Tired of Roxy's holding me back

[hizzarp]

So tonight i really started to think about everything and decided i have a HUGE problem with Roxy's and am an addict.  It ***** to say that since i always thought that since i was in great shape...have a good job...and come across as ha ving my **** together.....but i couldnt be farther from what i come across as.  NOBODY really knows...the people i get them from think i sell them to make money.  It started with lowertabs...and  now i am doing 2-4 roxy a day.  Its been about 6 months now and i want to stop.  I already know i will go thru some pretty ****** bad WD's and am more or less lookin for some advice from people that have been there since i have NOBODY that i really want to share this with....i got into it behind closed doors and now i want to get out of it behind closed doors.  I basically dont have to work till Mid October and i dont think i will ever have a break like this again...so i think its the best time to go thru this horrible journey they call WD's .   So please...share something with me that may help...i wil be pretty much tryin to use this forum to make it thru .

[nessyness]

I am batteling a vicodin/whatever i can take addiction and i just bought my last batch of pills next wed will be my last day of use then im jumoing off ct because im not strong enpugh to taper down. Im gonna have 4 days off to go thru the worst of the wd. You shoud look up the Thomas Recipe its in the health pages of this forum and has helped many and stay on this site. I havent posted much but just reading has helped so much. We can do this! I for one am so sick of these pills consuming my every thought and need. The sad thing is i am really scared of not having them. So just prepare yourself for being sick for a week or so after that its just mental and if you can find one person you can confide in. It will help... If not we can help each other thru ....

[hizzarp]

Thank you for your post:)  I actually read about that Recipe and copied down all the stuff so i could pick it up tomorrow.  I have like 25 Roxy left and i will either tapper down with them or maybe jus flush them...i cant really give u a honest answer till i wake up tomorrow.  I plan on sleepin in as late as i can and before i go to bed tonight im gonna go to the store and load up on gatorade, water and other junk foods etc...anything that may help me feel a lil better.  Sounds like we are both in for a pretty ****** week...but we gotta do this!  I will be pullin for ya k...and also i will be on here as well...thank u again for takin time to respond

Chad

[worried878]

at 6 mths..u r very lucky to realize that it is a dead end street..this addction crud doesnt get better//only worse'''

cutting off supply is imperitive..can u do that?  disassociate with the people u get them from..u need to make a plan to get clean/cutting off suplly is one of the first steps..then make a plan to quit/pick a QUIT day and stick to it..the health pages r slap full or info ...read and learn...what is ur daily dose?  do u snort/shoot or chew?  giv us some info///cos beleive it or not the people here know u disease...and we can help...keep posting

[hizzarp]

Yea 6 months on the roxy...before that i would take the blue lower tabs...maybe for 4 months...so i guess almost a year,  but i didnt get out of hand until these last 6...and it seems that every month it gets waaaaaaaay worse that the first few months.  At the rate im goin i will be a ******* slug to jacked up to even get out of bed.  Rightnow i am only doing roxy cuz the blue lowertabs really dont do **** for me.  I cant take more than half of a 30 at a time cuz it makes me sick to my stomach...i only took them orally for the first 3 months and was doing 2-4 a day.  The last 2 months i started to snort them....i still cant snort more than half at a time...usualy its more like 1/3 but its gotten more frequent.  I would have to say i am snorting 4-5 a day now.  Im not sure if thats a lot, but for me it is and scares me to death!  The person i get them from isn't really a friend or someone i kickit with...he is jus my hookup (but he is a good hookup...and thats what *****...the dude never is out of them...i mean NEVER)  

[soberfrank]

Hi, and I think youve made a step in the right direction.  Have you thought about detoxing a few days in the hospital, after youve used up the roxys u have left?  I would say just flush them, but i know better then that.  I had a pretty tough detox myself, and the meds helpped in the hospital i was in.  Also if something goes wrong, in my case my heart stopped.  the doctors are right there.  You are not alone....  I will pray  good luck

[hizzarp]

thanks bro.  i have never said i wanted to quit, or even thought about it until this last few days...so i really think i want to now.  I dont have health insurance and with this economy so jacked up id really rather try to do it without stayin in the hospital (although if it comes to that i will no doubt) I have never been addicted to anything before so i have no ****** clue how to quit...i just figured that since i have this break over the next month and dont have to go to work.....NOW is the time.  I live alone , but have 2 dogs that are like my children and bestfriends.  I think they will help me when its bad....they always know when im sick and always comfort me and lay with me.  I have 2 very good friends here in vegas...but they don't even know and they aren't really into this scene...so i really dont want to bring them into this unless i have to.  Since they dont do drugs i was jus thinkin that if i can kick this **** and jus say im super sick this week...i can get back to my life and nobody will  ever know.  Actually i am sooooooo glad that i found this site and all u guys on here!  I would have never thought to do something like this...but as i was searching for ways to battle WD's  i found this site.  

[soberfrank]

The thing that helped me the most was a support group and going to a rehab 150 miles away from home.  Had to be away from old friends, change #s, lose #s, find people who were like me, and wanted help.  It's going to be painful hizzarp, im not going to sugar coat it, But it will be possible to recover, and very worth it.  I love being sober today , something that i didnt think possible the first few months of sobriety.  It's alot of hard work staying sober to begin with.... but more on that later.  Just hang in there to begin with and dont give up , no matter what.  The best thing i heard in the beginning was that you never have to use again, so im telling you the same.  pray   f  

[hizzarp]

thanks again man!  i know its not gonna be easy at all and that i cant jus snap my fingers and be done with it.   I jus want to see progress everyday...im not gonna lie to myself and say now that i decided to quit i am and will be 100perc drug free....but i know that i will be some day SOON.  I think if i can jus take advantage of this next 30days...everything will fall into place.  The # thing I am totally gonna do man!  I plan on more or less going MIA....and only the people that influence me in a good way are gonna stay.  But for the next week its jus me and my 2 dogs

[soberfrank]

i also had a problem with trying to substitute one drug for another, something that just gave me another addiction and prolonged me getting sober.  It took me four yaers to finally get the 13 months i have.  Try to go to a meeting, no matter how bad you feel , or scared for that matter, they are there to help you.

[hizzarp]

yeah man i was thinkin about that cuz im gonna take valium or xanex for the first few days to help me chill out and not pull my hair out...i dont ever take those things at all rightnow...so i hope i dont get jacked up on those....but i know for  a fact i wont sleep one wink for the first day or 2 if i dont have something to chill me out man

[soberfrank]

i understand , it will be hard to sleep, hang in there and if you need to talk, or ever think you need to go to rehab, i volunteer for the one i graduated from, mail me and ill give you the website.  good luck.

[hizzarp]

Cool man ..thanks for everything.  Lord knows i need all the help i can get living in Las Vegas

[soberfrank]

keep in touch, there is a note section you can leave private things,  add me as a friend, i will keep up with your progress.  everyone else in the room here tells me to tell you to try a meeting again so...good luck