Has anyone just used or wanted to use because of boredom? I find that when I get really bored, I want to take tramadol more so. Tramadol made me feel satisfied even when I wasn't doing anything. I would sit in my room for hours and veg out to the tv on a beautiful day and be completely ok with that. I'm craving the drug in a major way today, mostly because of the severe depression, partly because of lack of motivation, partly because of boredom and I just really, really miss the euphoria. Dropping from 16 tramadols a day to zero in one day I'm sure wasn't very brilliant, it has really thrown me for a loop. But I'm on day 8 so I'll just keep survivin'.
Hi there, I'm so sorry you had a bad evening. I hope you get a good nights rest. Don't beat yourself up so bad. Stand up, dust yourself off, it will be a brand new day in the morning. Honestly I think alcohol make people depressed, so once it's all out of your system you should feel much better. You have come a long way, you have been doing great. It will get better!
Aww man that terrible...its a rough time for youd right now. The last time I went off I just layed in bed and there was a lockedup marathon on and I watched that made me feel better because even though I felt like I was inprisoned in my mind at least I wasn't actually in jail lol my thoughts are swith you !
It's 2:30am, just getting home from a night out with a friend. My intent was to go to NA, I get there and they stopped meetings on Friday nights. Seems odd to me because as far as I know, most people like to party on the weekend. Anyhow, no meeting tonight. I'm craving Tramadol badly so I go to a friend's house so I can talk to someone and hopefully get my mind off of it. She offers me an alcoholic drink. I'm not much of a drinker, never really been my thing, but I say yes anyway, knowing it's probably not the brightest move. So one rum and coke turns into two and two turns into three and so on. Well it's 10 and I'm drunk, laughing having a great time, not once thinking about Tramadol, which was nice I must admit. I finally felt like I had this mental break from the constant thinking of my annoying addiction. Around midnight, the weirdest thing, I'm looking in the mirror, washing my hands and I get this voice in my head like it was somebody else talking to me. All I heard was this voice that said, you are having a good time but because you are f***ed up, you're not getting over your addiction, you're postponing it with another mind altering substance. I stood there and just started to cry. I told my friend I had to go. I called for a ride and went home and have been sobering up for the past couple of hours. I never really thought about alcohol being like a drug but it really is and the last thing I want to do is start thinking I can forget about Tramadol if I have a couple of drinks. It would just be a substitution and I would never get over the underlying problem. Now that I've sobered up from the alcohol my mind is back on that damn Tramadol. I am so mad that I'm constantly thinking about it. It's complete torture. If it wasn't so late I'd scream at the top of my lungs because I'm so sick of it already.
So I'm officially on day 8, seems like 80 because time just goes by sooooo slow. Ugh, I just can't wait to be Lisa again, not Lisa who can't stop thinking of this crappy a$$ drug. Why do pharmaceutical companies make this sh!t when they know millions of people get addicted, go to jail, end up in rehab, commit crimes, become people they never would be without these addictions? It's mind boggling. The government has this "war on drugs", but they make the drugs. WTF?
FYI... had to break up my post into two sections, too long for the comment section to save it. It's 2:30am, just getting home from a night out with a friend. My intent was to go to NA, I get there and they stopped meetings on Friday nights. Seems odd to me because as far as I know, most people like to party on the weekend. Anyhow, no meeting tonight. I'm craving Tramadol badly so I go to a friend's house so I can talk to someone and hopefully get my mind off of it. She offers me an alcoholic drink. I'm not much of a drinker, never really been my thing, but I say yes anyway, knowing it's probably not the brightest move. So one rum and coke turns into two and two turns into three and so on. Well it's 10 and I'm drunk, laughing having a great time, not once thinking about Tramadol, which was nice I must admit. I finally felt like I had this mental break from the constant thinking of my annoying addiction. Around midnight, the weirdest thing, I'm looking in the mirror, washing my hands and I get this voice in my head like it was somebody else talking to me. All I heard was this voice that said, you are having a good time but because you are f***ed up, you're not getting over your addiction, you're postponing it with another mind altering substance. I stood there and just started to cry. I told my friend I had to go. I called for a ride and went home and have been sobering up for the past couple of hours. I never really thought about alcohol being like a drug but it really is and the last thing I want to do is start thinking I can forget about Tramadol if I have a couple of drinks. It would just be a substitution and I would never get over the underlying problem. Now that I've sobered up from the alcohol my mind is back on that damn Tramadol. I am so mad that I'm constantly thinking about it. It's complete torture. If it wasn't so late I'd scream at the top of my lungs because I'm so sick of it already.
