Update: I'm giving birth to a kidney stone. Yay.

[lilyput]

Ok here I am again for tonight's installment of "help, i want to drink." But tonight it really is "help, i'm in so much pain that i am surprised my eyeballs don't fall-out." hehe...

Turns out I was misdiagnosed at my first drs appt. I don't have a kidney infection, but I do have a huge kidney stone that I am trying to pass. Earlier today I could have sworn I was giving birth. Srsly...that's how much it hurts. Wowwie!

I don't currently want a drink because I broke-down and went to the ER, and they've got me all hopped-up on morophine. I'm just scared of what I will do once it wears-off. The hydrocodine isn't strong enough to kill the pain. Not even close, and booze...well....booze always kills any physical pain I've ever had. Add to that I've saved-up for a trip out of town to see my favorite band in Dallas, plus a room at a very cool hotel that I've been dying to stay at for over five years (for my birthday), and now it doesn't look like that's going to happen so I'm on the self-pity/frustration wagon again. Pain + self-pity is very, very bad.

So I'm venting here in hopes that I can get rid of the self-pity. I am praying to God to help me let go of these feelings of anger, frustration, and self-pity. Also of fear. I don't know if I can go on for days feeling this degree of pain. I've tried everything to keep my mind occupied - even did some housework - but the pain is overwhelming. The doc told me that the pain is akin to childbirth and I have to agree. Well, not quite but very close.

*venting, venting, venting*

ommmm....

[malenurse57]

Be Vey thankful you're female. Stones have farther to travel in a male. Smile

[lilyput]

i forgot...sadinmichigan: they aren't going to do the soundwave thingy on my stone because it's not quite big enough, and it's not blocking my uterer (sp?) tube from my kidney to my bladder. it's still pretty far up in my kidney so i've got a ways to go. i'm just going to keep thinking of kramer on seinfeld - when he went to the circus and passed a kidney stone. that was hilarious and i laugh every time i think of it. :)

[lilyput]

one of my favs is radiohead, which i am going to see no matter what. i don't care if i have to pull a kramer and pass a stone in public. i will. and i'm also not missing my cool hotel room at Hotel ZaZa. it's one of their concept suites and i'll go in pain if i have to, cause i've already paid for the hotel on a third party website and there are no refunds.

heh...ever since i got dry (7 weeks) i've had some serious health problems. however, my life is 100% better and i am so thankful to be off booze. and i'm thankful for all of you and your support :)

i've been praying a lot today, and right now i do not have the desire to drink. that is due to God, and i am so grateful right now that i am not in a bad place emotionally.

[Jacker]

Let's change the subject so that you have something better to think about:  Who is your favorite band that you are going to see?  Just curious.  

[10356]

Hi Lilput
Sorry to hear it's a kidney stone!! ouch!ouch!ouch! I know how much they hurt. Please believe me alcohol will not even budge the pain. I use to believe at one time that if you drank Beer it would help flush the kidney WRONG all it dose is make you feel crappier and if you have to go back to the ER then no pain med.
The pillow won't work on this pain just drink a lot of water and give it a few day's and hopefully it will pass quickly for you.Once the stone passes it's like it never happened so that is something to look forward to.. I'm sorry to hear your long awaited Birthday plans don"t look like they are going to pan out that dose suck, well I'm hoping it passes today as that is a horrible thing to go thru, Vics will not touch the pain either as you know the Morphine barely touches it but it is better then nothing.. Thinking of you and empathizing....

[troubleinohio]

dont drink..that isnt gonna touch the pain of a kidney stone. i never understood that correlation anyways between drinking and pain killing. I used to drink back in my wild days and it never helped even teh smallest of pains i had. i remember taking tylenol after drinking a lot of booze many times to get rid of pain i had (which is really bad on your liver, mixing acetominophen with alcohol!) dont let yourself relapse on the booze. youre just looking for emotional pain relief and i think you know it wont really do a thing for the kidney stone pain. it looks like you will need some narcotic medicine to get through this though. Ive known a few relatives including my mom who have had kidney stones, and ive seen how much it hurts through them, so i can see how you would need something. goodluck to you and keep us posted.

[sadinmichigan]

I really need to wake up..or get some more sleep..lol  sorry..i wanted to say that booze will just make you drunk and in pain..or not care that your in pain..have you ever killed this bad of pain with booze before..it sounds like you have had a child and you wouldn't have been able to kill THAT pain with any booze...I'm just trying to help..the only comfort I can offer is this pain will subside as soon as that stone is passed..but you may be right back to drinking again..don't risk it..

[sadinmichigan]

I am so sorry you have to go through this dreadful pain..can't they do that..ummm let me think..(haven't had enough coffee yet.lol) that procedure to break the kidney stone up?
Can the dr. give you something stronger than hydro's (just to get through this kidney stone ordeal) I do not suggest drinking,.Is the risk of ruining your recovery worth it? I don't know your history, how long you have you been sober? I am certainly not going to tell someone passing a kidney stone to not seek pain medicine of some sort, but I do not think drinking is your answer..It's a real good reason to give yourself but in the end...would you be able to put it down? Do you only have one kidney stone or are their several..they can come at different times..it could take still a few days..I will pray not!! Please don't do it for your own sake..have them put you in the hospital if you have to..I am really sorry..I will be praying for you..keep posting/venting