I guess the title kind of gives you an idea of what im going to write about.
I'm 28yrs old was in a mild auto accident back in Jan 2010 then a non-auto injury back in Sept. 2011 and then last auto accident in Jan Friday the 13th 2012. So yea, things havent been so great for my back, either way I've been taking Vicodin 7.5 up to 6 a day plus the muscle relaxer. I need to get off these pills, I have noticed the change in my mood and attention to detail have turned for the worse.
As we all know our economy well *****.. I'm fortunet to have a great amazing job which i just got about 7 months ago. I dont want to lose it. More importantly I have a 5yr old amazing son. I feel/know these pills are now getting in the way of my daily life. I never really knew i could get this bad as i have tried other harder drugs (younger days) and never really had a addiction problem. If i stopped i stopped. was simple but with the pills I feel the W/D are what cause me to go back. But I told myself today I need to stop so. I'm stopping as of today.
I guess I'm here for support. I know i can do it. Especially the life style i was brought up in. I'm not privliaged or have a trust fund or have mommy or daddy caring for me. yet i wish i did :) no lie. I guess i fear that this back pain is going to get to me that will make me go back, I've looked in to everything from back surgery to natural treatment. either to expensive or to risky for my health. I think the only way to really get through the withdrawals again yes again ive done this before was to stay really busy during the day and smoke weed or drink weed tea. I know I know its still a drug but not addicting and helps me eat and sleep to be honest clears my head up at night...
Reason why i really need to let this go.
Well my son few days ago saw me popping pills and he gave me this very uncomfortable stare and it made me feel very guilty. Main reason i really need to let these pills go.
second my job im up for a promotion in a few months and if i get it thats a 10k pay increase yearly.
third is i want to feel love.. as stupid as it sounds i dont remember how it feels. yea i just broke up with my G/F a few weeks ago. And i do blame the pills but i blame her to. Any ways thats another story..
Wish me luck the jorney begins today :) .. kind of exciting really. O yea im getting a new apartment this Feb plus my new car :) I know pills will kill this hard work.
Sounds like you have a lot going for you and you have the right attitude. How long were you and your girlfriend together?
You will find a lot of support here. You say you have been through this before and you are positive you can do it. That's great and I would be glad to hear that you did. However, be careful. I don't know that I have ever seen anybody quit with just pride. It is mostly fear and submission. Either way just a warning, good luck.
Well first time I stopped was because I didn’t really have the intense back pain plus I hated caring around the pills and getting the scripts (I don’t like Doctors) personal opinion. So I just stopped and I didnt get W/D I was to busy chasing around a 3yr old at the time with that comes a lot of exercise, I started again on the second accident I had after that been downhill from there.. I quit with pride because that’s something the pills won’t take from me it controls everything else right now but not my pride. I guess that’s main reason why I’ve made it so far in my career and small accomplishments. MY PRIDE :). I was with my ex for 2 years gave or take a few months. She really wasn’t on my level when it came to goals and responsibility. Like I said long story there.
I met a guy in treatment about 5 months ago. He was full time military and came in for detox off of pain pills. He had no past traumas that effected him, he had no mental disorders, and he was happy. I forgot about him but yes he was on the medicine for a long time but after the first 3 days of his physical w/ds he came around, his personality kicked in and I have talked to him since then and he never even thinks about them. I don't know how you relate to him but I say that there are people who get on them and come off them with no mental issues. So I guess what I am saying is with your success and your cockiness you may actually be one of the exceptions to the rule. I hope that I understand this dynamic some day so that I will have a little bit more knowledge about why some people don't get addicted. A therapist told me once that some people are born addicts and some people are not and the ones who are not could never be addicted. I disagreed with him then and I disagree with him now but I don't understand how the brain works fully and he said it was genetic too which I don't know a lot about either. Good Luck with this and your promotion. If you ever experience some trauma that turns your world upside down brace yourself for pain and be mindful of the thing you know takes it away. Nice to meet you friend : )
To be honest, I have an uncle so was a meth addict that turned to pill popper,hes been an addict for the last 22+/- yrs... he is now 45 yrs old lives with mom no family no life just eats sleeps and gets high. sad i know but i will never be like that ever i think he is my motivation to stay away.
He has so many issues health wise because of pills and meth that is horrible reallity check especially when you have someone so close going through it.
Have you told your doc that you want to stop the meds? This should be your first step, for two reasons...If you have legit pain then you actually may need something to manage that pain. There are meds out there that can help that aren't opioid (sp?) based. And if you have a source you will probably relapse. You've been here before. The relapse may just be the abuse/addiction, or it may be a real need to manage your pain. Do you get your meds from a doc? Do you follow the script or do you run out early? Have you ever lied to get meds?
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