Vicodin Addiction

[travelsick1]

I've read through most of the posts on this, but I guess I'm looking for someone in a similar situation as I am for some info / support.

I've been taking vicodin / percocet for 3 years because of a work injury.  I had two ruptured discs in my lower back, and substatial nerve damage in my right leg as a result.  I had surgery to correct the back problems, (a 2 level spinal fusion), and my back does feel much better.  During recovery after the surgery, I was taking 12 percocet 10mg per day, then switched to 12 norco 10mg per day.  I was eventually tapered down to 5mg vicodin 4 times daily after about 6 months.  When the work-comp claim ended, I had to see my family doctor for pain meds due to the bone grafts still attempting to take hold and some noticable pain.  That was nearly a year ago, and I'm still on that script.

I'm currently prescribed Norco 7.5/325 at a rate of 3 a day.  I somehow have been lucky (or so I thought) and have managed to have a lot of people over the last year give me their unused meds.  So 3 a day isn't really the norm.  Most months, when I get the fresh prescription, I'll take as many as 6-8 per day, sometimes a little less.  Then half-way through the month, when I see my bottle getting low, I have to immediately count days left till refill and number of pills so I can reduce my intake.  This usually puts me feeling like **** for 2 weeks each month.

Last month, I quit cold turkey.  It was terrible.  I got NO sleep the first 2 nights because my legs were so incredibly restless!  I had no benzos to take, so night 3 I drank a couple of glasses of wine which seemed to help the sleep a bit.  Right about 82 hours clean, I got interrupted with dinner with a client from work that I had forgotten about.  With no way out of the dinner and feeling soooo bad on my 4th day in, I took 1 vicodin and made it through dinner.

The next day I took 1 1/2 and stayed at 1 1/2 for about a week... feeling a little better than I had during detox.  Then I came into about 40 extra vicodin, and 25 percocet and suddenly was taking WAY too many pills again.

Long story short, I'm on my 2 week cut back period before my refill. (What I've seen some people refer to as the see-saw effect, 2 weeks heavy use, 2 weeks restricted)  I've taken 2 per day this week and feel absolutely exhausted still after 7 days of this.  I'm 10 days away from my next refill, but know that when I get it, I'm going to be fighting that urge to take a bunch of pills again.

Since I've got a running scipt, should I be tapering since I've got lack of benzos?  I feel cold turkey was a terrible idea for me.  I felt so bad 4 days in and just couldn't take feeling like that anymore.  I thought I'd be feeling at least a little better by then, but was just as bad as I was on days 1, 2, and 3.  

Anyone who's tapered off vicodin before could really help by telling me what rate they tapered at that still allowed them to function as a productive member of society.  I've got 2 months worth of refills left, then I want to be off the meds by then so I don't have to go to my doctor for help, or another 6 months worth of refills.  I know with the spine surgery that there will be a need for pain meds at some point, just not every day like I do now!  Is it even possible to go back to "take when REALLY needed" again since I've been using / abusing for 3 years now?  I don't want to go to my doctor for help, fearfull he may cut me off for good if he feels I have a problem.  It would suck to have legit pain and not have anything prescribed for it.

[Some_life1976]

well sorry no one has responed to your post it gets alittle slow on the weekends. i have never tapered i dont have the strenth to do that if the pills are there i will take them. so i dont quite get what you need do you want to quit or just use as the dr perscribes cause that wont happen your an addicte. your not in pain all the time put you use all the time your getting pills from friends and you get anxicty thinking about running out? i am not judgeing i never had pain and just norco everday for 4 years i just got sick and tired of being sick and tired you know what i mean!  whaen you get there you will move heaven and earth to get your life back. i called my doc at 3 weeks clean and told him not to give me anymore norcos that i was getting addicted  was getting who was i kiddin i was and always will be an addicte i know i cant take them ever again i guess there are some who can but i know i cant! good luck too you all i can say is sit and really think if takeing theses pills is worth it is palning your life around wether or not you have pills and always thinking about getting more man i am telling you it is so freeing to have my life back!!!

[Weney3777]

I quit Lortab over a month ago. Then after a couple of weeks, I thought I could take them for pain again. Let me tell you from experience, it doesn't work. After the first one, I was craving like mad, then after the second, third..BAM! They didn't work anymore. It reminded me quick: sick and tired of being sick and tired. Of course, every few days, I just had to try 2-4 again. It's been an awful merry-go round. It's gotta stop. Not to mention, I'm bi-polar and this is really messing with my head. Ugh! That was well-said Some_life; I can't wait to say "it is so freeing to have my life back!"

[jstntime]

Good advice from both so far,

Wen, you are ALMOST ready to start sleeping again (and getting that life back too).  The no sleeping thing gets real old fast!!! You are so close girl.  Hang in there!!!

To Travel,

Only 2 ways off the carousel.  Death and deciding to get off, which feels like death for a while.  You obviously can't taper.  

You could have been talking about me in your story.  I would swear on my life that NEXT month they will last.  Then on the day I would pick them up, I would chew 8 of them before leaving the pharmacy parking lot.

It all depends how bad you want it.  Inform yourself, come here often, bunker down and get to the "other side".  The carousel don't stop bro, it starts to spin faster.

From a long-time rider,

bob

[travelsick1]

Thanks to everyone so far that has responded!  I guess it's just a little depressing to hear from people that have been down this road that tapering probably won't work no matter how strong I think I am.  :(

My question is this... what do you all do for legit and severe pain once you kick these things?  I do have days (mostly when I've had to be really active) that the muscles around the spine fusion are killing me.  OTC meds don't have any impact.  When I'm in those moments of severe pain, I don't know what I would do without the Norcos.  They do give me the ability to continue my day.  I'm afraid that the first time I encounter a day like that, I'll be picking them up to feel better since I haven't found anything else that works.

Does this mean that I just have to live with pain despite it being somewhat debilitating?  If there are other pain releif options that will work as well as Norcos do without the hook in my mouth, I'd love to be told about them!

[10356]

I deal with chronic pain also.. the worst is the 16 screws and 3 plates in my foot. Motrin 800 I found does work and I will also be trying acupuncture in a couple of weeks for stenosis it makes my muscles very tight.. the pain has lessened for me over this last year that I have been in recovery. while using our brain creates more pain to get us to take more drug a carousel if you will going round and round.. Like straight peps I have good days and bad I just have to slow down on the bad and recognize my limitations.. clean I'm more active and have a much clearer mind as it is not always on my pills our my emotions drowned in a fog. I wish you well on your journey. lesa

[travelsick1]

Thanks everyone for your information to date!  I'm working on getting these things out of my life.  This is why...

I noticed that before I started taking them, I was fairly active and could get a lot done in a day.  Then when I started taking them, I could accomplish so much more!  They gave me bursts of energy and made me want to go go go!  But that only happens for awhile.  A year and a half in, I couldn't get much motivation anymore.  I had gotten used to the pills providing me the rush and the energy, but that had worn off as my tolerance increased.  That was the point when I realized the only way to get energy was to take more pills... they had changed the way my body normally propells itself.  Now looking back I can see I was much more active BEFORE them, and I want to be back there again!

I don't suppose there is anyone in the Indianapolis area that would be willing to "Sponsor" me like so many do with AA?