Update on thumper..still tapering!!

[thumper101]

Hi guys I just kinda whated to give you guys a little update on my progress...as some of you know my story ..and were soooo helpful in advising me and suppporting me, i just felt like letting ya know whats been going on...Well  as of last night i only took 30 norcos for the day...that is 6 less than the 2 nights before...i know to some of you that dont know me it seems like alot..it is, but i have cut back from taking over 68 a day !!..i am sooo much happier...i just wonder how much i can keep this up...i want this soooo bad...i have been looking into meetings and drs, but havent gotten up the nerve to go...after my husband finding out, its been kinda weird..but i am hanging in there and am trying sooo hard to taper back...i have a feeleing its gonna get really hard soon...i hear some of you guys talking about trying to detox from about 10 or so pills a day and how hard it is....so i know when i get there im gonna need more help....i just felt like if i can get to a lower amount a day, maybe i could tell my husband the whole truth about it...he doesnt have a clue that i was taking that many...i am sooo diddapointed in myself for letting this get out of control, i realy dont know how it got so bad...it just creeped up on me over the last 15 years...i guess addiction does that huh??? anyway i realy wanted to say thank you to everyone in here that has been sooo supportive to me..i got a long road ahead and i cant imagine what or where i would be today , had i NOT found this forum...thanks agian i cant say it enough...God bless everyone and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!   i hope to someday be clean and come on here with a sucess story and help in the way you guys did me!!!

love ya all!!!

[thumper101]

wow ...well then i am VERY proud of you (little jealous too)  wish i was at day 9...heck i would take day1 of being clean...but its going sllloooowwww and steady...i feel like the tortoise and the hare...im the turtle...but  my body is the rabbit...anyway..rambling here...thanks again and WAY TO GO !!!!!!  

[broknbck]

i just want to make sure u understand what i was saying.
i'm on day 9 of no drugs-clean.....
when i was tapering, was when i had the withdrawl. not really bad, but had to use ammodium and was uncomfortable quite alot.
tried c/t in the past and it was just too hard. Good luck- YOU can do it too!!!!

[thumper101]

mmm i will try the gum thing   my dr has ne on Bicitra to lower my acid level in my blood...but i dont remember any metal tast at all...thanks for the info i will try it...
oh and congrats on your taper...i am proud of ya...sound like your doing a good job...thats awesome!!!

[broknbck]

about your question of ammonia smell.

does your mouth taste kink of like metal? When i get like that it means my acidic level is high. my diet hasn't always been the greatest and smoking makes it worse. certain raw fruits and veggies make it equal out. sorry i just moved and lost my list.
doctors haven't been taught #hit. this is a serious condition that can make your body very ill if you let it go
try chewing a piece of gum. if it disolves in your mouth instead of staying together then your way too acidic

oh and keep up the good work on your taper. i tapered and had just about no withdrawl when i quit. i'm on day 9 now.

[thumper101]

wow...thanks heraring you story gives me thast extra ummp that i need...i have recently been taking a very very samll amount of xanzx to get me through the night...i have never slept better !!  it has been years since i rember sleeping all thru the night...the zanax has always had a huge affect on me in small amounts...i have strange dreams on them too....I have had night terrors as a child and as adult and  i guess it all comes back...that another story...probally why i subcome to drugs so much  (lets just say i had a very screwed up childhood)  i have never talked about it before, i just dont think that blaming what happened to me 30 years ago is the reason for all my failures...i believe that i am responsible for my own faults...but i know that thats just my tough attitude trying to take reposibility...does that make sence..?  
any who...you guys have been great in here...but i am sad to say that i took 34 last night...you see i took 30 the night before so i really wanted to take 30 or less...i feel defeated...but i know i have come a long way in such a short time, but as you know i am pretty hard on myself...and sometimes that can be a good thing...but todays another day...and i will do as you suggested and only take as need...whew thats soooo tough after your brain has been telling you to just take "One " more huh??!!!

on another note....i have asked several drs...with no answer....Has anyone ever had this ammonia like smell when you breathe in real deep...it soo annoying i dont get it all the time, but often enough that it really bothers me...just wondering if anyone has ever experienced this before  jot any ideas...i may post this on a new question to reach more people ,,,maybe someone has heard of this...I am beeing treated to high levels of acid in my blood...but she says (kidney Dr.) that this doesnt sound like anything with that...drs...i guess i havent found the right one huh!!
take care love ya all...MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

[evildrug]

