Tramadol Love/Hate (too much love)

It's been 8 days since my comfy little life started spinning. On Thanksgiving morning I could not take the withdrawls from tramadol anymore...the newest was a fainting episode in the bathroom that left me scared, bruised, maybe seizing, and suffering with whiplash.
     I couldn't get my med shipment cuz of the holiday. I was used to taking *30* 50mg pills every day. That Wednesday I had 2, Thursday zero. I didn't know what to do, thought I could just "handle it" and hope FedEx came quick on Friday. Instead my husband took me to the ER and just about crapped his pants along with the Doc when I revealed the extent of my usage. I don't know how it got so high. 2 years ago it was only 2 or 3 each day. Every so often I would take another, no bad effects happened, so I continued with the new higher dose.
     I miss the calm, easygoing feeling I always got with the tramadol (kinda like vicodin, but not so dizzy). No anxiety, any problems I had could be resolved-no biggie. Now everything is a biggie.
     My husband is only giving me 4 pills each day. From 30 down to 4 is a big enough accomplishment I guess, but I'm not proud-I feel like something is missing in life now. Everything seemed better before Thanksgiving, now every day is struggle to get through until the next dose. Constantly watching the clock, restless, and so damn lifeless. I know I could have caused some big damage inside myself (maybe I have already) but I couldn't get the willpower to taper on my own. I can still think of lots of excuses to wait a little longer before trying to wean myself. So that's why my husband hid the bottle and gives me only 4 to see me through.
     So for anyone who wants to stop, JUST DO IT!  

And thanks to everyone here for letting people like me read your stories and feel understood.

[avisg]

awwwe i know what you are going threw , I did not take nearly as many a day ,but i was addicted n. It is going to take a while but you will enjoy life again . I understand the whole calm easygoing feeling. Are you planing on taping off or staying at four ? I have been clean for almost 90 days ...
Life really does get better .... It is better clean...post often let us know how you are.

[lookingtofuture]

Going down from 30 to 4 is a HUGE accomplishment!! You may not feel like it now-but it will be worth it in the end!! I am newly clean (only 15 days)-and I owe alot of that to these people on forums!! Keep reading and posting!! These people are here to help those of us that are struggling/tapering/going cold turkey. They have far more advice for you-but just wanted to respond-I wish you the best in recovery!! Sounds like hubby will help you through this!!

[RelaxTheMind]

Thanks for the encouragement. I'm planning to quit entirely. My husband's plan is for me to take 1 every 4 hours, then next week 1 every 5 hours, then the following week 1 every 6 hours, etc.

Congrats to you for 90 days-- 90 days seems sooooo far off

[avisg]

i remeber where you are 90 days seemed like forever to me as well but it comes:)slow tapers are the best i would only go down about 25mg a week it will make much eiser for your body to adust back to normal. Let me know if ya need anything ......
avis

[RelaxTheMind]

i saw the taper schedule on your page, seems ambitious! Maybe it's the addict in me that wants to do it really, REALLY slow. I'm scared of the last day, nothing, zero. I can deal with a lot of the withdrawls, but the sleep problems are BAD. Waking every half hour, restless knees and elbows, feeling like that night is the longest night and dreading the next night. I've run out of pills before for 1 or 2 days and now I'm volunterily going to put myself through it again.

How long til the sober nights aren't like hell?

[RelaxTheMind]

How does day 15 feel like? I got a long way before I taper down to nothing but I keep "looking to the future" too.

[carr]

79 days clean here and i still dont sleep much....the doc says that your sleeping habit (normal one) will come back, it just takes time...i use advil pm or a sleep aid otc sometimes....hope that helps...take care and stay strong...xxx

carrie

[avisg]

i will be honest for me it took about a week after i had stopped all together to get a half decent nights sleep.  I did not sleep for the first three days at all. I found that a heating pad ended up being a life saver for me ..... I was able to get some sleep if I put it on my legs at night .... I know this is hell . Are the four pills doing anything for you withdrawls?

[RelaxTheMind]

the 4 pills are keeping me from having most withdrawls I guess. I think I'm keeping the levels of drug in my body high enough so that it's not craving. I just have to deal with my psychological withdrawls right now. The physical ones hopefully will be so minor by the time I'm done tappering I won't suffer too bad.

[toomuchmoney]

You  are doing a wonderful job. I am taking 20-30 a day now. I know what you are going thru. I am sooo scared of the W/D'S. I have so much in my life going on right now that I can't even take a hour to myself . I have to keep going and going. I spent so much money on Sat Fed EX. so I would NEVER run out. I really need help.

