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149675 tn?1416673133

Treatment for oxycodone addicition

My son and his wife are addicted to Oxy. They were given this when in the military for back pain. They are both out now and seriously addicted to it. they have lost just about everything and been evicted from their apartment. They and their daughter (my granddaughter is 1 year old) are going to be moving in with my wife and I so they can get back on their feet again. They are serious about getting treatment and will be going through the VA for it.

My question is this, should they be seeking inpatient treatment or outpatient treatment? My son seems to think they can do this in an outpatient setting. He just started a great new job today and does not want to risk losing it if he has to "go away' for 30 days or so. I know that this is a serious addiction and hard to break. I am looking for some advice based on others experiences.

I am also leary of the VA as they tend to be overloaded and underfunded. Not to mention the level of care, from what i hear can be substandard.

My wife and I are supportive and want to help them but also can not let our house be turned upside down. We still have 3 other children living at home, 2 of which are younger. They are not aware of the drug addiction problem their brother and sister in law have. Any advice or input would be appreciated.
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306455 tn?1288862071
I just had to crawl out of the wood-work to tell Catsup what a great post that was.
Dragonslayer, I hope your son and DIL make it threw this. It'll be a long hard road any which way it goes. Try to get them on this addition forum. Good luck to all of you.
Helpful - 0
710423 tn?1271161074
Amazingly spoken.
Helpful - 0
710423 tn?1271161074
Hey,
If he will NOT (and i mean absolutely no way in he*l) go to inpatient or outpatient, but he is clean, he can do NA or another 12 step group. It works. The meetings are in the evening, in most areas, and there is usually one per night. He needs help of other recovering addicts. HE CAN NOT DO IT ALONE.
I stayed clean and sober while in the care of NA and my NA friends. The moment I stopped going to those meetings and stopped calling those people, I began to think I could do it alone....1 month later, I was abusing drugs again.
This time I almost didn't make it out alive....
Research it online, or have him do it to find a meeting.
Best
Amy
Helpful - 0
149675 tn?1416673133
Wow!!! That was one of the most well spoken, thought out responses I have ever read. I really appreciate your sincerity and honesty in writing that well thought out response. I have been a member of med help for a few years in another forum and THAT was awesome. It is also the reason why I love medhelp! The patient to patient forums are wonderful, insightful, and can really make a difference. I am going to share this with my son and his wife. Thank you again.This has been enlightening.
Helpful - 0
52704 tn?1387020797
Chances are he won't do it on his own.

Losing everything is a good sign of late stage addiction, and that's a beast that doesn't run away just because you scream at it.  it must be lock up, never to be petted or fed again.  no matter how long it's been locked up, no matter how well it promises to behave, it can never, ever, be let out of its cage - not even for a second.

I tried to quit hydro on my own for years, but never made it past 58 days until I went through 2 rehabs - first for 28 days, and then (after a relapse/run that almost killed me) a full 4 months of in-patient.

your son would be wise to go ahead and do the in-patient now, but making wise decisions is not the hallmark of we who are drug addicts.  he no doubt thinks he's being wise . . . he wants to make this job work, quit screwing up, get his $hit together, get this all behind him, etc.  But he's likely to find that the truth is the saying "anything that you put in front of your recovery is going to be lost anyway."

it's pretty much a sure bet that he won't believe any of this.  he's probably convinced to a moral certanity that a) he just needs to try harder and b) that he's really going to try hard enough this time (i'm guessing that if he's to the point of losing everything, he's tried before).  

i know that's what i thought, time-after-time, and my years in the Marines just made it worse -- i kept picturing a DI screaming "are you going to let that little blue pill KICK YOUR AS$, MARINE!?!?!?"  of course, my answer was a loud "NO, SIR!!" -- i was going to fight until i won . . . i vowed to never quit fighting . . . i vowed to win . . . and each time i got knocked down, i got up more determined than ever.

the problem is that those "weapons" (will and determination) don't work when fighting addiction.  they worked with every other challange I'd faced, but not with addiction.  I know now that they are exactly wrong weapons for this particular foe.  the only way to beat addiction is by not-fighting.  it's hard to do, but the way to beat addiction is by declaring unconditional surrender.  it feels like exactly the wrong thing to do, but it's not.  it's the only thing to do.  Google 'addiction surrender' and you'll find lots of good stuff.

it takes different people different amounts of time to grasp this.  some never do.

you may not be able to force your son into rehab, but your in a good position to really help his chance of making it into sustained recovery anyway.  if it were my son, i'd put some strict conditions on his moving into my home.  

