Tylenol 1's abuse

[willow9293]

I think I am addicted to codeine.  I have been abusing T1's which sort of seems ridiculous because they are not very strong, but is also very scary because they are full of acetaminaphen.  I used to take T3's.  I had a prescription for them because of migraines and when the prescription ran out I switched doctors and never asked for a new one.  I don't want the T3's because I want to be clean of it all.  However, I have been taking these T1's when I am in pain.  They are available over the counter here and I keep buying them, resolving to stop taking them, throwing the rest out and then buying more.  What happens is I will go for days without them and then I have a major headache.  I cave, take them and then it sets off a craving because I like the little high that they provide.  What follows is a run of days where I take them until I scare myself into stopping again.  I am afraid that I am hurting myself by dammaging my liver.  But also, I know I'm not really sober when I am behaving like this.  The problem is, I do have these headaches and so I am tripped up by this pain that I can't seem to manage.  I am pretty sure that I am getting kick back headaches from the pills.  I have read about that and it seems likely at this point.  I don't know what my question is, really, for the community.  I guess I just want some help.  I want to see a way out of this mess I have gotten myself into.  I want to know that there is a way to fix it, to get back to being sober.  Thanks.

[MEB2011]

I have taken codeine for years, but am able to get it without acetaminophen.   I can relate to the comment that it softens the edges and makes everything just a little bit easier and nicer, also good dreams.

But every now and then I have to get off due to running out.  What I do when I get down to a certain number (say about 40 30 mg tabs) is start tapering down to 2 a day, and finally 1 a day and then get off.  I take lomotil for diarrhoea  and I have used Kratom on occasion, which is a herbal with opiate substances, and this is about the softest way I can find to get off.  After a few weeks things are ok, but I never really forget about how much more I liked being high.  

Most will take umbrage with this, but I think of it as my substitution therapy.  And, codeine is much easier to get off than Methadone, from what I have heard consistently from others.   Oddly, over the years I have never really increased my dose once I hit about 240 mgs/day.

Oh, and DL Phenalalynine (and amino acid that is a precursor to dopamine and endorphins) seems to help fill up the depleted endorphin wells following the development of tolerance.

To me the real problem is not being able to use the substances that I feel I can use safely and that seem to help me, and which do not have the terrible health effects of smoking or drinking alcohol.

[jifmoc]

Willow- everything you wrote is totally awesome. You are totally going in the right direction!!!

Yup, cravings, fear, all that sh!t about those stupid pills will fade. Great job!!:)

[spider6]

I promise they will get better if you keep going forward...keep going forward...if I could do this....at 80 of those wretched little fakkers a day...I know you can do it.  You got this. ((((8))))

[willow9293]

I talked to my husband last night.  We set aside some time to talk specifically, on the way to an AA meeting.  He's in AA.  I was of course, very nervous but actually the talk went really well and I felt loads better afterwards.  The meeting helped too.  Thanks for the advice.  Talking to him was exactly what I needed to do.  Today is day two.  I have a raging headache so I took the day off work.  There are no pills in the house, everything is gone.  I should be able to do this.  I'm scared, of course.  Scared of the pain, scared of the stupid cravings.  I forget sometimes, that they do pass.  I think the main thing is that I am understanding that I am at a point where everything is either going to get better or it is going to get much much worse.  I really need things to get better.

[pillguy]

Acetaminophen can be very harmful to your liver.  If this drug was objectively accessed for safety by our FDA, it would never reach the market.  The daily allowable limit of Acetaminophen is 4000mg.  Many think that level should be cut in half.  Google "Acetaminophen dangers".  There's plenty to read.  I don't want to take away from your battle with addiction, just don't accidentally kill yourself while you fight the battle

[jifmoc]

Willow, your sentiment sounds familiar. I can relate to just not being happy not matter what. But I'd rather be unhappy and clean, that way I have a chance of fixing it.

You know the old cliche "our secrets keep us sick." Why not tell your sponsor, or your AA buds what's going on? I mean, that's what they are there for. I call my sponsor especially when I don't want to. You know how we can't do any of this ourselves, right? Maybe by telling peeps, you will learn something, or get help, or a shift will occur. Something you can't foresee. It definitely can't make it worse!

[willow9293]

Hi Spider,
I don't know what to do with myself.  Today I am resolved not to take any pills.  Yesterday I took eleven.  But it wasn't spaced out throughout the day.  It was all between 4 and 8 or 9 pm.  I am just now realising how bad that is.  It has been in the last few months that my intake of the pills has really increased to an abusive degree.  I just keep taking more and more of them even though I'm scared that it is going to make me sick.  So, I have today and today I am not taking any.  Please let me get through today.

[willow9293]

Thank you for your straight up comments.  I am displaying addict behavior and I need to be called on it.  As for your question about a program, I am in AA and have been for eleven years.  And I was warned about the dangers of taking narcotic medications for medical reasons, even under doctors guidance.  And look what happened.  I slid into the grasp of addiction.  It is not even that bad yet so I feel like I have an opportunity here to get out of it but I am struggling, going round in circles, like you said.  I started doing some step work on it and I don't know why this has happened, not so far anyway.  I feel like I am just a really unhappy person and I like being high more than I like being sober.  I struggle with depression and sometimes I wonder if that is part of it, if I get so sick of the way that I feel that I want to feel differently.  When there is codeine in my system, the headache pain is dulled, yes, but so are the edges that I feel emotionally, everything is softer.  Time passes faster. I don't know why I am so unhappy.  Just for facts, I am being treated medically for the headaches and the depression.  It feels like my job right now is to kick this codeine to the curb.

[spider6]

Hi there willow.  Hope you're still around.  I prob am one of the oldsters that have the most experience with those friggin stupid pills.  I live in Canada and have access to them OTC here.  Yup 8 fakkin measly mg of codeine , 325mg acetomenophen !  Yup up to 80 of them a day!  I'm here if you need to talk...I'm almost 22 months clean off of an 27 year dance.

Let's hear more of your back story my dear.

((((8)))) spider.

[jifmoc]

Hi. Yup, good ol addict behavior that is. You mentioned the word sober a few times: are you in a program? If we don't get help for our underlying causes as to why we use, we'll just go in circles as you are doing now.

There are other ways to help a headache. You know what you need to do: stop taking these, suffer the withdrawls, and address your addiction.

Good luck to you:)