Update to this is hard

[JACEM5]

Well I told her I couldn't give her anymore of my meds,and she needs to talk to her DR if what she is getting isn't working.She complained that she is afraid of getting shut off by her doc,I had to give in again to get her through this month and now I find myself not having enough,and struggling with taking 2 ms instead of 5.I used to be a heavy drinker and have been sober 16 months and am afraid I'll turn to drinking to make up for the lack of ms contins.She sees me struggling in pain,not sleeping,and all around feeling lousy and still tells me what I gave her isn't enough,I almost fell over,all this and I let her sleep til 1pm so she can take them later and I'm running all morning with my 2,and 6 yr old,all I ask is she lets me take a nap for an hour or 2 when she gets up.I gave her enough to take 1 when she wakes and 1 at like 7 and that would get her through,she tells me after the fact that she didn't feel them and took 2 when she woke up and one later,and then said she was out knowing I didn't have enough for myself.Is it that bad she could be so uncaring,that she cares more about feeling high than me or our children.I know 2 is enough to make it through the day for her,but she wants the high,and I'm speechless that she would do that to us.She goes through her own percocet 10s (120) in 4 days.That's insane!!I'm thinking of getting my script this month and just taking the kids away for a few days and let her suffer on her own to let her know I'm serious,but when I think about it my heart literally hurts thinking of what she'll go through.I'm soooo lost!!Thanks for listening.Jonathan.

[bettie1976]

Forgot to add that I had my current bf doc shopping for me at the end there (up til I went into detox) and he would do it for me b/c he knew that if he didnt, id have to go to my ex's to get them. One bad day he went to THREE different ER's just to finally get 15 pills for me. Thats how BAD it gets.

[bettie1976]

I used to go thru 120 norcos (10's) in 6 days (tops). I got to one point where I was taking 300 mgs or more a day. When youre addicted the addict in you that wants to get high doesnt care about anyone else or their feelings. Once my ex was supposed to be giving me some but had to drive his friend to the ER for a heartattack. I asked him couldnt he just wait til after I got the pills and then go to the ER? A HEARTATTACK no less! She is not in her right mind and until she gets off these devil pills she wont be. It might be a good idea to leave with the kids...Make her go thru withdrawl...Or she might find some other way to get them too...Addicts can always find a way. Good Luck

[wait2long]

i too am from a very small town in NH... you can NOT blame yourself for her problems, number 1 by moving to a city, and number 2 her addiction,her addiction is that...HER addiction...she has a mind and she chooses to take 120 pills in 4 days..she could very well make them last if she wanted to, but she doesnt because she know you will hand them out to her because she has become an expert at manipulating you, and you are letting her do it by enableing her and letting her make you feel guilty ...she should consider herself lucky( and in NO WAY am i saying she is lucky to be an addict, not whats is meant by this) to be in a big city with an addiction compared to a small town in NH where there is no help for addiction,  if i was in your shoes..i would leave with the children...and then call her..or leave her a note stating that you will no longer enable her and she is to seek out help in order to save your family structure...living a small town and you sheltering her has nothing to do with it, please stop blaming yourself for her addiction,    addiction does not work like that. and if she is taking 120 pills in 4 days...she is in some serious trouble, and needs serious professional help now...or she will only be lost to her addiction more intensly. or even her life could be in jeopardy...dont be so tough on yourself and get tough with her.  make yourself and the children the priority and maybe she will seek help when she sees how serious you are and how serious of a problem this is.   and also to see and feel for herself  just how horrible withdrawals can be...  i hope you get some answers and are able to help her beat this horrible thing called addiction.  best to you and we are here for support if you need us...

[JACEM5]

Thanks for the advice and support,I know your right and it's what I have to do.And not being here is going to be the key,the last time I tried to let her suffer I gave in when she snapped at my 6yr old and I saw the look on his face.The worse part is Ive considered giving them up so I'd have nothing for her,but when I don't take anything I can barely move,and that can't happen I live to do things with my kids,growing up myself without a father it is very important to me to give my kids 150% of myself.As far as my wife is concerned I have to partly blame myself,,she's from a small town in NH and I brought her to my home in Boston,she was nervous about moving to the city,so I sheltered her a little too much,let her stay home while I worked ,etc.anyway thanks again,my 2 yr old is crying time to go to work,lol.I'll keep you posted.

[cherokee_gal]

Its sounds like you know about active addiction and alcoholism, and the fact that enabling someone can be deadly. It can keep them from hitting their bottom for as long as you enable them. I was one of those women like your wife. I took pain medication from my dying father and replaced it with tylenol and he had liquid hydrocodone that i took and replaced it with cough medicine. there are absolutely no limits to what a person will do in active addiction. i know its hard to watch someone we love spiraling out of control in this disease but i do know that closing the medicine cabinet to her is the best thing you could do. If you go to AA/NA share with them, and i would highly suggest Alanon.
Take Care,
Deb

[Two222]

Your wife reminds me of myself and the hell I have put my boyfriend though. You are right. She is being selfish. Addiction makes you a monster, and an addict will put getting high before breathing if they could. I understand that you would feel horrible making her go through withdrawals. Thats only because you love her. My boyfriend let me ruin his life in  the same exact way only because he loves me so much and doesn't want to see me suffer. But deep down inside I wish he would just have left me so I would have no choice but to quit and see what I was doing to him. I know it's hard, but taking the kids for a while and leaving her to go through w/d is really the only choice you have. It sounds like she is manipulating you every chance she gets and believe me, from experience of being in her exact shoes, it will never end as long as you keep letting it go on. The amount she is taking will just keep going up and she will just keep finding more excuses to keep using. Right now she truly believes you will never do anything about it and thats why she keeps doing this to you. I really advise you to leave, and Savas is right don"t tell her cause she will convince you to stay. She really needs this type of wake-up call, and when her head clears she will realize what she has been doing. Also think of it this way if you start to feel really bad. It's better that you let her go through this when you take the kids away then have her go through it (which will eventually happen) with the kids there to watch. They are so young they won't understand why their mom is acting like that and it will probably scare them. I don't normally give a lot of advice on here unless it's something i can really relate to, and your wife sounds EXACTLY like me, and I guarantee you it will only get worse if you don't do something drastic. Be brave and good luck!

[Savas]

Yowch.  So you think she's not interested in stopping or getting herself under control at all? Well if you decide to take off with the kids for a while, don't tell her. She'll just convince you to not do it. Keep us posted. You're going to have to make a hard choice.