Trial By Fire

Unbeknownest to me, God decided to test me today (14!, yeah! TWO WEEKS!). At 7:30AM I received a knock on my door. Highly unusual, I live in a very exclusive neighborhood and figured a neighbor had lost a dog or a cat....
There stands one of my suppliers. One I have told to never, ever, ever contact me again and one of a very few that actually knows where I live. Highly agitated and in panic mode. OK, what's the problem?

He is behind on his rent. On his way to work. Payday is tomorrow and if he doesn't have $500 today, he gets evicted at 5PM. All his customers are broke until tomorrow, payday. So far so good.

I usually bought 100 at a time for $1000. He dropped "my" package of 100 on the table and said he would do me a "favor" and let me have them for $500 to get out of this bind. I froze. Completely. Totally. Tunnel vision. MY package. MINE, MINE, MINE.

Then my new found friend, my brain whispered,....rat poison, he's trying to make you ingest rat poison. I shook it off, grabbed my wallet and peeled off 5 $100s and told him to pick those F%^$*g pills up and put them away.

OK, now obviously I did NOT make my point a few weeks ago when I said do not EVER contact me again and yet you show on on my f%^&*(g DOORSTEP? Take the $500, pay your rent and return it to me TOMORROW by 6PM, comprende?

I have loaned this guy money numerous times and have never had any issues getting paid back, either in DOC or cash, not worried about that.

I VERY, VERY forcefully explained to him that what I said, I meant. If you ever make the mistake of showing up here again, be ready to go to jail because that's what you will be doing, is this sinking in? Get my $500 back to me and NEVER contact me again.

Slammed the door in his face and started shaking. Got the sweats. It was NOT a craving, just pure RAGE that this had happened. At my HOUSE.

So, an awfully rough start to my day, but boy do I feel good about this. The rage has subsided (really rather quickly, surprisingly) and I did say NO. That would be a first for me.

Never thought I would be a Nancy Reagan cheerleader, Just Say No. ROTFLMAO.....now. Feels good. Very good.

Gary

PS: Anyone having trouble with the pages loading in the site? I'm getting a lot of white screens, not timing out, but very slowwwwwwww.

[hatethewrongroad]

Wow..thats an experience for the books!!    and one you can be proud of!!  See whats possible

[vicki595]

You get the "JUST SAY NO AND REALLY MEAN IT" prize today!!    Good work!

* My pages are loading fine...

[dominosarah]

You actually gave your dealer $500 for his so called rent?  The guy is selling drugs that kill people on a daily basis.  Maybe its time he gets a real job and pays his own way.  You passed on the pills.....this time.

[swflafun]

Are you a speed reader by any chance? He was on his way to his job (as stated in the post), most people do work for a living, even dopers.

Yes, I passed on the pills...."this time" and every time they will ever be offered. You ever hear of someone quitting? That's what I did. You couldn't put a gun to my head and make me do another, I'd take the bullet.

Yes, he's selling drugs that kill people on a daily basis, but I'm pretty sure there are few million others out there doing the same. I'm not a crusader.

Lighten up.

[ANewLife4Me]

Way to go on passing on those pills.  That took a lot, with them right there on the table...the half off deal...congrats on 14 days :)

[carson1975]

Wow u just made my day! To know it can be turned down while it's in your face! Your very strong willed good job keep up the good work today my friend u r my hero!!  :)

[pillfree21]

Definitely a breakthough moment....and still had compassion for the guy.  Big pat on the back for that one.

[eyeofhorus2010]

Like a scene right out of "Pulp Fiction" is what that was. I admire your will power because there aren't many that would have turned that kind of deal down at the 14 day mark (congrats by the way). Like you, I feel so good now without pills that there is nothing that's going to come between me and my sobriety.

I live in a gated community and visitors have to punch in a code that calls my house. He wouldn't have made it past the gate. If my doorbell rings I already know who it is. Unless it's a neighbor kid selling cookies.

I do feel better knowing that I wasn't the only one buying in bulks of 1000.

You da man, Gary!

[Crys833]

Wow! I'm so proud of you for turning him down! You are fighting for your life! I don't know if I would've had the strength to do that. I'm so glad you are serious about your sobriety, it keeps me inspired too. Congrat day 14!!! yay:)

[Katrina81]

Way to go Gary! Thats awesome and took an amazing amount of strength and will power. Good for you my friend. Congrats on day 14.

[gnarly_1]

HI   so your 2 weeks into sobriety and think your strong enough to have someone throw a bag of pills in front of you..??? thats not a test thats tempting fate ....so today your own strength got you by....are you counting on will power to keep you sober??? if you are your in for a rude awakening ....if it was merely will power that keept us sober we wouldn't need this forum N/A or A/A or conslors or drug therapist the pills  are not the problem there a symptom of the disease its the very way we think as addicts thats got to change...personally I know the bissness to well also.....some one told me never to call again and cut off communications with me when I was a dealer.....I would have thought they rat me out to the man and may have dropped by....but it would have been to put a cap in them you need to remember just who is knocking at your door and question why....the right answer here would have been....'''I dident answer the door" save your sobriety mussels ............Gnarly    

[hiskidd]

Nice! ***** thinking it was a neighbor, and AWESOME knowing that after 14 days you could be this strong. God wasn't testing you, HE SAVED YOU! You're 14 days will be months, and years!!! Great post!!! Blessings!

[swflafun]

Hi and thanks for posting. Let me preface my response with this: I am not pro or anti anything. I know that AA/NA, therapists etc has helped and is helping countless millions. I suggest them to anyone who has the need or desire to pursue those avenues of support.
I am a self made man. Started and built my business from the ground up. I began in high school and have enjoyed the fruits of my labor for many years. I know what I am. Every second of every hour of every day. I am gazing with pure lust to having the same success in my personal life. It is much, much over due.
I am not a sort and file by rank type of person. I have always blazed my own path. My nature.
If you desire, we can revisit this debate at my day 100. 1000. 3000. As one of the saying goes (sort of) If. It works for YOU, work it. I'm working it. For me.
Peace.
Gary