Tomorrow I go to treatment

[GA_Needs_Big_Help]

I am so scared.  I am really afraid I am going to get through detox from Opiates, and benzos from the past week (and thank God its only been the past week on benzos), and I am going to feel this God awful pain in my back and not going to want to even  live because of the pain.  I am not suicidal.  However I fear this pain in the worst way.  I fear it more than the pain of detox because at least I know that will pass.  I just cannot wrap my mind around how even a genius doctor can bring  a person from a place of feeing such pain in the middle of her back (and having back surgery) to being able to cope with the pain, and for it to even get better.  I understand that pain gets better, about hyperalgesia, etc.  My husband has been irritated with me today, and I am feeling pretty alone, and so afraid I will miss my little girl, but I need to go off and be brave for her and for everyone in my life, especially my hubby.  He has let me know how he needs me to be whole to help him.  And I guess it all hurts because I do have a pain issue, and I am on a b_____ of an opiate.  I need all your love and support as I get ready to go face this big challenge tomorrow.  I feel very afraid, and very sad.  And I will be very tired as well!!!! given the late time it is.  Thanks.  The disease of addiction ***** so much, and when you add pain to it, it can become almost more than any person should have to deal with.  God, I pray that the pain won't be as bad as it is between doses right now.  I pray this doctor can do a miracle.  I love ya;ll on MedHelp.  Please remember me, Marie, getting help in Florida, starting tomorrow.  And I will try to remember the love and acceptance you have given me during this brutally tough 4 months of tapering.  I am forever indebted to so, so many of you.  And I welcome all the new friends too.  I will be writing A LOT from this place, so please write me back.  I love you, Marie

[lynnalb15]

Yay I'll be here
To talk you thru it and help in any way I can.

Love to you <3

[lulu747]

Marie...
Oh honey, you ARE DOING THIS!  Live from love, and don't let the fear take over.  You are stronger and more resilient than you know.  Take this time just for you, and let the healing flow.  Stay in the moment and hang on to your faith.  Remember you are saving and reclaiming your life.  I am sending you lots of love and support and prayers....
YOU ARE DOING THIS!!!

Love
Lu

[CATUF]

i was scared to death when i went to treatment . . . and it seemed like the absolute end of the words.

i remember being checked in by a kind nurse named june who told me "you probably won't believ this now, but you'll be sad to go by the time you're ready to go home."  she was right on both counts.

far from the end of the world, it was a wonderful experience.  i can't say that the first time worked, because i failed to believe a simple warning: "don't drink or use, no matter what, or you will reactivate your addiction."

the next rehab was even more wonderful and even more life changing -- i stayed much longer (4 months) and i did everything that was suggested, especially never using the first time.

CATUF

[atthebeach]

marie, i am praying for you.i am praying  for the LORD to give you a spirit of peace,rest and a sound mind.
hugs and love,
debbie

[wysteria17]

Just wanted to let you know that I too have that fear of the pain, but you are doing this and it's such an inspiration to me and it makes me want to do better myself.  Thanks for sharing your story...

[dominosarah]

The fear of the unknown is always scary but you will get thru this.  Try not to get overwhelmed.  Take it one step at a time.

Go with a spirit that fears nothing~~

[littlebit667]

The fear of the unknown is always there.  You have always been so proactive in your posts and I know that will help you when you get there.  Stay strong and let them know what works for you.  Good thoughts go with you tomorrow as you face the unknown..before you know it it will be known and the fear will subside.  I only hope for good things to follow you are you walk this new path.

[minn66]

I'm sure God understands. :) I am thinking of you. Good luck, I believe in you!

[GA_Needs_Big_Help]

Thanks for all the support.  Now I am feeling guilty for missing church.  But, I can't do that and get ready to go.  I still have washing and packing to do.  It feels good that so many of you really understand. It is priceless. I will hang on to the positive, and re-read this post all day as I pack.  Truly, I love you all so much.  Anna Marie

[vicki595]

Try to stay positive Marie. There should be several ways of managing that back pain now and I'm hoping they'll have good suggestions for you! Express these fears to the staff when you arrive and they'll work on it, I'm sure!

Well be here...

[ricart70]

Good luck to you.It is good that you will be in a good place where they will know how to help you and I think you will be fine when this is done.You may even be surprised that you will enjoy your stay.Very hopeful for you.This is a big and good turning point for you!

[Bkitty]

Sending you love and (((HUGS))) Marie,,I am so proud of you taking this step! This is about you right now and that is OK. Everything else is going to fall in to place,,you will see soon enough. I cant wait till you come back to this forum after rehab and post,,,I know you will be sooo much better! I look forward to seeing that post! I wish you all the best Marie!! ~Bkitty

[minn66]

GA, I understand. I have chronic pain too. Some days I get so mad and feel like it is so unfair. I am 46 years old and some days feel like 100.  I sometimes feel like a downer because I am in some sort of pain every day. It hasn't been easy, but being off of opiates is the best thing for me right now. Talking about it in a pain management group has helped me cope. I also go to physical therapy twice a week and get trigger point injections about every four weeks. I also participate in some forms of exercise at least three times a week. For my conditions, the weather affects me somewhat so I am looking forward to Spring. Being outside in the sunshine helps a lot and I enjoy working in the yard with my husband. It is tough, yet you can do it. Try to take it day by day and don't look too far ahead. I just wanted to let you know I identify and am thinking of you. I believe you can do this!

[gnarly_1]

Anna try not to let fear into the equation its always worst in our minds then it turns out to be....I to am a cronic pain suffer but after my detox and then some time for the rebound pain to go away.....today I live more pain free then when I was taking 150mg of methadone  give your self a chance ......let God be God all things are possible threw Christ Jesus
just let go and let God he will get you threw this whole ordeal
hang in there and message me all you like you have my prayers good luck and Gos bless.......Gnarly

[MikeInFrance]

Hey Marie! I wish all the best for you during this difficult time....as much as possible, try to keep a positive attitude... It has helped me so much these past 7 weeks! Post on here as much as u can... It equally has helped me tons! Good luck to you....you got this!! ;)