This community is a place to share information and support with others who are trying to stop using drugs, prescription drugs, alcohol, tobacco or other addictive substances. Discuss with others, the symptoms of addiction, addiction recovery, ways to quit like tapering and cold turkey, and withdrawal symptoms. If you are interested in general "chat", please visit our
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Grappler
I HOPE YOU SEEK HELP AND I WILL PRAY FOR YOU..
30 a day is a serious problem but NOT insurmountable. There are enough ppl on this board who have prevailed over same & could give your usage a serious run for its money. But make no mistake about it: Getting off ultram is going to be tough & to not have 3 days to go thru withdrawal is greatly under-estimating the inherent difficulty in getting off this drug. The fact is, 3 days would hardly touch the withdrawals you are going to experience.
But do it you can. You need determination, a game plan, an understanding of what addiction is all about, to know what to expect while withdrawing, family support & the support of other addicts.
I have never been a group gal. But once I looked the monster in the eye & saw it was me, I came to this board & it has helped me tremendously & I'm now almost 6 wks. clean of beaucoup doses of codeine.
I'm curious as to what your doc says about your usage, although I'm assuming you must be getting extra from supplementary sources since I can't imagine a doc prescribing 900 tabs a mo. If you're shopping around, you're in good company on this board.
You'll likely get a lot more useful advice later from others on this board but I wanted to welcome you, tell you you CAN do it but urge you to do it right. You've taken the first step by coming here. It's a series of steps, for all of us, even those long clean.
We're all pulling for you & post as often as you need
Dancing in the Dark
If you feel that you really cannot detox right now or if you do detox and fall off the wagon, Suboxone might be an alternative. It can be used as a maintenance drug, and it has saved my life. I've been on it a couple months, and I can't tell you the difference it has made. Plus, it doesn't come with the ball and chain that being on Methadone maintenance does.
You do have to be careful though, because the addict in you will tell you you need more pills. I have to use a lot of willpower to take as prescribed, even though if I were to take more it wouldn't do anything for me. You should start looking for an addiction specialist in your area, and ask him/her about Suboxone if it sounds like something that interests you.
We can do many things we don't think we can. I cannot say it enough - tell your family and friends about this. Let them support you. You will need that. Good luck.
I was here about 6 months ago at the begining of my first withdrawl from opiates. At that time I was coming off a habit, which had progressed over the course of about 18 months.
My abuse began after a motorcycle accident which left me with a broken foot and a later wreck, which dealt me an almost complete tear of my left ACL. I was 29 at the time of my accidents and on March 7th I will turn 32. The first withdrawl was BAD! So bad that I said I would never go back to using again. I was a Registered Nurse and had come very close to getting caught nabbing drugs on a few occasions. Well, needless to say I ate those words. I was clean for almost 2 months. I remember thinking how dumb I was for risking my CAREER and in the process throwing away my life. I was so happy to be free from the evils of opiate addiction.
Here I am 4 days from my 32nd birthday and on my 4th day of a cold turkey withdrawl. The difference this time is that I got CAUGHT! I was caught taking IV Demerol from a hospital. I thought I was too slick to get caught, but I DID.
The State Board of Nursing gave me the opportunity to seek treatment and keep my license, but the hoops I was going to have to jump thru for the next 3 years seemed overwhelming and when I got the packet from the board 2 weeks ago, I just put it away and missed the deadline to enter treatment. Basically, I threw everything away. I rationalize this behavior by keeping in my mind that I never wanted to be a nurse anyway, which is true. I just sometimes wonder if I am taking the easy road out.
The withdrawl is much different this time. Yesterday was the worst with aches and pains in my legs and lower back. It seems so much worse this time. I hope day 5 will be the begining of the end for my LAST withdrawl. I guess I had to lose everything in order to see the light. My relationships with everyone around me have all but disappeared. I see myself as difficult to get along with and almost completely self centered. THIS IS NOT WHO I AM.
I guess I am just typing to get things off my chest and to say that this is a hell of alot of pain to go thru for a damn DRUG!
