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Avatar universal

This time is it and I feel good about it!

Hi everyone, I know I pop in here and there but I've still yet to accomplish sobriety so, even though i want to stop badly I didnt want to jepradize(SP?) anyone's path to recovery. So with that being said, After many atempts to quit and many talks and plans with my husband who shares my addiction to oxy's. Since we can't tell ANYONE this time we can only rely on each-other to help each other through this. We have 2 young childdren who mean the world to us and so here's our plan. We are going to detox ourselves @ home one at a time. Has anyone done this before with their husband/boyfriend/partner? He will go first, because he's alot stronger then I am starting this friday. He will stay in the bedroom and I will get him what ever he needs and take care of the house and kids so he has NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, if he wants to sleep, or try to sleep it off for the first 4 days he can. I've stocked up on some of the things I've read in Junkies posts and set up his playstation in the bedroom, got some books some magazines, refilled my script for ambbiens, then next friday I will go. This way we can tell our families we must have caught the flu from eachother and one can take care of the house, kids etc...while the other has nothing to worry about except to gt this monkey off our back once and for all. I'm open to any and all advice to things (herbs, otc stuff) that has helped make the ride a little more bearable.  I have a really good feeling about doing it this way. The past few times we've tried to quit we've done it at the same time so, needless to say it didnt work out well. I have really bad anxiety where he doesnt, I cant sleep where he can, and it would just cause fights. So when next friday( my day) comes, i will have my laptop in bed with me and i will try to post as much as I can to talk or vent or whatever. I know there are wonderfull people on here who have gone through this and can offer some encouraging and kind words. So again, any and all advice will be greatly appreciated to help me help my hubby get through this so hopefully when by time its my turn he will feel up to it to help me, it will be day 8 for him when my day 1 comes........so im open    :)
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352798 tn?1399298154
Stay in touch with us. We need to know that things are OK. Good luck. You guys are going to make it.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
As of right now, my husband doesnt have a screen name. I will try to encourage him to vent in some way, weather its this forum, another one, a journal. Something. As for keeping the house stocked, i will go to thr grocery store a few times probably, to keep well stocked on bananas, blueberries, slimfast, special k protien water, gaterade, bottled water and everything ive found on any list around. i'm also gonna get him some word puzzles, magazines, books, i set up his playstation in the bedroom, and while he's detoxong i will stay on the couch, plus its a tradition in our family that on the weekends we sually alway camp out in the livingroom together, so i'll just do that w/ my daughter while daddy has "the flu". ans then next week when he's feeling a bit better, ooopps, mommy caught what daddy had. that what we will say to our families too. and the way it works out when my weekend starts, my daughter will be starting feb vacation si i wont have to worry about waking up early when my hubbby has to go back to work, my kids are late sleepers, so hopefully that wont be an issue for me.
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Avatar universal
Sounds like THE plan.

May I suggest that U and hubby sleep in seperate beds during both detox times.  The one detoxing will need his/her space to flip flop in bed life a fish out of water!

Thomas Recipe helps w/appetite.  Have house well stocked w/foods before each detox.

Cool Mentol Creams helps w/burning aches along w/hot baths w/epsom salt.

Have laptop nearby person detoxing so he/she can vent!  

I look forward to hearing from you both.  What is hubbys screen name?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Well, I've been 2 both AA & NA & I have 2 say that it will help u TREMENDOUSLY & it's a GREAT way 2 stay clean. The ONLY difference between them is that one is specified for alcohol & the other the other is narcotics-but they both do  the same thing-they both encourage u to quit & stay clean-but the AA is geared more for alcohol-but it's still a drug. So, my advice, go with your friend-it'll be alot easier to attend with a friend-no shame or embarrassment, plus u can get a sponsor who will be there to call whenever u feel the need to use again. This is a GREAT idea!!
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Avatar universal
You've made a good decision to do it separately, for the kids sake and also so you can help each other.   Two people in withdrawl in the same place would be not be a pretty picture.  I think it would be best to give him one more week, he'll be much more patient and clearer.  Look at the thomas recipe and use the amino acids and vitamins to help get your brain and body back to normal.  Make sure to not take those suboxone unless you/he is in full withdrawl (all the opiates out of your system) or you'll have really really bad withdrawls. you could use them to lessen withdrawal but you should keep tapering each dose down to even half doses, quarter doses to even shavings. Of course this will take longer to get off but may be a bit milder.  Half of the battle to recovery is knowing what may cause relapse and being ready for it.  Like knowing about the money, its good that there are 2 of you and you can keep each other accountable.  Invest it or do something FUN with the kids and remember how good life can be when not under the control of a substance.  You'll also have alot more money not blowing it on pills.   Be proud of yourself for continueing to better your life. Failure is only a life lesson to figure out how to do something differently and thats exactly what you're doing!    A famous rehab quote is "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a DIFFERENT outcome".     Wake up every morning, say a prayer, and say "I Can Do This!!!!"  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Speaking of after care is there a bug difference between AA and NA. One of my very close friends has been a recovering alcoholic for about 2 or 3 years now, she attends AA meetings on a daily basis, she knows a little bit about whats happening in my life and said she'd love for me to go to some meetings with her. Will I benefit the same from an AA meeting as I would and NA meeting? Has anyone done or been to both? Is this forum part of a good after care plan. I woul dlove to hear some ideas or plans that have worked for others.
Helpful - 0
390416 tn?1275185087
Glad you're here....sounds like you guys have thought this out carefully and it ...sounds like a plan to me. I like that..got the flu ..gave it to the other!!! Good luck and I'll be on here supporting you...you can do this....