I really can't add anything more or better to what has been offered above... Just wanted to congratulate on your success so far. It is awesome'! It really does get better, I am 26 days off of both Trams and Norco and am still not close to 100%, but am WAY better than I was the first two weeks..lt is doable at this point. Just come back here and go to your meetings, whatever helps at that moment in time. This continues to be an unending source of encouragement and support for me. Much love.
You go girl! Excellent plan!
I stopped taking the Clonidine that my doctor gave me for the withdrawal symptoms, it was giving me hallucinations and made me so incredibly tired. The hot and cold chills ended up returning. Luckily I'm not feeling as bad as I was the first few days of withdrawal. I'm out of bed and moving around so that helps. Plus I'm drinkning lots and lots of water to energize me and flush out my system of any toxins that may still be in there. The depression is a nightmare though. The psychological withdrawals are really kicking in big time now that the physical withdrawals are subsiding. I was more frightened of this than the physical part of it. Now the real battle begins. I wanted to take Tramadol more today then the first six days I was without it. So it's time for a plan. Since I don't know anyone who has been through anything like this, I've decided to go to NA. The way I craved those damn pills today scared the sh!t out of me and made me realize that I need more support. My family has been understanding in their own way. My parents have never smoked, didn't drink and drugs were definitely out of the question. I grew up with the straightest church-going mom and dad that has ever lived. But they've been great and there for me, they just don't get it, but they're trying and I love them for that. So tonight I'm going to NA, which I'm really nervous about. I know I shouldn't be nervous, everyone there will understand me more than anyone I know personally. It's a funny thing how people who don't know each other can really bond and come together when fighting this battle. It's comforting to know we're not alone.
Day 7, happy about that but the depression is killing me.
Yeah I can remember that feeling so well. I was in this weird, sad, fog. I didn't know which way was up and which was down. I was so unsure...of everything. My physical symptoms, like most, we're terrible. Once they began to slowly subside, I was still left with this deep feeling of nothingness. My thinking became clearer with each day that passed but it was 'off' for a while (I know that is contradictive).
Pretty soon I realized it had been 2 weeks, than a month, than 50 days, etc. I was so surprised how the time passed and one day you wake up and you're like, 'wow! I feel pretty good!' Everyone's path is different. I did work from day 4 on I dunno if that helped or hurt but it kept me somewhat busy. Even work was better off of pills (never would've thought I'd say that?!) That energy you get from pills is just fake anyway, and short-lived.
It's great that you are walking and getting in some exercise- that helped me tremendously. So did a little music :)
Like ImDONE said...So normal!
Normal. SO so normal.
Congrats for quitting.
Thanks for your response. It's a relief just to hear that there is happiness beyond pills. I'm on my fifth day without the tramadol. I called my doctor about the physical symptoms I am experiencing and he prescribed me clonidine for the chills, sweats, anxiety, etc., but I am still getting lots of anxiety anyway and when taking the clonidine, I feel very lathargic and I can't do much because it makes me so tired. Today I finally got out of bed and just went for a walk around the neighborhood with my puppy. It was nice to move around but it was extremely difficult because I am so weak. I'm also mentally exhausted. Every second I'm awake I have to constantly tell myself that I'm better off without the tramadol and then tell myself why. It's so exhausting. Last night I got into a horrible argument with a friend and I immediately wanted to take some tramadol and that really scared me. I really depended on those pills to numb every emotion that I didn't want to feel. Now that I'm feeling all of my emotions, depression has really kicked in, and it's frightning because I haven't felt negative feelings in so long. I've noticed in the past few days little things are different, like how I interact with people, even certain tv shows I found entertaining before I no longer do, my likes and dislikes seem jumbled. It's so incredible to me how differently I interpret reality, now I am without that foreign chemical in my body changing how I think and feel. I don't know if this is normal for people withdrawing from drugs but seeing everything so differently almost makes me feel crazy. I've been in that "mindful bliss" for five years and everything was fantastic, well that's how it seemed. I hope what I'm experiencing is "normal". Any thoughts?
