But here at day 20 clean it is getting better.. the worst part of the day is in the morning when I wake up - I used to be woken by my alarm clock but this sleep thing is still messing a little bit with me. Must take comfort in the fact though that I do get 5 hours of solid sleep and then I have a period with very uneasy sleep. The good thing is that I recognize this from the times when I have started up on my antidepressants...
The anxiety, as I have mentioned, is no longer debilitating and I can acknowledge them and then continue what it is I am doing...
The main thing is the mood swings however - I shift between irrational life ***** feelings and periods with total clarity... can't wait till this evens out - at the low points I have to be selective in what I watch on tv and the internet... I am so happy that I am on an antidepressant - can't begin to imagine how hard this would be without.. respect to all of you who is doing this without AD..
Well - I will NEVER ever have another tramadol - this is indeed the devils pill - remember everybody out there struggling - YOU CAN CONQUER!
Keep on being strong, you are an inspiration! I am roughly 60 days clean from oxycodone. My mood, clarity, and spirituality are changing daily. Quite a "rollercoaster" ride. I wonder sometimes if I will EVER level out. Sleep is still not the best, but improving. I am not on AD but use amino acids. I feel sometimes I am in the middle of my own personal soap opera.
There I go, ranting, when what I really wanted to say is that you seem to be doing so well!!
Congrats to you! I'm off tramadol 30 days or more... Not sure the exact date anymore. I know how hard the mental stuff is too as I am on 100mg of Zoloft daily to try to combat the depression. I have fibromyalgia so the pain and chronic fatigue seem to be making it even harder for me mentally to just "get up and exercise". So CONGRATS to you on getting out to the gym and doing what you can to push through. Your an inspiration for me that's for sure!
You just need some more time under your belt. Tramadol is a deceptive drug and plays with the chemicals in the brain. You are making all the right steps. Have you considered any aftercare or NA meetings.The thing about time is it can be bittersweet. Eventually in the end it becomes sweet. Hang in there! ((hugs))
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