When your tax $$ comes..you should still be on here posting...that way you'll be less tempted to spend it on the wrong things.....we'll talk about that nexxt week...AFTERCARE...the things we need to do to STAY clean,,cuz to be real honest..if you don't have a plan for aftercare (something to deal w/ the mental part...the recovery ...dealing with the issues that keep us out there using)..your chances of relapsing are high.

Take care and keep posting!!!!
Helpful - 0
352798 tn?1399298154
Well if you need someone to hold the money, I volunteer. Not sure you'll get it back, though. LOL Getting clean will be so much better. You will get your life back.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
oh we're up to 2-3 80mg oc's a day each. Some days more some days less, depending on our money situation. I'd say this has been going on for about a year and a half. If not a little less, the past 6, 7, 8, months its been an everyday thing. Sometims we try to not do anything for at least a day or two to give ourselves and our wallets a break but its that rollercoaster, as soon as we get $$ thats the first thing we think of. One reason why we wnat to quit so bad it because our tax refund will be comming n and if we're all messed up it willgo to all the wrong things, at the samt time when it comes in we'll only be cllean for about a month so it still makes me very very nrevous to come across a large ammount of $$$ while in the very begining of recovery. I'd like to give ot to one of our parents to hold on to but both sets our very judgemental and  we will get 101 queations if we even asked for ten bucks out of it ya know.
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Avatar universal
Thanks guy's. Angel, thats so awsome that you feel good on day 4. Did you do a taper or c/t.  Yes, I will completely cater to him while he's "in the bedroom" we have a porch that we go out in sit on right off our bedroom so its perfect if he or myself wants to get some fresh air or read a book outside. I just have a good feeling about the way we chose to do it, i really think its going to work for us and our situation, being that we cant tell family at all. When my time comes to detox ( next friday) you can be i will post as much as physically possible. Even though my husband is a great help he doesnt get the mental part of it.I get really bad anxiety and he just doesnt get it ya know, so I will definitely be leaning on you guys for support.
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Avatar universal
u have made the right descision to stop....ur story is alot like mine and my husbands...we were also oxy addicts (80,gs 3-6 a day) we both quit c/t and r now 2.5 months clean.....how long and how much r u taking?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Well,I'm really rooting 4 u! I never tried Oxy's-but I'm on day 4 of Lortab detox & 2day was the 1st that I've been outta bed & I feel great! I'm sooo proud of myself!! I know that it's probably gonna be harder 2 detox off of Oxy's than tabs..??? But, if u put your mind 2 it & cater 2 your husband as much as u can w/out getting frustrated that you're doing EVERYTHING w/the kids-it'll work out!! GOOD LUCK!!
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352798 tn?1399298154
Good luck with this. I am impressed with your decision. You can do this. Keep posting, we'll be here for you.
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Avatar universal
yeah, we checked into it but there's only a few where we live and they all have really long waiting lists. A friend of ours gave us 5 to start of with but my husband said since he has the time to w/d by himself with nothing to worry about he might not even take the suboxone route. He thinks the w/d's will be over sooner if he just roughs it out. I dont know about that though. I know it seems really close toether but it's either this way or we try to do it together again, which has proved time and time again it just doesnt work for us, we always fight over who gets more sleep or who feels better then the other. We figured this way, the one who is detoxing at the time has no worries while the other takes care of lifes duties. I've also talked to one o my close friends, who I confided in about our problem and she said she would help out by stopping by and helping with the kids or whatever, especially if he still feels bad that second week while I'm detoxing. He usually feels better after a week so he's fairly confident that he'll be up to par to be there for me, thats why he's going first. I have to say this is the first time Im looking foward to detox. Just because i know Ill have no worries about the house or kids or anything like that. I can just stay in bed if i want and try my harddest to sleep through the worst first few  days.
Helpful - 0
352798 tn?1399298154
it will be a fun place in two weeks when you both are going through it. That may be too close together. Have you thought about a Suboxone Dr?
Helpful - 0
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