[tbone38]

Yes I know exactley how you feel, I went from 10 vicodin a day to 3 tramadol a day....It is a struggle but you  know most of it is mental, thinking you can't cope if you don't have any or if you are gonnna run out, let's face it Fed Ex will never go out of business with people like us.............

[lkcase]

Have you tried Soma for sleep? I find that it works wonders and has very few side effects (unlike Lunesta, et al). But I do take around 15 Tramadol a day and I hate that. I don't know how to take less b/c otherwise i cannot take care of my 2 kids. I tried tapering to 1 or 2 this Winter and was so horribly depressed that i literally couldn't function. This is better than that! What sort of long-term damage am I doing? I've very afraid. Two weeks ago I took too much and had a panic attack and went to the ER. They gave me an Ativan, which lowers the seizure threshold and relaxes you and it worked great. But of course I'm still taking the Tramadol (although less). I need help too.

[betsyy]

I can't believe how many you were taking. I am up to 12 a day right now. I am a serious hypochondriac and I believe that is the only thing that keeps me from taking more, although the dose does go up slowly. I am a recovering alcoholic and sort of justify my use of tramadol because it's a "non-narcotic". But I also no longer go to my meetings so I must know somewhere inside of myself that I cannot possibly be sober still if I am taking these pills for the euphoric effect. I have fibromyalgia and feel so much better, it would suck to have to discontinue use because I can't take it responsibly. Taking it the right way does give you a great feeling, sort of like an instant antidepressent. It's the addict in me that tells me that can only get better. What do you think it is that makes us go back for more? It's not even considered a narcotic. Some people say that there are studies being done to decide wheter or not they should start labeling the drug as a narcotic. I am right smack in the middle of this and getting pretty scared. I am actually on a large dose as I write this and it's 2am and I am scared of over dosing and deing, yet I still take more.

[avisg]

Betssy,
This is a very old thread I would hate to see your post get over looked .tramadol is a synthetic opiate its is highly addicting and its going to be hell to come off of .Not mention you are only supposed to take 8 a day you are at 12 the high you go the bigger your risk  for seizures .Its time to start tapering down off of the tramadol CTing of it is very dangerous .I would get back into meeting as well so you can have the support I hope to see you make a new post.

[Icandothis10]

I've been lurking on these sites.  I'm down to 3.5 pills a day!!  I'm going to do this!

[GOD1FAMILY2GUCCI3]

Put GOD ahead of ur life he will direct ur path. Live yourself unconditionally and everything will be OK people.  There is nothing more freighting then taking a pill not knowing if its ur last so think about that or people who care will be without u forever. God is life

[TMF1224]

I have been on tramadol 10 years! I have HORRIBLE withdrawl (withdrawal) an my moods are horrible if i dont have it! I keep some next to my bed in my car a little bottle on my keychain even some in my swim bag! I am a mom of 4 an the only thing that motivates me to even MOve is the tramadol! I no my husband knows whats going on because lately we havent had the money to just get my 240 bottle filled only 20 here an there! An everyday i have to go pick more up! I get very bad hot cold sweats if im even close to missing a dose! Im a very small person 5'6 maybe 103 an its so bad because i feel like it works better if i dont eat when i take it! So i dont! Lately i take 3 with 2 excedrine an 2 cans of mountin dew! Every 3 hrs:( im only 28 an i cant even IMAGINE having to stop!! =( =( =(

[ImDONENoMore]

Hopefully some day you will decide to stop.  And we'll be here.

[TMF1224]

Well im officially going to start tappering(sp) i just hate tht my life is completely revolving around if i have enuf pills 2 make it thru the next event!=( if i want to go swimming with my kids i have to take 3 (50mg) pills b4 i leave 2 while im there an 2 when i get in the car! Or go grocery shoopping same thing! Im just trying to muster up the will power to do this an i feel sooo alone! My step dad was/is addicted to crack cocaine my dad is an alcoholic my mom died of alcoholism my brother is an alcoholic=( so the family support is not there. Plus they all look 2 me as the 'one who made it' i went to college i own a home im married i have kids full time job an (am a betty homemaker) they all call me martha stewart! They look to me to hold everyone up b there for them finacially emotionally an physicaly espeacially after my mom passed:( if i go down who is going to pick up my family=(? I want to stop but i know im not rock bottom yet because instead of asking my dr 4 help i dont because im scared if i tell him im addicted an need help to get off,then if i change my mind he wont perscribe me anymore=( plz someone tell me u also went thru these feelings:( i just wonder who 'tara" will b with out my 'supermom' pills:( ***feeling alone an scared**

[vicki595]

TMF-  Go ahead and start your own thread. Go back to the forum and click on the green "post a question". Lay it out for everyone. You'll get a lot more responses!