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Thomas Recipe----the man who made it
I was searching around the forum and found a post from the "Thomas Recipe" man. I thought I would share it with you. His first post makes me know that quiting now is my only chance. I hope it is food for thought for others.
Thomas02
12/23/2002
C9 ChiTownGirl Since our doc here is not an MD anyway, I can tell you what I've learned studying the latest literature -- at least the latest to be translated for laymen. The liver is principally affected by the additives in pain pills -- chiefly, tylenol. But I'm sure you knew that.
The other organ damaged by long-term opiate use is, unfortunately, the brain. Over time, the brain physically changes to adapt to the constant presence of opiates. When the opiates are withdrawn, the brain cannot function normally. This is why so many of us frequently say we are using simply to feel normal. Non-users think we're using the word normal instead of high. But the latest research tells us we are more correct that we could ever know. Researchers compare the brains of long-term opiate addicts to that of stroke victims. Without the continued use of opiates, the long-term addict must struggle as a stroke victim struggles to utilize new neural pathways to achieve a semblance of normality.
I have used opiates contantly for 30, no, 31 years. There is no way back for me. 31 years of changes in my brain cannot be undone by all the 12-step meetings in the world. My doom is sealed by my physiology. That is why, as much as I don't like the idea, I am applying for methadone maintenance. Detox for me is a waste of time. I've detoxed myself 50 times and, each time, there I sit, with a brain that can no longer function without opiates. Time does not heal all things.
I tell this story, probably too often, because for many on this forum, the way back is still open. From the point at which one begins recovery, the great dramas and opportunities of life expand in all directions to infinity. Don't throw away your chance to play a role in the world as I have.
Thomas
Thomas02
12/23/2002
C17 saveyourself Thank you for your eloquent and incisive reply. I truly believe that it is empathetic (and even not so empathetic) contact with fellow addicts on this and other forums that keeps me from a life on the streets, bereft of family, job, home and hope. You're correct; I am most humbly the Thomas of the recipe, which benefited not only from my own limitless opportunities to refine self-detox methods, but also from many, many addicts from all over the world who selflessly contributed their own knowledge and experience.
Of course, you may reprint my original post and use it in any way that suits you.
Just don't waste any pity on the likes of me. I fell in love with opiates the first time I used them and have pursued this affair with a ruthlessness that would impress the ghosts of Hitler and Stalin. I have become what I am by my own hand. That I did it for love only suggests that I may have a genetic predisposition for opiate addiction, or some psychological defect that only opiates can correct. After 3 decades, I still don't really know ...
But addiction or no, there is much joy in my life. As I write this, I'm listening to Beethoven's miraculous transition from the second movement to the scherzo of his 5th piano concerto. Gloria, in Excelsius Deo! Take care and best of luck in your own struggle.
Thomas
Thomas02
12/23/2002
C9 ChiTownGirl Since our doc here is not an MD anyway, I can tell you what I've learned studying the latest literature -- at least the latest to be translated for laymen. The liver is principally affected by the additives in pain pills -- chiefly, tylenol. But I'm sure you knew that.
The other organ damaged by long-term opiate use is, unfortunately, the brain. Over time, the brain physically changes to adapt to the constant presence of opiates. When the opiates are withdrawn, the brain cannot function normally. This is why so many of us frequently say we are using simply to feel normal. Non-users think we're using the word normal instead of high. But the latest research tells us we are more correct that we could ever know. Researchers compare the brains of long-term opiate addicts to that of stroke victims. Without the continued use of opiates, the long-term addict must struggle as a stroke victim struggles to utilize new neural pathways to achieve a semblance of normality.
I have used opiates contantly for 30, no, 31 years. There is no way back for me. 31 years of changes in my brain cannot be undone by all the 12-step meetings in the world. My doom is sealed by my physiology. That is why, as much as I don't like the idea, I am applying for methadone maintenance. Detox for me is a waste of time. I've detoxed myself 50 times and, each time, there I sit, with a brain that can no longer function without opiates. Time does not heal all things.
I tell this story, probably too often, because for many on this forum, the way back is still open. From the point at which one begins recovery, the great dramas and opportunities of life expand in all directions to infinity. Don't throw away your chance to play a role in the world as I have.