Thanks for listening,
James
Idjohn, pharmdee is right: 30 Ultram a day is a toxic dose by anyone's standards (even mine). You may think you're too busy to take time off for detox. After you've seizured from an Ultram OD you'll undoubtedly find the time. Better to find that time now. A mom in the middle of a drug-enduced seizure isn't much use to her kids, especially if she's behind the wheel at the time. At the dose you're on, this can happen without warning. Imagine the consequences ...
Thomas
P.S. Hi Spanky!
I don't hold much stock in most anything Rousseau said but one quote has long been a favorite & bodes well for all of us.
My life is not in the past
It is before me.
Stay connected to us & know we are all there for you, perhaps because we've all been there.
Hang in there because you are going to get through this and when you do, you're going to feel utterly fabulous physically and emotionally.
Best,
Dancing in the Dark
I confess that I often pull these all-writers & the times I've tried to post to no avail, have always been about this hr.
Am I missing something? I go to "Post a Question". Am I doing something wrong? I am a blonde after all.
I do think it's terrific of them to always have that $15. for a question option available. I mean, really, really.
Any ideas???
Dancing.....
Sharon
Again, thanks & wonderful to officially meet your acquaintance.
Best,
Dancing...
And, James, sure enough, I got nailed. I was a pharmacy technician, stealing my daily wares from the shelves at will...The reason I am writing is because I DID get into the three-year rehab/probation period that you didn't. It's a rigorous som'*****. Random drug screens that test for EVERYTHING--requiring me to call in EVERY day except holidays and Sundays for three years....But the end result is, my certification won't be taken away because it won't be reported to the board of pharmacy and I won't have a felony on my record. Like you, MANY times I have told myself that this isn't my dream come true, and I lose sight of exactly WHY I am putting myself through all this. I'm sure a part of it is a type of subconscious punishment/atonement sentence...In short, I'm tempted to bag it all and just keep on careening through life haphazardly, with no real goals of recovery at hand. What's so bad about not having a clue??? LOL If you are having second thoughts, I would encourage you to get in touch w/ your Health Professional Rehab group that you were dealing w/, as I think you will be surprised at how compassionate they can be. If not, at the very least, I would recommend getting some counseling to come to terms w/ your addiction; to resolve the incongruities you have w/ your self-image vs. your "public persona". You can reclaim yourself, James! I wish you well. If I can help in any way, please let me know. Peaz
I believe that before you can reclaim your life, you must forgive yourself. That doesn't mean you let yourself off the hook. The responsibility will always be yours. But what's done is done. What would help you right now is to find some AA and/or NA meetings. I'd suggest from open AA meetings to start. Just go there. You may understand intelectually that you are not alone in being an addict, but what you need now is to experience some fellowship with other addicts. It will help you to do right by yourself instead of inflicting more self-punishment. Self-loathing and shame will only lead you back to drugs. Let us know how you're doing.
Thomas
I have no medical or scientific background like peez, nor the inherent wisdom of Thomas but I wanted to add just one thought.
Peez said it all so well about wanting to get caught, the reasons etc. but I have to wonder: Could there be something subconbscious within that acknowledges the only way to cease & desist is by being forced to? If so, what better way than to push the envelope, fully aware of the possible repercussions until you are caught, your life hits the bottom of the barrel & you are FORCED to stop? At this juncture, do you really have any choice but to quit?
Just a thought! We're all pulling for you.
Dancing...
Judy, I believe they only allow one question per day so Dr. Horvath doesn't freak out. Poor guy's hanging by a thread ...
I liked your Rousseau quote. Succinct *******, wasn't he? Just don't get carried away. He was French, ya know. If you find you just can't help yourself, we'll send a de-programmer from the Just Say No to Rousseau Foundation to check in on you. And I hear the de-programmer is a sexy guy ... hey, double trouble!