FIRST CONDITION, i'd require that he submit, without question, to drug testing on my request.  i say "pee in the cup" and he says "thank you" or moves out.  period.  If he fails a test he'd immeditely be professionally retested and on a confirmed positive he's either on the bus to rehab or on the street.  period.

addicts need to be held accountable (all people do, but addicts especially).  random but frequent testing saved me when i got home from that 2nd rehab . . . the director of my rehab insisted on it and said i was almost certain to fail without it.  she was right.

initially i thought of it as just a harmless way to prove that i was fine, "not screwing up," etc.  but soon i realized that it was actually saving me.  addicts don't intend to suddenly throw their whole life in the can.  but after some period of time the urge to use JUST A LITTLE becomes VERY (and i mean VERY) strong.  we convince ourselves that it really will be just a little and just this once . . . AND WE MEAN IT - WE REALLY MEAN IT.  but when that little bit hits our brain all bets are off . . . our addiction is reactivated and we're almost immediately as bad as ever.

we somehow cannot see that deciding to use just that little bit, just that once, is really deciding to throw it all away.  it might seem obvious to you (and ever other "earth person"), but we can't see it . . . we really feel (no matter how many times we've been proven wrong in the past) that this time will be different . . . this time we will control it.

that's where the testing comes in.  by subjecting the addict to frequent, random, unpredictible testing, the fiction of harmless use is destroyed.  when i knew that ANY use was CERTAIN to result in a positive test, immediately followed by huge negative consequences, i couldn't fall into the trap of seemingly harmless use.  any use and i'd be busted, which result was tied to serious consequences that were wholly unacceptable to me.  (initially, this required testing every few days)

SECOND CONDITION: i'd require that he begin attending AA and/or NA meetings, and actively participate in the program (which includes getting a sponsor).  no excuses - 90 meetings in 90 days, after which we'd talk about whether it was time cut back SOME or not.  Time Magazine did a story on addiction not too long ago that made reference to the importance of 90-in-90:

"One important discovery: evidence is building to support the 90-day rehabilitation model, which was stumbled upon by AA (new members are advised to attend a meeting a day for the first 90 days) and is the duration of a typical stint in a drug-treatment program. It turns out that this is just about how long it takes for the brain to reset itself and shake off the immediate influence of a drug. Researchers at Yale University have documented what they call the sleeper effect--a gradual re-engaging of proper decision making and analytical functions in the brain's prefrontal cortex--after an addict has abstained for at least 90 days."

see: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1640436-3,00.html

that brain-reset is REAL.  i've experienced it (but i still kept going to 7+ meetings a week for another 5 months).

---------------------

if your son is a drug addict, and it sounds like he is, he is in the grips of a relentlessly progressive, ultimately fatal disease.  he doesn't need to become good again, he needs to become well again.

it would help your understanding, and your ability to be of real help to him, if you would go join an AL ANON group (see http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html).

CATUF
1672
Helpful - 0
149675 tn?1416673133
Thanks everyone. I appreciate the input. I spoke with him tonight and they were given a January 19th "evaluation" at the VA. The evaluation will be to determine the best treatment option for them.

Unfortunately he is not going now, just his wife. He is still clean but he just started a really great job and does not want to risk it by taking off a day a little over 2 weeks after stating it. He also said that even the outpatient is only during the day. They have no hours after 4:30PM. He thinks he can stop this on his own with sheer will power. I think he is sadly mistaken. This stuff has brought down the toughest of them.

He has no insurance so he can not get treatment any other way. Not to mention the Army needs to take a little responsibility in getting him hooked in the first place. They prescribe for these kids at the drop of a hat. Granted he and the rest who get hooked obviously play a major role in the addiction but having had 2 sons in the military I know how they prescribe stuff quickly and a lot. It is also an easy system to get over on. The soldiers all know what to say to get meds. It is prevalent in the military.
Helpful - 0
1140035 tn?1276352098
I wish them luck with getting off of these awful pills!  I too am trying to get off a 8-10 pill a day habit of 15mg Oxycodone...been abusine pain pills for years now.  I'm working with my family dr. to wean me off, but I'm beginning to think I can't do this on my own and think would do better in an inpatient setting...but have 2 kids and can't leave my life for a month.  Don't think my boss would be too happy either.

They may be able to do it on their own...they have eachother (and you) for support!  That's very important.  
Helpful - 0
429432 tn?1343594190
BTW, I was on hydros, not oxy's...
Helpful - 0
429432 tn?1343594190
I ended up going to inpatient detox, so far I've had no aftercare and I don't feel like I'm doing well. If inpatient rehab would have been an option for me, I would have gone, but I cannot afford it. I'm just hoping my willpower will be enough.
Helpful - 0
222369 tn?1274474635
If it's at all feasible, inpatient rehab is always the best answer. Outpatient rehabs (such as the one I went to) are structured for people who are basically functioning addicts or alcoholics with generally functioning lifestyles. It sounds like your son and his wife are somewhere between functional and nonfunctional. Regardless of where they are in life, the best chances for long term sobriety usually always comes with inpatient treatment if economically reasonable.
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