I am reposting this, as I had sent this as an answer to stargazer's question:
I think we all have to remember one VERY important thing: Life is Hard. It is not uncommon for the average person, or anyone, to get up and feel tired, depressed, unmotivated. It is WHAT they do when they feel that way that separates an addict from a non-addict.
We want to take a pill (path of least resistance) instead of face reality. Instead of taking a morning jog or do at least 15 minutes of riding a stationary bike when we feel that sad, depressed feeling (to get a shot of endorphins), we pop a pill. Its easier. It takes less time.
We have got to remember that those feelings of unmotivation are quite common in everyone. We have to RE-TRAIN ourselves. Is it easy? Not for most of us, which is why we are on this forum. You mentioned that you associated pleasant memories to taking pills. I do too. HOWEVER, that feeling wont last forever. One's body becomes acclimated to the drug, and then it needs more. Or a stronger drug. This vicious cycle never ends. You eventually run out of stuff and need to find more. You cant find more? You have to wait till you find a doc that will prescribe more. Shopping doctors? What a pain. You have to wait for the pharmacy to open. You have to find the money to pay for it, even tho it can be very inexpensive with insurance.
FOCUS on the bad experiences related to being addicted.
We have to look at the big picture. What do we want for ourselves in the future, our children, our reputation. It all matters, but when we are numb from vic or whatever, its hard to "see the forest for the trees".
This is what I try to encode on my brain every day. I still have vicodin left, but I am tapering off. However, today, I was just thinking of flushing the few "halves" I have left. I don't even feel the effect of those little half pills I have left. What's so fun about that? If ya can't feel it.
It is VERY hard. I am sitting here shaking like a tree. I want to run a few miles. My chest feels heavy and tight. But, I am truly feeling some sense of accomplishment.
I am going to post this on the open forum, because I feel like it can probably help others.
Hang in there, stargazer and everyone else.