Thomas
Before beginning the taper, start taking a regular vitamin B, some codliver oil(A&D) vit E 200 and coral calcium. The coral includes 72 trace minerals. Extra water is a must. We need to rinse out the system. A regular routine of fresh air and mild excersize. Don't even start tapering unless you have something for sleep ... if needed. Plan everything ahead of time. If you go slowly ... you won't even notice anything. I get a back ache at night and I use the heating pad. Then it's time for sleep. I take the ambien and crash. Tommorrow is another day closer to being clean and free .... go easy, pamper yourself ... baby yourself. Soon it will be over ... and remember, "nothing good comes easy" ... Goldie
Can anyone else concur?
Some people have said they get depressed coming off it. Is this depression related to withdrawal or the fact that it was no longer providing the sense of well being?
I have chronic pain that builds all day. Last night I took one and a half Percocets and the pain was still bad. I got very depressed, though, and usually find that Percocet has this effect. Is this common?
Thanks!
Ultram's chemistry apparently makes it a non-opioid drug, but it interacts with the same type of brain receptors as opioids and opiates. I've also experienced ringing in my ears from Ultram. Of course, I was taking several times the recommended dose. Luckily, I quickly made myself so sick that I never wanted anything to do with the stuff again!
Thomas
My advice, first and foremost, is to seek out an addictionologist. You can go to a website called ASAM and find one in your area. They will undoubtedly give you a treatment plan that suits your needs. I would ask about Suboxone, however, you will want to stay clean while taking this med. They will inform you of all the details.
Your current dose is very high and dangerous, but I've seen worse. You are at an extrememly high risk of permanent liver damage at the level you are at. You must take action quickly, if not for yourself, for your young ones. The thought of a seizure may be a reality if you keep on.
To avoid any harsh cold turkey withdrawals, the addictionologist will work with you and help you, without you having to disclose to many people your problem. I do think it would be in your best interest to inform your husband. Hopefully he will be very supportive and then will be there for you when you really need his support because he will understand what is happening.
If you need more personal support, feel free to email me at ***@****. I can help you find a doc in your area that specializes in addiction.
Please let me know any suggestions on how to treat the problems of staying off and how all of you are doing it. It is a great encouragement reading others stories and now I don't feel so isolated.
Thank you again and I'll keep posting to update.
ldjohn
I am seeking many for the same reasons. Quitting seems impossible. I take 25-30 a day and have been on them for 7 years so don't feel too bad. I am taking Goldies advice and beginning to wean off. She said some good things (look in the thread for her name). She makes me feel like I can do it.
One reason I take them besides for headaches is to keep a positive outlook for all in my family. My husband is out of work as you read and he is getting down about it.
I would like to keep taking these but reduce them down to your dose. Your dose is not bad. You can take up to 8 a day according to instructions.
This suboxone I think would be used to get off Ultram but you probably have to go to a dr. I have a dr but I am afraid to call just yet. It will never be the right time.
None of my business but your relationship plays a big role in taking ultram. I feel tired, uninterested and stress and for my husbands' sake and sake of my marriage I lean on these ultrams. I have been taking them for every aspect of my life.
Please update me on your situation and maybe together we can do it. I hope this helps alittle. Goldie said keep posting, it can help you get through it. She is really nice.
Good luck,
Lisa (ldjohn)
Thank you for the support.
P.S the lady that has a hubby drinking 12 pk a day that doesn't have a job and doesn't support you?!!!! Why are you keeping him around?
for pain and doctors don't have a clue , and you know you can get more anytime you want. That is why I am having such a hard time to and the wd are the worst. How long dose the withdrawals last??? I pray for all of us , because God is the only one that can give us the will to quit.
God bless you all,
JDJC
I think we feel like we somehow deserve to suffer a horrible (even life threatening) detox and withdraw because we are sinful or bad people because of our propensity to self-medicate with drugs that work well on our painful symptoms, be it chronic pain, anxiety, or simply a lack of pleasure or love in our life. As human beings we are problem solvers by nature and in this society we are taught to be individualist and self sufficient to the core. Are we not?
