Very Confused!

[101 Dalmatians]

Hi everyone!  I have some important things to ask all of you and any responses will be very much appreciated!!!  I have been on Oxycodone 5mg., I take around 7 or 8 pills per night, I only take them at night.  I have been taking the Oxycodone since December of 2006.  Do you think I will have severe withdrawals if I have been only taking these pills for like 5 months?  I did actually quit them for 4 days but because of the depression I was going through I went to a doctor to get some more.  I couldn't handle those depressed feelings I was having.  I am even on Paxil but I have been on that since 1998!  During the 4 days I didn't take any Oxy, I was also very, very tired.  The doctor I seen to get more pills only prescribed me 56 of them and at this time I only have 8 left!  I was thinking about trying to taper off and I was also thinking about getting some suboxone.  If suboxone is supposed to prevent withdrawals from happening, why do people find themselves getting addicted to that drug?  How do some of you get your doctor to constantly prescribe you the pain meds you're addicted to for such a long period of time?  I think the Oxycodone is controlling my life now.  I feel so nervous when I only have a few pills left, I wonder from who I can get some more.  My health insurance is probably going to start questioning all my doctor visits with different doctors.  Each doctor usually only prescribes like 30 pills to me, I was surprised when the last doctor I saw prescribed me 56!!!  I noticed most of you slipped along the way of quitting.  Does anyone out there know of any legitimate overseas pharmacies that will send me some Oxycodone?  I am very confused right now so will anyone please help me?        

[101 Dalmatians]

Continued...
Do any of you think I should just admit I have an addiction problem to a doctor?  What would a doctor do if I told one that?  Does anyone know what rights patients have when it comes to pain meds?  To a point, I think if any patient wants pain meds, the doctor they are seeing should prescribe them.  If it wasn't for us patients, doctors wouldn't have a job.  I need enough Oxycodone so I can begin tapering down.  I'm so scared of withdrawals!!!  I was very stupid in the first place to start taking Oxycodone!  I started taking them when all hell broke out in my house with my husband.  My husband told me he wanted a divorce last year in October.  He verbally abuses me everyday so finally I couldn't handle the stress and I turned to oxycodone because it makes me smile a little and it really keeps me going each day!  I have a 4 year old son and 4years ago when I had him by C-Section, my OB/GYN put me on Percocet and I remembered how good they made me feel.  That's my story!  It sucks!  I forgot how my life was before I started taking them.  It's like I don't want to quit at all but then again I do.  I wish someof you would just tell me how you were able to get so many pills and for such a long period of time!  Like I said, I'm very confused!  When my last 8 pills are gone where should I get some more?  I go back and forth everyday, should I quit cold turkey or taper off or do I really even want to quit at this time.  Please reply to me soon!  Thanks and good luck to everyone on this forum!!!  

[hellc@mst]

i empathise with yr situation.even if i did know a legit online pharm,i wouldnt tell ya.im a street addict.no free ride 4 me,xept 4 mdone.mayb thats an option 4 u.sub is basically a replacement therapy.no wds as long as u take an adequate dose.stop/reduce and wds follow guarunteed.mdone is the same.they may hav different names/hype/spin but the xperienced addict will recognise these meds 4 what they truely are.good luck on yr journey.sori i couldnt help.
regards J

[H3Girl]

If you chose to tell your doctor he/she should be able to give your something to help you through withdrawals. If you chose to go on Suboxone you will probably have to see a doctor that is able to prescribe that medicine it is very expensive. Not all doctors can. and the other choice is to go through the withdrawals alone or without a doctor. No matter what you will have to go through the WD's. It is not fun, it's hard as hell but once you get through them you will be so proud of yourself and happy that the pills are not controlling your life. You are shopping doctors and worrying about the pills running out. Don't you want to be free of that? Take care

[Peete1974]

Let me first say that I can empathize with what you are going through.  But let me also say that I recall your posts from earlier on in this forum.  You were asking everyone to help you get more meds.  If you truly want to quit then you will have all of the support that you need here.  If you are looking for somewhere to find more pills then this is the wrong place.  The very first thing that you need to do is make the decision quit....or not?  I know that it is a very hard one to make, I really do.  If you choose to quit than you need to be strong and take each day as it comes.  There are so many awesome people here that are willing to help.  Remember that you need to take baby steps, and that we all falter but if you are dedicated to quiting you will succeed.  One last thing is to think of your child.  The damage that these pills cause mentally and physically are astounding.  Do you want to be here for your child both mentally and physically?  If you do then I think you have your answer.  Best of luck to you.
Peete