEY were there...just a thought.   think about SOME support group.  

by SableZen, Apr 30, 2008 12:45AM
Your right! Wellbutrin has stimulant-like effect. That's why there actually may be some non-beneficial interactions with L-Tyrosine, SamE, and 5 HTP.

Wellbutrin will alter your dopamine levels (stimulant-like which will make you more energetic). Some of the supplements alter serotonin levels (depressive-effects which will make you drowsy). Which is why I'm pretty sure there may be some non-beneficial interactions going on there. Even though Wellbutrin isn't an SSRI or MAOI.
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