Tramadol Abuse

[nyc2caligal]

Hi all,
I have a horrible tendency to abuse prescribed medications. For more years then I can count I have been on a wide range of opiates for chronic pain ranging from injectable demoral to oxycontin. Several years ago I went into detox for 7 days and it was successful for awhile. Then 2 or 3 years later I reinjured my back and the doc put me on opiates once again.  Well about a year ago I had a new md and I told him I did not want opiates for my pain.  He prescribed Tramadol 50mg every 4-6 hours. The 1st time I took it I was like the energizer bunny and loved it, I took twice maybe even 3times more then prescribed. Of course with me abusing it so recklessly I would run out before a refill was due, hence ordering online.  I am 43 years old and can take 100 tablets in 2-3 days!!.  When I run out for whatever reason I have went a day or 2 or 3 without and seem to handle it ok without w/d, but as soon as I am able to get it, I can't get it fast enough. I will say that without it or some other pain killer I have the runs horribly. I know I am slowly killing myself, and often won't even go to sleep for fear that I may have od'd and won't wake up. I abuse all meds and I am not proud of it in the very least. Even Benadryl. I take enough meds at times to kill a horse.  I attempted to look up the long term side effects of Tramadol abuse and came across this page. I can't help but wonder what my liver function is like. I know my dependency is physcological and since I was laid of several months ago, I have more free time and with boredom comes more abuse. This is a horrible cycle, it is a 24x7 job. When you have it you are stressed out about how to stretch it, then when you run out you are trying every trick in the book to get more.  since I am not working and am on unemployment I have no medical insurance and often have to pay cash out of pocket. 50pills cost $40 and that only last me a day maybe two. I even go to the county hospital and I get 100 tabs free with 3 refills, but I can only fill it once every 8 days, so in between I am dishing out anywhere from $80-$160. I have had physicals and my labs come back just fine with no evidence of liver failure yet.  I don't know what to do, if anyone here has an idea please e-mail me at ***@****, I notice that that first high is like heroin first high, and then you never get it again but you keep trying and trying.  Speaking of which I have never used street drugs at all, not even pot. I am terrified of death and do not have a death wish, but I feel like I cannot function without some sort of rx in my system. Please any suggestions are welcomed.
Thanks,

[nyc2caligal]

Hi,
Thanks for the comment. You have definately given me lots to think about.  Regarding the wd's the only remarkable thing I do experience is bad diarreha and fatigue, but I am pretty much sure the fatigue is mental because as soon as I realizeI can get a refill the fatigue disappears immediately.  The lung thing u mentioned is definately a reality, I notice that often when I am dozing off all of a sudden I gasp for a breeath, sort of like a real bad hiccup.  Doubley bad is I have worked in the health field my entire life and I should know better. I am strongly going to consider going to a NA meeting.  I always have had a negative feeling towards the meetings, I mean I know they are a god send to millions of people, I just have never been the type of person who has a lot of faith in this and feels that it is corney in a way.  But I think I will try again.  Presently I am tappering or sorts. I am down to 2 pills every few hours as opposed to handfuls every 2 or 3 hours.  Unfortunately I am doing it for the wrong reason, and that is because I am trying to stretch my refill.
Lastly I am using my unemployment $, I have no other way financially to afford it then through UE.
I thank you for your advice and am praying that I stop before it is too late.
Nettie

[randy1953]

Well listen to a person that has been there. If you can truly go 2 to 3 days with nothing after taking that much Tramadol then your very lucky and this is the best time to stop.Save up that money or better let get into NA and also find some good free therapy if you do not they way your heading you will kill yourself.

Ok I was addicted to tramadol I was taking 20-25 100 mg tabs a day. That is a lot my body at times would go into convulsions. This is not a drug to play with.
It does things to your mind that other opiates do not. You can certainly function without them its all in your mind. I still find it hard to beleive you have no wds but hey lucky you just stop because if not you will die. Its not the liver you need to be concerned about for now that will take some time to go bad and it will however what will happen is you will not be able to breathe your lungs will shut down and with no one there to help well you see the picture. Tramadol has cause many deaths this way. I tell you again you are very lucky so stop now please and get into some sort of support group you can do it .
Just know that everytime you get high your flirting with death many times the distance between what your body can take and the next high is very small and if your on the downside of that my friend then your dead. I know i have been there thinkingi would die in my bed all alone and for what just to feel good. I am also a addict and working now on tapering off ethylmorphine so i can relate to you.

Now if by chance you quit and you do get wds try to find some catapres take like 2mcg not mg per day that will help a lot but what counts most of all is your desire to quit. The other thing is legal how are you getting the money if your just on unemployment just be careful as with drug abuse comes a legions of problems we do not need.

Wishing you the best
Randy