Vicodin Addiction

[lindseyraye7017]

Hi, I'm currently trying to detox off of 6 pills a day...I know it doesn't seem like a lot, but it is for my body. I've been told to slowly cut down on my dosages, but I'd like to meet some others that have been through this. Any advice or warnings, support, anything you can offer. I'm all alone with this, no one around me knows...I'm too ashamed to admit that my addiction is taking over my life. I'm also afraid that once these pills are done, my emotional pain will take over from my past. Thanks for listening, and God Bless.

[rnangel]

I can relate to the disappointment in telling family members who don't extend the support you hoped for. The day I told my mother was one of the worst days of my life. It was so difficult to tell her but I thought it would encourage me to stay clean. Like I need more guilt and shame on my plate lol. I have found that there is no supportive value in telling anyone who has not struggled with addiction. No amount of explaining my thoughts, feelings and experiences could bring about a genuine understanding. Oh well..live and learn right? I'm glad you keep posting here. This is the kind of support we need. NA meetings have also been a lifesaver for me. I have met some of the most awesome people ever at NA. I used to have this preconceived notion that meetings were not for me. Sure would have saved me alot of heartache if I went 4 years ago...

That's great that you took a day off. I did the same today! It's important to recognize our limits. Pushing ourselves will always get us into trouble. So relax and enjoy. Bake some cookies with your little man and snuggle up to a movie ;o)

There are so many 'what ifs'. I think that actually spawned the famous saying "one day at a time". I can assure you that there are so many ways to treat pain other than with true opiates. Especially with teeth. Dexamethasone and antibiotics quickly relieve the pain of an abcess. Other options for injuries are using mixed narcotic agonsists-antagonists such as Talwin. They have properties that are less likely to lead to misuse. All addicts would do well to have an advanced directive in place that clearly states their wishes to be treated with non-narcotics. It's no different than having a true allergy to opiates. Taking opiates can create a life threatening situation. I met a guy in rehab who wears a medic alert bracelet engraved with "ALL OPIATES". At first I thought that was kind of crazy but I've come to realize how serious it is. Anyhow, try not to focus on the bad things that could happen as the universal law of attraction is not to be messed with lol. Really focus on positive affirmations. Writing, speaking and thinking only positively will allow you to create the life you want. Good things don't happen by chance. They are a result of our attitude and efforts. Tell yourself every morning that you can manage everyday stressors. You are strong and resilient. You are healthy in mind, body and spirit. And most importantly, YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Keep up the good work! Sending hugs your way.
Rnangel

[novics]

The Xanax will usually make you feel very sluggish and groggy in the morning, but this is a lot better than staying up all night at least imho. But you again do not want to use this for more than 9 or 10 days, to avoid getting addicted to this, in addition to the Vicodin.

If you can, you should completely avoid narcotic painkillers in the future like the plague, and only take them again if there is no other option(back, knee, and shoulder surgery unfortunately yes, but not for dental, and maybe not for broken bones either, if something non narcotic will do the trick.)  

[lindseyraye7017]

Thank you all for the kind words. I've come clean to a couple more family members, and I wish I hadn't....a couple of them weren't very supportive. Of course one is an alcoholic herself, so I can't blame her. In some way she might be jealous that I was able to quit cold turkey.
But the Xanax is a great idea; I couldn't sleep for the life of me last night, I had too much stuff on my mind. Maybe I'll try it tonight. I've had a prescription of this for a long time now, but ironically enough, I was afriad I might get addicted. I'll give it a shot.
I'm still not feeling like myself; real sluggish and slow motion-like. I want my old self back. I did go to work yesterday, and it was the longest 9 hours of my life; everyone believed me that I had the flu, because I was sweating and chilled and green all day. This morning I woke up feeling a little better, but called in; I want a day for me to just do what I want. I've spent the last hour or so writing in my journal; it seems like my only way to let all my feelings out.
But I promise you this, I have no intention of EVER getting back on Vicodin. I hate it with a passion. Now my only worry, is what if I truly have pain one day? Dental work? Broken bone? Then what? I've been thinking about it a lot these last few days and it's almost giving me an anxiety. Am I alone in this??

