Vicodin detox

[STC]

I am addicted to Vicodin. I am currently taking between 100 and 150 mg. per day. I started taking it about two years ago after it was prescribed by a dentist and was pretty much using it recreationally on the weekends. I noticed that all day on Monday after a weekend of taking it I was horribly depressed. Needless to say my use escalated and I found more ways to get more pills.

I have tried to stop a couple of times before. I went through all of the physical symptoms which were horrible. The longest that I managed to stay off of Vicodin was about 3 weeks. Even though much of the physical **** was gone, I was still very, very depressed - even after a few weeks. That was the main thing that made me start using again. I just didn't feel like I could continue on with a normal life without the pills.

I really want to get off of these things, but I am terrified of not only the physical withdrawal symptoms, but the severe depression I know will be there. I went to the chemical dependency clinic at my health care provider yesterday. They have a 2 week day program, or 8 week evening program and use Clonodine (sp?) to help with the withdrawals. I can't take two weeks away, but am terified of the depression which pretty much makes me unable to function, at times suicidal. Is there something that I can take in addition to the Clonodine which with help with the suicidal depression?

[DIRTBAG]

12 days were you done being sick?  My bones hurt today and my body is a twitching out of control, its like my skin is crawling its freaky.  I am so tempted to run out and fix it but I stayed home today and although my office is only in the back yard and my boss is my husband and he doesn't know a thing about my life even though we have lived together for 23 years, I feel like I have a little space to myself. What about tomorrow and the next day life sucks like this and when I start getting clean and feeling all these feelings and the rage and the anger man I just want to cover it up.  How about you what did you do with all your feelings over that 12 day period?  Did you yell scream hit something or just try and maintain the nothing bothers me attitude.  Write soon I'll be living on line today.

[ultimate high]

Hey dirt.  Well I was 12 days clean and started using again so I now have 15 pills left and then I will be starting over again.  Yes it's definitely insanity.  I could stop now and flush the pills but I had a terrible tension headache yesterday and woke up with it again today so I'm afraid I will need the pills.  Yeah story of my life.   Needing that high.  You sound like you are doing well and on the right track.  Please hang in there.  I posted the link to a great website this morning for us addicts.  Check it out when you have time.  Peace.

[DIRTBAG]

Thanks for the kind words.  Its Tuesday I guess you know that and I am on day six of a self precribed taper I am getting very sick in between and yesterday I was really losing it and thinking doctor visit.  Made it through that and today I have one and I want to be done by tomorrow but I'm not sure if I will really make it.  It's so cool to talk about this to anybody I found myself in my sleepless sweats last night wondering about chezz and if you scored or where you were at with starting over and if your wife is behind you and pon how wonderful that you still share with so many days clean and you the little guy aspen so young and already so strung out I think you are in a great space to already know your in trouble with pills, for the longest time I thought they were okay because the doctor gave them to me.  You are way ahead of the game and virginia girl what part of the insanity are you living today? Peace I love this web site.

[ultimate high]

well i have a barb addiction instead of opiates so the withdrawals weren't really bad i don't think.  i say i don't think because when i stopped them cold turkey i was also getting a sinus infection so it was hard to tell what was the sinus problem and what were the withdrawals.  I am one that cannot wean myself.  Tried it and can't do it as long as I have the pills in the house.  I even gave them to my husband to hold and then searched the entire house for them.  He didn't hide them well at all.  Dummy.  ha ha.  But anyway the major withdrawal from the fiurocet that I take is rebound headaches which I had and I was very irritable and anxious and after 12 days I saw no improvement with life or my surroundings or the way I was feeling.  It's sad to say but I was happier, more energetic, more sociable, more upbeat when I was using.  I ended up getting my prescription filled because my step-children were coming for the weekend and I wanted to be in a good mood for them.  I know that sounds completely horrible and stupid but I love my step-children and want to be able to do things with them and have fun and when I'm not on the medicine I feel like I'm a lifeless horrible *****.  So I guess that's just addiction talking there. I have read though on this message board on how people stop the opiates and then after day four they see life in a brand new way.  They say that things seem clearer and great.  I wish it was like that for me when I stop the barbs.  I've had opiates before for surgeries and I luckily never liked them at all.  Nothing but barbs.

[Aspen24]

Dirtbag-
Please don't apologize! I have not used today,  and it has been the worst HELL,  but I know it will go away!  You have taken the first step by writing in here! You are on the right track.  Thank you for praying for me,  and I will pray for you that you can get through this!  You are worth having a happy life.  Everyone cares about you in here because we are all going through the same thing!  Take care!

Pon,
I am so scared that I am going to fall back into the pills!  This hurts,  but I know I can do this.  Honestly, 7, 8, 10...or more days of hell will be well worth it in the end. What about you?  Are you doing o.k.?  How long have you been sober,  or are you trying right now?  You really have helped me a lot!  You seem like a wonderful person,  and I am lucky to have found this support group.  Thanks for all your encouragment!

[ultimate high]

well you are right.  More often than not, tapering is not possible.  There are rare instances like some you'll read here but it's definitley not for me.  I have to run out of the meds completely if I have any intention of getting clean.  It's like a devil in a bottle instead of a message in a bottle.  Ha Ha.  I don't think you're offending anyone but for sure you havne't offended me.  :-)