Hun i read your comments and your doing great, ...BUT...here comes the tough part.  THis is where your perseverence test comes into play.  You have to TALK yourself through every step of the next 2-3 weeks minimum.  YOU WILL TRY and justify taking just that one or more two this ONE time...and so on.  DON"T!! I recently quit methadone, which by the way is tougher to quit than heroine.  I've quit oxycontin, dillauded, all cold turkey.  it was do able.  not easy, but not impossible.  NOw, methadone...that's a whole nother story.  I went through 4.5 weeks of intense withdrawls.  I lost 30 lbs.  was on suicide watch by my fiance who almost failed medical school becuase he had to watch me so closely. It was AWFUL.  BUT....lucky for you, your withdrawls won't be as bad.  The only flaw i see is that now that you are beginning to feel the withdrawls even more, you need to SLOW DOwn your tapering and let your body stabalize and adjust to the new dosage for a few days before you taper again.  Go slow or you will have to take more in order to re stabalize your body again, and that is only taking a step backwards.  Don't rush it.  REmember....quality, not quantity. So just becuase you do it fast and feel fine the first day, the actual peak of the withdrawls from lowering to a new dosage may not hit you for a day or two.  Keep that in mind and don't rush it.  Just stay stable and you'll get there. Drink PLENTY of water and try to force yourself to work out if you can.  Sweat it out, and tire your body out so that you find it easier to rest at night.  ambien works for sleep but don't let it become a new addiction.  I would only recommend taking it for the process of your withdrawls and then find a new method such as excersise, therapy, etc. You can do it!! If i got off methadone cold turkey than you are more than half way there sista!!!  

[loriegurl]

You are doing good too....hang in there girl.
johnny, r2r, and goingtomakeit are right.

good luck and bless you
lori

[loriegurl]

GOOD GIRL!!!! You  are doing great.....keep tapering and dont give in to the buzz, taper slowly as you continue to go down, so that your body has time to adjust to less and less meds. You are going to this is, I just know it!! You are showing determination and that is the key....you just got to remember that the buzz chase is over...take what you need to keep from being sick and NO MORE. Just keep doing what you are doing. the lower the dose, the worse you are going to feel....but it will pass. when you get down there to about 10/day...you may suffer a bit and then just keep going down a pill or two per day every week...so as not to shock your system to bad. You are gonna make it.
hugs....lori

[thumper101]

well here another update...you know i took 30 yesterday and the previous days 36...but now i am afraid that i will take more than 30 tonight..its only about 8:30 and i am really getting that craving feeling and achey feeling...i have already taken 27 so far..that was 2 hours ago..so i am about "due" so to speak to take more..i guess what i am getting at is..if i am tapering isnt the idea to take less and less each day...i feel sooo defeated if i take more than i did the day before..so far since i started 1 and1/2 weeks ago i have always gone down in my pill use...how fast should this go...i know its not a set recipe for tapering, but about how long do ya think...can you do it too fast?..i guess these are silly questions, but i was wondering about how long it took you guys!
i know i my be rambling..i am just trying to keep distracted and stay focused on my progress..does that make sence....probally not h aha ha
Natelile. i realy hope you can hang in there too,..what got you taking again?..  you got clean once so i know you can do it ..best wishes to you on your recovery, im thinking about ya!

[natalile]

I'm gald tapering is working out for you thumper. Soz i've not sent a message for age's. But i've relaspe I'm not on day 2 AGAIN But i'm also tapering of methadone & vallium. I'm on 110ml of meth a daty But take 40 ml, Well taday i have. & only had 1 vallum as it's norm 10 - 15 a day. It's good to hear peple been postive about tapering. Yes in a ideal world going c/t would be great. But it's not an ideal world. & i no if i say that's it NO more i'm setting myself up to fall. It's just nice to read taht people aren't all aginst it & it can raelly work if you want it to.Thank you nat xx & well done thumper take care xx

[GoingToMakeIt]

Of course you could quit c/t but then the w/d is way harder. It is always your choice. Tapering is usually the better route. Keep on keeping on!

[thumper101]

I want to thank you AGAIN... for your words of wisdom and support...I realy have learned soo much about my "wonderful" life of addiction...i wish i would of found this years ago...but i guess all that matters is in the now!!  your right...it didnt happen overnight..but i sure do wish it could stop overnight..i guess i am a little impatient..okay i am ALOT impatient...i realy look forward to all your post..it realy does help me..i guess its a good way to get it all aout and feel accepted...no one in here has ever been any but supportive to me..i hope others are able to get on this forum and take advantage of the great things it can do...looking forward to that day.....i will keep you updated if you dont get tired of hearing from me!! ha  aha ah
thumper

[road2recovery]

you are doing great!!!  keep it up, the lower you get the better the w/d's will be...let your body adjust, don't do it too fast....
good luck to you!!!
r2r

[GoingToMakeIt]

You are doing good. As said, it took a long tome to get there. Don't do this overnight. If you reach a rough time tapering, level off for a few days longer. Let your body adjust to the lower dose. Hang in there and don't hesitate to ask for help.

[johnnykelly]

Addiction is insidius,slowly over sometimes many years an injury and an RX.turns into thousands of RXs and like you stated,it creeps up on you, in my case it started in 1990 and at one point i was visiting 6 or so different doctors.the addvise i can share with you is, give yourself some briething room and formulate a medically safe plan to detox.Remember you didnt get in this situation overnight, so dont torture yourself and cause harm and end up dissapointed and no able to stop.stay tuned to this forum as many people are going through the same situation. all the best john