Faithful you did a good thing coming on here and posting. You are not alone that's for sure. There are so so many people who have had the same struggles-the same fears about living a clean life and questioning if clean and happy could go together. I can tell you they can! They definitely can! I am just about 90 days and if somebody would've told me that 90 days ago I would not have believed them but I can honestly say there are so many great things that come from getting off the pills. You can live the good life I promise you this...if you have faith and dig deep and do a little work. You need to cut off access to pills (scary, I know- sounds like that may have already happened) and make sure you line up some support because once you get past the physical withdraws you will need it.
I don't want to preach too much but I liked your post it was honest and open and I just want you to know that life clean is wonderful, more wonderful than you can imagine. You will connect with people, have deep laughs and feel joy and happiness and actually care for yourself and others. You will be able to look at people in the eye without feeling shame or that you are hiding something. You will feel pride and hope and you will want to help others. You'll feel great about yourself and your new job. even during moments of uncertainty you will know intuitively that you are better off just being and living and not trapped in a mess. Sure there will be bad days but the good outweighs the bad always. Even the worst of days will be better than any day taking pills you will see. There is a great life out there just waiting for you.
I had NO idea how I was going to go back to work on day 4. And I'm not gonna lie it kinda su****. But it came and left, and so did the next day, and the next. And before I knew it it was a week, than 2 weeks, than a mont, etc. I look back and I'm like- sweet :)
To help with your first few days of withdraw look up the Thomas recipe on this site it can help so much- especially the Imodium and melatonin. Keep us posted...
My doctor did give me a schedule to wean off the tramadol but being that I liked them so much, I took more than I was supposed to and ended up going cold turkey because my addiction was stronger than my will power. Being on day three is difficult and I'm praying it will start to get easier soon but since it's been five years of being in what someone called "numbness bliss" , I don't know what it's like to actually feel things for real anymore and that really frightens the hell out of me. Next Monday, I'm starting a terrific job that I still can't beleive I got. I don't know how I'm going to be able to intereact with people, will I have trouble learning new responsibilities, etc., etc. Life is just going to be so different. It's already feeling like I've woken up into a different reality. Will it take long to get back to my old self, what I was like 5 years ago? I really miss that person.
Hello I'm so sorry to hear thst you have to go through this again with a med you thought was safe. so your on day three well from what I hear it takes any where up to 10 days now don't freak out thats up to with the days 4,5,or 6 being the worst of the physical part you done this befor with a much stronger drug and did't so I'm thinking your a very stronge woman may I ask If your doc tried to ween you down at all ? but being that you are already in day 3 you maybe should just keep trucking . I understand ur feelings towards the lorazapam but if you took them for the next 3 days to help you through the harder times it may bring you some comfort then flush them also benadryl was a huge help for me and melitonen is helpful for sleep I'm sure ya know about the imodiom for reasons known to all if I read anything else or hear anything else that may help I'll get back to ya try to keep posting it helps and keep reading that saved my life best of luck and sending you lots of prays
Hi there and welcome. Many tram warriors on here and they will be along to help you out. Drs just don't get how addicting those things really are plus they have an SSRI in them too. Ugh. I have withdrawn from 400 to 500 mg of it daily, and I can tell you its worse than opiates but can be done. I only used them as fillers when I couldn't get any norcos. Keep checking back. There is great help here.