I think it's highly (no pun) likely that many of us will become addicted to something or other during our life times. It is amazing the number of learned elderly folk who are dependent on prescription medication. Degenerate drug fiend grandmas and grandpa's corrupting our nursing homes across the country. The outrage!
My point is that there are very effective medications which are made to alleviate withdraw symptoms and, contrary to popular belief, are widely available and quite affordable. There is new medication to combat cocaine addiction and others to treat long-term cravings. Suboxone and Bubrenorphine can easily alleviate opiate withdraw when started just as symptoms kick in. Methadone is commonly prescribed as a pain med and is very inexpensive. It's not just for junkies anymore.
Most Pharmacies carry all three of these medications and they can be purchased with most insurance with no more stigma than buying your favorite birth control. The problem lies with us stigmatizing ourselves as addicts and therefore not worthy of proper interventions to ease the tremendous suffering of being active in our addictions. We feel somehow that we will "remember" the suffering of withdraw and therefore be deterred from ever using again. We then have atoned our sins and are ready to prostrate ourselves before our loved ones to beg their forgiveness and to accept us as martyrs and heroes for our cause. New men and women. Might as well swear to God to never use again and become a drug counselor while your at it. Well it doesn't work that way. If it did we wouldn't drink after the first time we got sick from it. We wouldn't use when we strarted to get sick from not having any more heroin or vicodin. We wouldn't be addicts.
I strongly believe that every person is worthy of forgiveness and another chance. We need more than one. Again, we are addicts in a feel good culture surrounded by booze and TV ads introducing us to new and fabulous drugs to cure anything that ails us. Just ask your doctor, they say... The fact is, Opioid agonist drugs without euphoric side effects are more widely available than ever. AT the following site you enter your zip code and you will have a list of prescribing doctors who have a harm reduction philosophy and can help you with your addiction. http://www.turntohelp.com/physician_locator/Default.aspx?found=no
Addiction is a disease that requires a specialist to treat properly. Beware of ethical judgements from care providers and find a professional who can help you with completely appropriate and effective medication.
Pick a starting date to wean yourself from the pills; Then wean yourself 15% each week, until you're finally done! May take some time, but your wife will very proud of you for it! AND, most of all, you'll feel so good about yourself!
Let me know how things go, okay? Blessings!
Alli
This is an old thread..repost a new question so you won't get overlooked...lots of people don't respond to old threads.
GOD BLESS EVERYONE!!
We are now separated as he left several weeks ago saying he loved me but did not want to sleep in the same bed and I deserved better. Although I want to try and work things out because I love him dearly, he is not fully acknowledging the impact Tramadol and other tabs along the way have had on our relationship. He now says that we need to work on ourselves and maybe in some months get back together which has happened before and the same problems have arose. As a result of the last 7 years and having three children and a lot of stress financial etc, I became very depressed and lonely and lacking in confidence as he would sleep in another room and even though I am told over and over by friends, family etc, I am a beautiful woman, his coldness has destroyed my self esteem. Sometimes I would drink at the weekend to numb my pain but it only made it worse. Everyone is advising me to wash my hands as this abandonment will happen again and in my head based on previous patterns, I feel they are right in my own head. However my heart says different. I am finding it hard to let go because I love him and that is why I have hung in so long in the hope a miracle would happen and he would change. My gut tells me he is still using Tramadol and other meds but when I asked him to swear on the childrens life he reluctantly did claiming I don't swear on their lives but eventually did. I know this was a desperate measure because I was thinking in my own head I would never swear on their lives if I was lying. My sister says to take a back seat, say no more and see what happens. He is now 200 miles away and it has been nearly six weeks and although we are in regular contact he is still out of work and everytime I mention the "tablets" he seems to disconnect even more. Help I am confused and fearful?????????
I am sorry you are going threw this but by the sounds of it and what I know about the drug .He needs to get off of it if things are going to work for the two of you .I tend to agree with you it does not sound like he is clean .
I hope he chooses his family of the drug it such a hard spot when you cant do anything to make it better ,this is all on him at this point he has to want to get clean.Plz take care of you now and your family I hope things get better .
avis