[novics]

I just went through this(15 days today) and I am doing great. You need B vitamins, and something to help you sleep(I used Xanax for 9 days, and I am sleeping great now with no help)

It is really not as bad as some make this out to be(imho), but having something to help you sleep makes all this difference in the world for detox(If you do not have anything call your doctor)

[Bkitty]

Hi! You took a HUGE step yesterday,,admitting to the doctor and your father that you are an addict,,,you also admitted that to yourself and that is very important. NA will help,,remember the pills give you a false sense of security. You dont need them to get thru your work day,,you just think that you do. Dont beat yourself up over this. You can fix this,,you have a choice here. It takes some time to feel better. Be patient with yourself. Sneezing is very common. So are flu like symptoms. I wish you the best~Bkitty

[lindseyraye7017]

Well, here it is, a new year. It took me to hit rock bottom to realize I had a serious problem. My use skyrocketed, I was up to 20-7.5 Vics a day. My bills are so far behind, I'm afraid of losing our condo. So on New years evening, I took my last 5 pills, and went to bed. Woke up New Years day and felt horrible. I was hot, then cold, sweating, then chills.I slept off and on but would wake up with a horrible headache, and of course any OTC stuff wouldnt work. I was helpless. All I wanted to do was sleep the day away in hopes the next one would be better. Well, it just got worst. Last night my head hurt so bad, it was a full blown migraine. I couldn't take it anymore, I had to ask my Dad to take me to Urgent Care to get help. They gave me a shot of Tordol? and it helped for awhile. I was even honest with them about the pills, the dr was amazed I've done it cold turkey. But here I sit, still cold, chills, but hot. And the weird thing is that I keep sneezing?! What is this about?? I don't remember sneezing at all when I was on the pills?? I still feel like death warmed over, but I think the worst is over. I keep telling myself I did it! But tomorrow will be the real test; tomorrow I go back to work. I used the vics to get me thru the work day, I relied on them so much to get me through my days. I can tell you, though that I have no intention on going back on the pills. It was a living hell, and such a waste of money. I'm so mad at myself for doing this to my family. I had to finally tell my Dad the truth yesterday, and it broke his heart. All he kept saying was "I already buried my son, please don't make me bury my only child left". I was devastated. How could I do this?? I'm just so happy that I realized I had a problem and took care of it. Now if I could only start to feel better, it'd be good.

[Innerstrength67]

I agree with everyone. Most of us have felt shame from our drug use. I think SS addicts we go there because we use to cover up emotional pain. There is always that fear of taking that last dose and how we will get through the first day. I was terrified but I took it one hour at a time for a few days and it becomes easier. Your going to have to stop at some point. Get ready and know we are here for you. We have all been where your at. The power of one addict helping another is sacred and gives us the courage.
You can do this!!!

[Innerstrength67]

I agree with everyone. Most of us have felt shame from our drug use. I think SS addicts we go there because we use to cover up emotional pain. There is always that fear of taking that last dose and how we will get through the first day. I was terrified but I took it one hour at a time for a few days and it becomes easier. Your going to have to stop at some point. Get ready and know we are here for you. We have all been where your at. The power of one addict helping another is sacred and gives us the courage.
You can do this!!!

[justsaynotodrugs]

      Pain from your withdrawals will make you feel bad but like one said the TR. will help you feel better put the past behind you concentrate on the here and now get to a meeting they will help, a room of other addicts trying to stay clean you will here your story more than once keep posting addicts have a built in dispossession we want things and we want them fast its called charter defects so dont be afraid of the pain just don't use and it will get better I assure you hang in there and do get a sponsor from the group it will help you.      Let go let a higher power or God help you.

[Ann2497]

We can't talk about tapering schedules on here but you could do a google search on tapering of opiates.  Do you have a doctor that could give you advice on a tapering schedule?

[rnangel]

I don't see the point in tapering. When the last pill is gone withdrawl is going to happen. I quit extremely high doses of dilaudid cold turkey. The withdrawl doesn't last long and then my body was drug free. It is also the withdrawl experience that keeps me opiate-free today. I will NEVER relive the horror of opiate withdrawl again and just thinking of opiates, physically nauseates me. If you are determined to quit then take some time to recover. Get all the things needed to manage your symptoms (immodium, amino acids..) Look up the Thomas recipe on this site. We use mood altering substances to escape pain and suffering, whether it be physical or psychological. You likely have specific traumas that need to be acknowledged, processed and put to rest. Counselling is not accessible to everyone in recovery due to financial barriers. However, mutual support groups are proven effective, accessible and widely found in most communities. Definitely attend a Narcotic Anonymous meeting and find a sponsor. A good sponsor is someone who has walked miles in your shoes. Most have stories that can overturn even the strongest of stomaches. I would attend a meeting and find a sponsor before anything else. The desire to quit is all you need. The rest will fall into place. You are alot stronger than you think and WILL do this! Quiting will not emotionally cripple you but continuing to use will. Well wishes and all the best in your recovery :o)