Thomas
Thomas02
12/23/2002
C17 saveyourself Thank you for your eloquent and incisive reply. I truly believe that it is empathetic (and even not so empathetic) contact with fellow addicts on this and other forums that keeps me from a life on the streets, bereft of family, job, home and hope. You're correct; I am most humbly the Thomas of the recipe, which benefited not only from my own limitless opportunities to refine self-detox methods, but also from many, many addicts from all over the world who selflessly contributed their own knowledge and experience.
Of course, you may reprint my original post and use it in any way that suits you.
Just don't waste any pity on the likes of me. I fell in love with opiates the first time I used them and have pursued this affair with a ruthlessness that would impress the ghosts of Hitler and Stalin. I have become what I am by my own hand. That I did it for love only suggests that I may have a genetic predisposition for opiate addiction, or some psychological defect that only opiates can correct. After 3 decades, I still don't really know ...
But addiction or no, there is much joy in my life. As I write this, I'm listening to Beethoven's miraculous transition from the second movement to the scherzo of his 5th piano concerto. Gloria, in Excelsius Deo! Take care and best of luck in your own struggle.
Thomas
He is so honest. I knew the opiates were messing with my mind but I had no idea what they could really do. Very sobering to read something like that. I am so glad you posted that - I am sitting here today and dead tired. I was actually thinking that I could take a pill, just one, and have a little energy. I hate feeling like this. Another long day in recovery and it sucks! Sorry I am just not in the best of moods.
shelby
shelby
When I read that it really got me thinking. I don't want to end up like that and I am so early into it. We all have a fighting chance if we can get this under control. I wonder what ever happened to him? I also wonder if he ever reads the forum. I am sorry you are feeling so down dear. I am here for you.
Hug to ya,
Tim
Hug to ya,
Tim
I have ten years of use and it makes me wonder what long term affects that will cause. (I can't believe it has been that long.) The funny thing is that I knew it was making a mess of my mind and I never cared.
((((Tim))))
Thank you for being here.
shelby
((((Tim))))
Thank you for being here.
shelby
I'm a little, (A LOT), miffed at the fact that I was changing the physiology of my brain and didn't know it.... I did not now these pills were heroin in pill form... I did not know really what heroin was or does to the physiology of the brain. I had no idea that we were "creating" more receptors to play catch with the opiates. I just ................................ This is a question that DutchessGolden could answer I bet..... Dutchess are you available for this one???
Here goes.
WHAT I REALLY WANT TO KNOW NOW IS HOW LONG IT TAKES TO CHANGE IT BACK.... OR EVEN IF WE CAN NOW?????????????????
I'm motivated right now to do some digging and will be back and post all of this at top cause this is very, (I'll bet), Important to all of us.
This is an excellant thread! Thanx Tim for starting this one... gonna work on it.
Here goes.
WHAT I REALLY WANT TO KNOW NOW IS HOW LONG IT TAKES TO CHANGE IT BACK.... OR EVEN IF WE CAN NOW?????????????????
I'm motivated right now to do some digging and will be back and post all of this at top cause this is very, (I'll bet), Important to all of us.
This is an excellant thread! Thanx Tim for starting this one... gonna work on it.
His post really got my wheels turning. I think it is great you are going to research this. I think he was very direct and honest.
Tim
Tim
I have done some extensive studies on drug use and the consequences. One of the best sites I found was this one: http://www.dpeg.org/treatment/methadone_withdrawal.htm
This site tells of many different things that you can do to help your body, and brain recover. I have ordered the list of items that is suggested here and the total cost was about $150.00 before shipping and handling, but for the sake of me I thought it was well worth the cost. If you have any questions, feel free to address a post to me, or you can e-mail me at renegade.***@****. For all you spammers out there, it will only take 1 letter then you will be gone, so don't waste your time, gmail has terric spam blockers. But those of you who do have questions, feel free to write me.
Ren
This site tells of many different things that you can do to help your body, and brain recover. I have ordered the list of items that is suggested here and the total cost was about $150.00 before shipping and handling, but for the sake of me I thought it was well worth the cost. If you have any questions, feel free to address a post to me, or you can e-mail me at renegade.***@****. For all you spammers out there, it will only take 1 letter then you will be gone, so don't waste your time, gmail has terric spam blockers. But those of you who do have questions, feel free to write me.
Ren
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